(no subject)
why did he have to go and break up with me BECAUSE i got an abortion?! i don't friggin' understand... he said it he didn't mind! but as soon as it happens, he tells me he wanted me to keep her. thanks, man! THE ONLY REASON I DECIDED TO DO IT WAS BECAUSE WE HAVE NO MONEY, AND NO REASON ELSE. i love him so friggin' much that i would have kept her :azzangel: regardless of money or living or whatever. and he'd barely even talk to me... the only thing he said to me until this tuesday was "i was in the princeton house (mental hospital) because of you, i hope you're happy". this tuesday (early wednesday morning), a friend of mine asked me if i wanted to go to the club with them and their boys wednesday night, i said i didn't want to unless kenny came, well they asked for his SN to try to convince him to talk to me (but not to go, that was on my own), and he iMed me and talked all night... i was on the first bus to ewing (his town) that morning and we hung out all day... i didn't even bring up the club thing until stef called me to say she was picking me up, and i asked mr. punk rock wallflower if he wanted to go, and he said YES. that was the happiest moment i had ever had... and we had a great time. he actually dance with me... more than once. he even asked me if i wanted him to stay over stef's house that night, and of course i said yes... we stayed up all night and talked again... in fact, that was the first time i pulled an all nighter twice in a row. he told me he knew he frigged up by breaking up with me, but he just needs time and we can be together again :). so thursday comes around, we go home and both go to sleep. talk all night/day the next night/day. last night (friday), he tells me he's going to go out to the bar with his dad, and he'll be home around 11. okay sure, go ahead, give me a call when you get home... no call. no iM. no NOTHING. i called him this morning, all i get his him bitching at me for no apparent reason... hangs up, and keeps the phone off his hook... and this was around noon. it's now 11:16PM and it still keeps going to the voicemail. what the frick did i do to frick up?? i don't understand him... i love him so friggin' much... and i don't even think he realizes it... i would take a bullet for that man... what do i need to do... i don't want to get over him... i CAN'T get over him... all i think about is him and what i really want to do if i can't have him... what can i do... someone PLEASE have faith in me... :(