christmas eve and thinking

[afrusticwear]

so dont feel the christmas spirit
dont care what im getting this year
and pissed its suppose to be like 80 on christmas

and i realized something
i feel really shit about myself and being alone and bitch about it and then when a guy is intrested im not always fully intrested in them

i think its cause i havent met that guy i really hits me right there... i mean i met guys that were great and all... not many guys at all
but the ones i have met have been great guys

but none of them have come close to what i want or need

and i bitch about it cause im affraid

im affraid that i wont find someone out there

because if he doesnt hit me and fill what i am looking for... i close myself off and back away
and i think im affraid that i will do that to everyone if i dont find that someone....

well merry christmas eve... i hope all have a wonderful christmas and all that yule time cheer