(no subject)
4:30 a.m. is saying "maybe this is time to sleep, but i'm willing to negotiate." the clock has been such a pushover tonight. lately, time has been bending in whichever direction i wish it to. it's afraid of me. it's finally learned who's boss. it might have the hour hand and the minute hand, but i have the backhand.
so, as i toy with this power, and debate my control over my own circadian rhythm, i think about youthfulness. it is so fun to be this young and this naive.
people complain about the adolescent years, saying that there are far too many unnecessary dramatics. this is true, but these dramatics come naturally. we are all little people*, at an intensely sensitive time in our growth. it's beautiful, really, when you think about it the right way. so much pain! so much concern over everything in our lives at a time when we're just trying to keep busy for a few years until we really matter. we have nothing else to occupy our thoughts with, so we occupy them with everything. we're all still in the incubator, and we're restless and confused.
this summer is gasping for its last few breaths, and i hope it has been a memorable one for you. we're all growing up, and we're all changing, and it isn't bad; it's actually all so cyclic and perfect. the universe pulses with a remarkable efficiency; freedom exists, but only to the degree that we'd seek it. what we want is exactly what we're meant to want to fulfill this all, to continue with the churning, to propagate...
we all find satisfaction, and we all find death, whether they turn out to be one in the same or not. and in the mean time it's up to us. okay.
-why sign this?
*not like midgets
so, as i toy with this power, and debate my control over my own circadian rhythm, i think about youthfulness. it is so fun to be this young and this naive.
people complain about the adolescent years, saying that there are far too many unnecessary dramatics. this is true, but these dramatics come naturally. we are all little people*, at an intensely sensitive time in our growth. it's beautiful, really, when you think about it the right way. so much pain! so much concern over everything in our lives at a time when we're just trying to keep busy for a few years until we really matter. we have nothing else to occupy our thoughts with, so we occupy them with everything. we're all still in the incubator, and we're restless and confused.
this summer is gasping for its last few breaths, and i hope it has been a memorable one for you. we're all growing up, and we're all changing, and it isn't bad; it's actually all so cyclic and perfect. the universe pulses with a remarkable efficiency; freedom exists, but only to the degree that we'd seek it. what we want is exactly what we're meant to want to fulfill this all, to continue with the churning, to propagate...
we all find satisfaction, and we all find death, whether they turn out to be one in the same or not. and in the mean time it's up to us. okay.
-why sign this?
*not like midgets