Wow, that was the most awesome dream EVER!
A friend of my mother's from work is pregnant and decides to have a home birth. In my bathroom. The baby is born and the doctor holds it while sitting in a chair, back turned to us. He spins around and reveals the cutest thing ever. It's like a real baby times a million. It looks more like a Japanese Chibi drawn character than a real human, with a head as big as its torso, stumpy little arms and legs, and vibrant eyes. We talk amongst ourselves, about its beautiful smile when he says "What?" We freeze.
"Did he just say 'what?' Not even 'wha,' or some unintelligible baby babble," is our reaction. He then says something else, some random quote from the internet, I think from a Strongbad Email. At this point, we're a little freaked out and wondering just how smart this kid is.
In dream-shift-o-vision, I end up in my living room at the computer desk, some random girl on the couch, and the baby sitting on the floor. The Office is on TV. I recognize the main theme, though instead of the familiar scenes of Scranton that fly by during the title, it's Pam and Angela on a blank white screen watching as the rest of the Dunder Miflin staff is arrested or hassled by police off camera. Three things race through my mind: How smart is this child, and how did it become so intelligent? How can I communicate with him? I have to find someone to tell about this. Unfortunately, no one is online, though one of my friend Sean's old screen names is on with an interesting away message, something about going somewhere in a hurry. I look behind me and the child has whipped out a laptop. WTF?! Where the hell did that come from?! He's typing away. My next thought is "Maybe he's online." And there he is on my buddy list. His SN: Baby. So I open an IM with him when just moments later he sends me a file. "Awesome," I think, "Maybe he trusts me enough to talk."
Then a windows system message pops up: "Cell mass growing."
Huh?
Then: "Your system has been infected and cannot recover."
THAT LITTLE SHIT SENT ME A FUCKING VIRUS!
I find my mother and pull her aside from her friend. I begin to explain to her what happened, but as soon as I say that he had a laptop, she begins to walk away. "Mom, he sent a virus to the living room computer! It's destroyed!"
I believe her response was something along the lines of "That's nice."
I go back to the living room and look at the monitor and see the Windows XP boot up screen (logo on black with some white writing) being deconstructed pixel by pixel randomly before going blank. I turn off the monitor and unplug the terminal, not even bothering to touch the power button.
God damn little bastard.
Unfuckingbelieveable.
"Did he just say 'what?' Not even 'wha,' or some unintelligible baby babble," is our reaction. He then says something else, some random quote from the internet, I think from a Strongbad Email. At this point, we're a little freaked out and wondering just how smart this kid is.
In dream-shift-o-vision, I end up in my living room at the computer desk, some random girl on the couch, and the baby sitting on the floor. The Office is on TV. I recognize the main theme, though instead of the familiar scenes of Scranton that fly by during the title, it's Pam and Angela on a blank white screen watching as the rest of the Dunder Miflin staff is arrested or hassled by police off camera. Three things race through my mind: How smart is this child, and how did it become so intelligent? How can I communicate with him? I have to find someone to tell about this. Unfortunately, no one is online, though one of my friend Sean's old screen names is on with an interesting away message, something about going somewhere in a hurry. I look behind me and the child has whipped out a laptop. WTF?! Where the hell did that come from?! He's typing away. My next thought is "Maybe he's online." And there he is on my buddy list. His SN: Baby. So I open an IM with him when just moments later he sends me a file. "Awesome," I think, "Maybe he trusts me enough to talk."
Then a windows system message pops up: "Cell mass growing."
Huh?
Then: "Your system has been infected and cannot recover."
THAT LITTLE SHIT SENT ME A FUCKING VIRUS!
I find my mother and pull her aside from her friend. I begin to explain to her what happened, but as soon as I say that he had a laptop, she begins to walk away. "Mom, he sent a virus to the living room computer! It's destroyed!"
I believe her response was something along the lines of "That's nice."
I go back to the living room and look at the monitor and see the Windows XP boot up screen (logo on black with some white writing) being deconstructed pixel by pixel randomly before going blank. I turn off the monitor and unplug the terminal, not even bothering to touch the power button.
God damn little bastard.
Unfuckingbelieveable.