Losing a friend - Aoi\Uruha- 1\3
Title: Losing a friend
Chapters: 1\3
Author: me
afina_shining
Genre: angst, some romance, maybe smut.
Warnings: mentions of self-harm, alcohol, sex.
Rating: PG-15 to NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Aoi\Uruha
Synopsis: look at you, look what you're wasting, you're losing a friend.
Comments: based on the Cardigans's song Losing a friend which described my built up emotions towards one certain person (excluding sex, off course). sorry it's lame and quite hard to figure out (><). contains of 3 parts, firts -Aoi's POV, 2nd Uruha's.
Aoi’s POV
You’re losing a friend
A simple thought brings so much emotions. That thought crossed his mind first when Uruha said he’s moving out. Aoi didn’t pay much attention first to that thought. Maybe he was just being paranoic? It’s just stupid to think that way. They knew each other for half of their lives now. Always together. It’s just time for a grown man to live alone, for god’s sake!
You’re losing a friend. The thought crossed his mind when he first noticed that his roommate spends more time with their bandmates than him. Going to a bar. Going to a club. Going shopping. Chatting in the rehearsal room or even smoking. He felt out of place, but maybe it was him being paranoic? That’s just stupid to think that. Uruha came home eventually, to him, right?
You’re losing a friend. He though when he had their fights over and over again. There was always a reason. Aoi thought so, anyways. When Uruha cam home in the morning, never saying a word about where he has been. Aoi knew anyways, knew about his one night stands and little affairs with strangers. He didn’t appreciate that, never approved. He was the one about serious relationships and love. Yes, Uruha is a grown man, he thought, but that is just not safe.
It’s not about revenge. Cound it be? He never done anything to earn that, did he? Yes, he was being overprotective sometimes. Was Uruha tired of him? Did he do that just to piss him? Make him feel guilty? Make him crawl on his knees begging to come back? Uruha was never that kind of person. And his determination to live. That what frightened and confused Aoi the most.
You’re losing a friend. Aoi thought when he walked in the bathroom casually once. Uruha sat one tiled floor, blood on his hands. He was deadly frightened then. He tried to clean his friend and bandage his wrists, Uruha fought hard. He kicked and screamed to get the fuck off him and leave him alone.
“I would rather just die” - Aoi screamed back. Go to hell and crawl back, then let you go. He thought. They had their first big fight that night. Aoi took Uruha to his bedroom and let him rest but when he came back to check on him, Aoi was yelled at and showered with random curse words, the meaning was clear - get the fuck out of my life. Uruha avoided him for a week then. And they never spoke about the incident again. And he start locking the bathroom door, and even his bedroom.
And you tricked me over and over again. - Aoi thought. When Uruha smiled at him during work, they joked and laughed and had good time together, watching movies at night and practicing guitar till early morning. Drinking together and laughing till their knees go weak and they fall on the floor. Sharing secrets and tried cooking together. Like they used to. But after that all this seemed like a trick.
And now I'm losing you, and it's killing me - he thought, watching his friend packing his belongings into boxes and and taking them into a trucked parked in front of the building. He never noticed which were his things which were Uruha’s. Now he knows for sure. And their, his, from now on, apartment seems so empty. Empty without Uruha’s little souvenirs, brought from every place he’d been to. Without his clothes scattered everywhere and his rich bar, always full of exotic bottles with different liquors.
So this the end now. I'm losing you - it was an understatement, once the door banged shut.
Once Aoi got himself a bottle of vodka, Uruha’s favorite drink, he couldn’t stop his mind racing over and over the fact. All the facts. One by one they stood into a straight line. Every fight, every little event. I didn’t see it coming with my head stuck in the sand - he thought bitterly.
Once the bottle was empty, Aoi headed to bed. Cold and uninviting bed. Without Uruha, everything here seems empty. Even if they didn’t share the bed, Aoi had a warm feeling, just knowing that his friend is sleeping in the next room. Now the room was empty and cold surrounded him. He stopped looking at himself in the mirror. What a pathetic view. Shitface drunk, eyes red, clothes crumpled. He couldn’t stand the sight. He’d never looked like that with Uruha. The other man always cared for his looks, even taught Aoi to put on make up, when the band started. Aoi’s eyes filled with tears at the thought.
Oh, look at you! Look what you're wasting, you're losing a friend.
Aoi brushed off all the thoughts and welcomed the drunken slumber, morphing into disturbing sleep. He had dreams about his and Uruha’s childhood, teenage years, the band starting, then everything falling into black abyss. Aoi tossed and turned in his bed, waking up from his own sobbing. He wiped his tear-stained cheeks and sighed. Uruha’s probably having a great time with one of his fuck buddies, or maybe with all of them. He didn’t understand where this anger cam from till he caught his sight in the mirror once again.
Uruha had no excusable reason to leave him.
The thought rang in his head, causing an instant hangover. He wasn’t drunk at the slightest already. He needed to know why. And he’ll rip it out of Uruha if he had to.
Aoi got up from the bed and headed to the shower. He had to make himself look presentable, before practice. He’ll talk to Uruha, even if he’ll have to stalk him like a looney.
My mistake to lose you.
My duty to bring you back.
stopped to read? make sure to leave a comment.
Chapters: 1\3
Author: me
afina_shining
Genre: angst, some romance, maybe smut.
Warnings: mentions of self-harm, alcohol, sex.
Rating: PG-15 to NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Aoi\Uruha
Synopsis: look at you, look what you're wasting, you're losing a friend.
Comments: based on the Cardigans's song Losing a friend which described my built up emotions towards one certain person (excluding sex, off course). sorry it's lame and quite hard to figure out (><). contains of 3 parts, firts -Aoi's POV, 2nd Uruha's.
Aoi’s POV
You’re losing a friend
A simple thought brings so much emotions. That thought crossed his mind first when Uruha said he’s moving out. Aoi didn’t pay much attention first to that thought. Maybe he was just being paranoic? It’s just stupid to think that way. They knew each other for half of their lives now. Always together. It’s just time for a grown man to live alone, for god’s sake!
You’re losing a friend. The thought crossed his mind when he first noticed that his roommate spends more time with their bandmates than him. Going to a bar. Going to a club. Going shopping. Chatting in the rehearsal room or even smoking. He felt out of place, but maybe it was him being paranoic? That’s just stupid to think that. Uruha came home eventually, to him, right?
You’re losing a friend. He though when he had their fights over and over again. There was always a reason. Aoi thought so, anyways. When Uruha cam home in the morning, never saying a word about where he has been. Aoi knew anyways, knew about his one night stands and little affairs with strangers. He didn’t appreciate that, never approved. He was the one about serious relationships and love. Yes, Uruha is a grown man, he thought, but that is just not safe.
It’s not about revenge. Cound it be? He never done anything to earn that, did he? Yes, he was being overprotective sometimes. Was Uruha tired of him? Did he do that just to piss him? Make him feel guilty? Make him crawl on his knees begging to come back? Uruha was never that kind of person. And his determination to live. That what frightened and confused Aoi the most.
You’re losing a friend. Aoi thought when he walked in the bathroom casually once. Uruha sat one tiled floor, blood on his hands. He was deadly frightened then. He tried to clean his friend and bandage his wrists, Uruha fought hard. He kicked and screamed to get the fuck off him and leave him alone.
“I would rather just die” - Aoi screamed back. Go to hell and crawl back, then let you go. He thought. They had their first big fight that night. Aoi took Uruha to his bedroom and let him rest but when he came back to check on him, Aoi was yelled at and showered with random curse words, the meaning was clear - get the fuck out of my life. Uruha avoided him for a week then. And they never spoke about the incident again. And he start locking the bathroom door, and even his bedroom.
And you tricked me over and over again. - Aoi thought. When Uruha smiled at him during work, they joked and laughed and had good time together, watching movies at night and practicing guitar till early morning. Drinking together and laughing till their knees go weak and they fall on the floor. Sharing secrets and tried cooking together. Like they used to. But after that all this seemed like a trick.
And now I'm losing you, and it's killing me - he thought, watching his friend packing his belongings into boxes and and taking them into a trucked parked in front of the building. He never noticed which were his things which were Uruha’s. Now he knows for sure. And their, his, from now on, apartment seems so empty. Empty without Uruha’s little souvenirs, brought from every place he’d been to. Without his clothes scattered everywhere and his rich bar, always full of exotic bottles with different liquors.
So this the end now. I'm losing you - it was an understatement, once the door banged shut.
Once Aoi got himself a bottle of vodka, Uruha’s favorite drink, he couldn’t stop his mind racing over and over the fact. All the facts. One by one they stood into a straight line. Every fight, every little event. I didn’t see it coming with my head stuck in the sand - he thought bitterly.
Once the bottle was empty, Aoi headed to bed. Cold and uninviting bed. Without Uruha, everything here seems empty. Even if they didn’t share the bed, Aoi had a warm feeling, just knowing that his friend is sleeping in the next room. Now the room was empty and cold surrounded him. He stopped looking at himself in the mirror. What a pathetic view. Shitface drunk, eyes red, clothes crumpled. He couldn’t stand the sight. He’d never looked like that with Uruha. The other man always cared for his looks, even taught Aoi to put on make up, when the band started. Aoi’s eyes filled with tears at the thought.
Oh, look at you! Look what you're wasting, you're losing a friend.
Aoi brushed off all the thoughts and welcomed the drunken slumber, morphing into disturbing sleep. He had dreams about his and Uruha’s childhood, teenage years, the band starting, then everything falling into black abyss. Aoi tossed and turned in his bed, waking up from his own sobbing. He wiped his tear-stained cheeks and sighed. Uruha’s probably having a great time with one of his fuck buddies, or maybe with all of them. He didn’t understand where this anger cam from till he caught his sight in the mirror once again.
Uruha had no excusable reason to leave him.
The thought rang in his head, causing an instant hangover. He wasn’t drunk at the slightest already. He needed to know why. And he’ll rip it out of Uruha if he had to.
Aoi got up from the bed and headed to the shower. He had to make himself look presentable, before practice. He’ll talk to Uruha, even if he’ll have to stalk him like a looney.
My mistake to lose you.
My duty to bring you back.
stopped to read? make sure to leave a comment.