Summer has come; time for lj.

[aforallie]

It's disappointing how terribly I adapt to change. Jeff came back in town, from down south, for Scott's graduation and is leaving tomorrow to go back. He had another ghetto fabulous part added to his car to enhance the performance and he took Scott and I out for a drive tonight to show it off. I'm so...different from my brothers when they're together. They're "gettin stupid" in the front seat and I'm just sitting in the back being a downer trying to act into it. They just act so care free, and when we're speeding along my mind keeps repeating an image of us crashing into something and dying. I guess I'm kinda jealous of their attitudes. To be able to drink, drive fast, and do every drug under the sun, and not give a.."fuck" seems like someone I could never be. I miss when my brothers and I would make forts, have races in the back yard, and play pokemon. And I like changed myself to like those things when I was younger just to be close with my brothers. I mean overtime I enjoyed them, well more than enjoyed them..but hum hard to explain. Hah I really don't care if who ever reads this understands, it's just kinda more for myself. A geeky little boy I can be, but a ghetto man I am not.

This isn't emo stfu, I'm just reflecting.