I can't stand it.
Dear sick, cruel, twisted, piece of shit I currently call life,
Please stop throwing me curve balls. Please stop giving me wonderful things, and then taking them away from me. Make my pony better, so that I can have a normal riding career. Please stop giving me hope, then stealing it all away from me. I promise I will be a better student, friend, RA, daughter, and person if you make him better. I don't want to ask for much, I just want my boy to be sound again. Thanks.
Megan.
If he is injured permently, I'm giving up riding. I don't think that its really what I should be doing anyway. First Fancy, then Maggie, then Keegan, and now my Doc. My eventer. My sanity. I ruin too many innocent horses. Its like, the moment I get my hands on them, they go to shit. For once though, with him, I was making progress, and I was getting somewhere. I was a better rider. I can trust that horse. I have a talented and caring trainer, who challenges and supports me, a barn owner I trust, and people who ride with me who care about me beyond whether or not I was going to beat them. I have a family at Fairview. And now, none of that is going to go away. I just don't know.
You can tell me that this is part of owning horses. That's fine. But I'm so, so sick of it.
I guess this is what I get for being a spoiled little rich girl who gets everything she wants. I bet you think that if this pony "breaks", Daddy will buy me a new one, huh?
No way. I quit.
There's no sarcasm here.
So if I seem a little distant, a little less involved, you know why now.
I missed one of my best friend's graduations from college.
I'm not there for my child when he needs me.
I'm not there for one of my 'sisters' when she needs me.
I'm not where I should be.
I hate Maryland.
It makes me cry. And there's no one here to hold my hand, or tell me its going to be okay.
I want to go home.
Please stop throwing me curve balls. Please stop giving me wonderful things, and then taking them away from me. Make my pony better, so that I can have a normal riding career. Please stop giving me hope, then stealing it all away from me. I promise I will be a better student, friend, RA, daughter, and person if you make him better. I don't want to ask for much, I just want my boy to be sound again. Thanks.
Megan.
If he is injured permently, I'm giving up riding. I don't think that its really what I should be doing anyway. First Fancy, then Maggie, then Keegan, and now my Doc. My eventer. My sanity. I ruin too many innocent horses. Its like, the moment I get my hands on them, they go to shit. For once though, with him, I was making progress, and I was getting somewhere. I was a better rider. I can trust that horse. I have a talented and caring trainer, who challenges and supports me, a barn owner I trust, and people who ride with me who care about me beyond whether or not I was going to beat them. I have a family at Fairview. And now, none of that is going to go away. I just don't know.
You can tell me that this is part of owning horses. That's fine. But I'm so, so sick of it.
I guess this is what I get for being a spoiled little rich girl who gets everything she wants. I bet you think that if this pony "breaks", Daddy will buy me a new one, huh?
No way. I quit.
There's no sarcasm here.
So if I seem a little distant, a little less involved, you know why now.
I missed one of my best friend's graduations from college.
I'm not there for my child when he needs me.
I'm not there for one of my 'sisters' when she needs me.
I'm not where I should be.
I hate Maryland.
It makes me cry. And there's no one here to hold my hand, or tell me its going to be okay.
I want to go home.