butterfly wings

[afrusticwear]

do i run?

i want to leave...
but from this place... from you... from myself... or from pain

life is full of pain
but you were my one place of no pain

you made me feel like me again

losing yourself is the worst thing
i went through the worst thing

but with you i saw who i was again
the more i was with you... the more i was able to see clearer of who i once was

now i feel more lost
the one mirror that showed me who i really once was is now shattered

now i have to make a new me
but i dont know where to start

do i start by closing my heart off again?
do i become more selfish?

or do i just let myself fall

'the greatest glory is never in falling, but raising every time we do fall' confusius

but i am so tired of falling
i have fallen so many times... i dont even know what cliff was the original

do i just take what i went through as a blessing?
or do i look back with my one regret?

finally wanting to love
finally ready for it

and they get dashed for no reason

taking a car into the wall and feeling something real sounds appealing
but what would that serve but more pain

pain is so hard
i want more joy

i have lost the ablity to find joy in anything

joy flys free like a butterfly
but like a butterfly... your touch as killed its flight

now im not even a good enough pinned displaid speciman for someone that just wants to have my beauty

i have become tarnished
tantined
jaded
harden

i wanted the chance
but you never gave a chance

let me climb back in my cocoon
let me return to joy once again