i'm jealous.
everyone around me seems to be moving forward with their lives, making something of themselves and chasing after their dreams... i feel like i haven't accomplished anything. yeah i went to college, but i couldn't do it. its what was right at the time. now i wish i waited. i wasted my mom's money that she saved for me my whole life to go and couldn't even finish because of my problem. i didn't know what i wanted to do then. but i do now. i want to be a massage therapist. i want to do my program for it. but would if i'm not good at it? would if i go to school for it and spend the money and not be good at it and not get clients, etc. i already feel like a failure. but its what i want to do. i believe i'm meant to do that. ask sam, i give good massages. i'm scared. i don't want to have the outcome of i told you so. i've had soo many people in my life tell me that i can't do it, it doesn't bring in money, etc. but i have a passion for it, its in my heart. i need to not be scared and just do it. but how? i can't with my job now. and things are going on now there, who knows how much longer i could be there? i can't say anything, but things are changing. maybe for the better? maybe new opportunities will arise??? i have no idea what the future holds for me? but i feel like i'm going no where with my life. what do i have to offer?