Sorry its been forever...
First of all, going to Whiskey Dick's last night was definetly the right decision. Thinking back, I almost didn't go... and I really actually wanted to. I let drama and other things almost get in the way of it... and I'm glad I didn't. Even though I had a huge blow to my self esteem- I got over that as soon as SevenDeadly started playing. Its about the music. Period. Its about being around people that I like and care about. Its about being able to kick a few back (so they weren't carding... haha).
Its never easy to explain why things happen- why people do the things they do. I've looked at the last year a lot lately- wondering how and why I got where I am, and with the people I'm with. Sometimes, taking a step back and looking at your life gives you a lot of perspective. I've lost more this year then ever- loves, friends, horses, etc. I've gained a lot this year as well though- friendships, horses(again), and memories that won't ever quit.
Last week, Molly and I looked at each other, and wondered when the hell had we grown up. We're not totally there yet, but in the last year, I got my confidence back, my coping skills, and a huge boost in my leadership quality. People look to me for answers that I don't always have, and it doesn't freak me out nearly as much as it used to.
Am I happy? Yes. Do I still have things to improve upon? Of course. But thats a part of growing and learning. I didn't do this all on my own though- I've had an amazing support system. But they let me grow- they didn't let me just stay in my safety zone.
In a perfect world, we would never have to say goodbye. We would never deal with conflict. We would never have to experince the pain of loss. We would never feel lonely. You can't be angry or upset at anyone for making the decisions that they make. You have to understand. You have to trust that things happen for a reason.
This isn't directed at one person, or situation. This is just what I've learned from a year of life.
But nothing is perfect, ever. You have to work at things, and stick with them... not give up.
LiveLaughLove.
Its never easy to explain why things happen- why people do the things they do. I've looked at the last year a lot lately- wondering how and why I got where I am, and with the people I'm with. Sometimes, taking a step back and looking at your life gives you a lot of perspective. I've lost more this year then ever- loves, friends, horses, etc. I've gained a lot this year as well though- friendships, horses(again), and memories that won't ever quit.
Last week, Molly and I looked at each other, and wondered when the hell had we grown up. We're not totally there yet, but in the last year, I got my confidence back, my coping skills, and a huge boost in my leadership quality. People look to me for answers that I don't always have, and it doesn't freak me out nearly as much as it used to.
Am I happy? Yes. Do I still have things to improve upon? Of course. But thats a part of growing and learning. I didn't do this all on my own though- I've had an amazing support system. But they let me grow- they didn't let me just stay in my safety zone.
In a perfect world, we would never have to say goodbye. We would never deal with conflict. We would never have to experince the pain of loss. We would never feel lonely. You can't be angry or upset at anyone for making the decisions that they make. You have to understand. You have to trust that things happen for a reason.
This isn't directed at one person, or situation. This is just what I've learned from a year of life.
But nothing is perfect, ever. You have to work at things, and stick with them... not give up.
LiveLaughLove.