LIFE As i knoe it, fuckin SUCKS
Well lately has been really good with my friends. My close friends have been supportive for me, and theyre going to be supportive to my actions and decisions. My boyfriend on the other hand, doesn’t give a rats ass about me. He gets fucked up, and here I was worried sick about him. Thinking he was dead in a hole somewhere. So I fuckin called Kent and shit, because last time I did that he did end up in the hospital. So I was worried. And I fuckin FINALLY get in touch wit him, and he was juss sleepin in till… o lets see….. 12:40 in the afternoon when he should have been at work. And I was so worried it wasn’t even funny. I put 100% effort in on this relationship and I don’t get shit back. And he knows it. He knows im constantly bending over backwards for him. And the least he could do is treat me wit respect. But no. cant even get that, I feel like I have no friggen dignity. I fuckin got home, walked all the way to 711 so I could use the payphone to call him, and the number 9 on the fucking phone didn’t work. So I walked all that way for NOTHING…. Which got me very pist. Like every morning, I fuckin go to my bus stop like 10 minutes early, JUST IN CASE he desides to show… ne car I hear, I turn around to look if its him. And I never give up. Ever. I always think about him, how he is, if he is ok. I always think of romantic shit I would love to have him do ( not sexually ) like take me places, do things for me, be sweet to me….. leave notes for me like before. I would love it. Juss to have him for no reason to come do sweet things for me, pick me up surprisingly, things boyfriends do. I love him so much but I mean, who knows. I want him to know how im feelin. And it doesn’t help when I talked to him and he was telling ME what IM “ gonna do” wit the shit that’s going on. Well im sorry but it is my decision with this shit, not his. He isn’t the one carrying this shit, I AM. For 9 months! But I dunno maybe if I could talk to him while he wasn’t fucked up, I wouldn’t have a problem. He is neva gonna change. He is neva gonna care for me like I want him to. I gotta face it. His life must be drugs, pussy, eatin, nd sleepin. I wish it was a lil more then that. But you don’t get everything you wish for do you now? Shannen had a good talk wit me, some helpful things. She talked a lot tho. And fuckin mrs calouri wants to c me in her office tomorrow, I AINT GOIN NO WHERE NEAR HER.. fuck that, shes gonna bitch at me sayin I skipped last period. So fuck that shit. Shes gonna like expel me or something. Fuck her. Uuuuugh so yeah I gotta lotta shit going on……. Too bad my boyfriend WONT try to get in touch wit me, pick me up, do shit for me…… but you know, im whipped. Hes got me on a fucking leash. Im whipped. But w/e im out. Im supposed to be doing some shit for Italian. Peex