I know you care about this man, but I think his behavior in this instance was unacceptable. It is not ok to pressure a woman regarding her reproductive decisions, whether it is to abort or not to abort.
That said, the choice is now made and the procedure is done, so now what we have to do is help you get through this time and feel better again. I know that when you get into a depression or regret a decision it can be really difficult to shake the negative feelings. It can even be hard to motivate yourself to try! But feeling better is really important. There are some things you might be able to do.
First - it seemed like you were implying that you were attending a university? If so, do they have a counselling program? At my college they had free counselling services available, and this is not unusual in the States (I don't know about Canada). Worth looking into! Also, if you tell me where you are located in Canada I could do a search and see if there are any other counselling resources near you.
Next - I know you're reluctant to talk to anyone about this, but having no one to talk to is probably going to hurt you a lot more than telling someone would. Your mother may be hurt, but if the alternative is you being miserable, wouldn't she want you to tell her? I am a mother and I know I would never want my child to suffer pain in silence for fear of hurting my feelings. Consider telling someone, possibly your mother, possibly someone else. It may mean the difference between feeling this way for a long time and feeling better soon.
Finally, you yourself can take steps to help you deal with this pain and get through it. For instance, it's usually a good plan to put some specific time aside and spend it consciously grieving and processing your feelings. Lots of women do rituals, write letters, go out in the woods alone, etc to deliberately and consciously face their feelings.
Then after that it's best to try to distract yourself with activities etc in order to help yourself "move on" - though you can always take some time out to grieve again if you need to. You could volunteer, or take up a hobby, or just watch a lot of movies and take baths :)
You might also consider getting yourself on an antidepressant temporarily. I did that a few months after the death of my sister and it really helped me get through a very hard time.
That said, the choice is now made and the procedure is done, so now what we have to do is help you get through this time and feel better again. I know that when you get into a depression or regret a decision it can be really difficult to shake the negative feelings. It can even be hard to motivate yourself to try! But feeling better is really important. There are some things you might be able to do.
First - it seemed like you were implying that you were attending a university? If so, do they have a counselling program? At my college they had free counselling services available, and this is not unusual in the States (I don't know about Canada). Worth looking into! Also, if you tell me where you are located in Canada I could do a search and see if there are any other counselling resources near you.
Next - I know you're reluctant to talk to anyone about this, but having no one to talk to is probably going to hurt you a lot more than telling someone would. Your mother may be hurt, but if the alternative is you being miserable, wouldn't she want you to tell her? I am a mother and I know I would never want my child to suffer pain in silence for fear of hurting my feelings. Consider telling someone, possibly your mother, possibly someone else. It may mean the difference between feeling this way for a long time and feeling better soon.
Finally, you yourself can take steps to help you deal with this pain and get through it. For instance, it's usually a good plan to put some specific time aside and spend it consciously grieving and processing your feelings. Lots of women do rituals, write letters, go out in the woods alone, etc to deliberately and consciously face their feelings.
Then after that it's best to try to distract yourself with activities etc in order to help yourself "move on" - though you can always take some time out to grieve again if you need to. You could volunteer, or take up a hobby, or just watch a lot of movies and take baths :)
You might also consider getting yourself on an antidepressant temporarily. I did that a few months after the death of my sister and it really helped me get through a very hard time.
Good luck... we're always here to listen :)
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