Comments | afiawri: I'm Gone

afiawri

I'm Gone

May 09, 2010 22:34

This fic is the alternate ending to Or I'm Gone

( Elizabeth looks like she's about to call Peter back, but she glances back at Neal as she trots after Peter, and shuts the door behind him instead. )

!fanfiction, fandom: white collar, rated: r

Comments 7

hoosierbitch May 10 2010, 04:31:22 UTC

This broke my heart. I don't think I've ever read a fic that talked about loneliness the way you do here - it's really heartbreaking. Wonderful, wonderful job.

daria234 May 11 2010, 11:19:59 UTC

This was soooooo good.

And Peter realizing too late!!!

And the way it turned Neal into the kind of person who would abandon a friend - that's what really drove home how gutted Neal was. Plus, the imagery was so amazingly written.

photoash May 14 2010, 02:17:36 UTC

Wow...

This was amazing and so dark. It's a Neal completely lost from himself. I love the ending with Peter's POV and how he finally gets it but it's ages too late. I hope Neal is indeed in his mind with Kate now.

deepasocean January 1 2012, 06:12:13 UTC

Aww. What I see is that, Peter has finally realized it. He sawthat there's something wrong with Neal and he made efforts.
He made efforts.
Not too little. Not too little to me anyway.
Too bad Neal has decided to stop trusting him. To stop hopping and just think of the worst that Peter will go further in time, again. Peter said 'love', Peter showed he cares and showed he's afraid of losing Neal. But Neal just didn't buy it anymore.....
I could see this going into a happy-end direction. If only Neal took advantage and trust Peter and accept his affection.

afiawri January 2 2012, 01:05:16 UTC

The original story did have a happy-ending, but I was asked to explore what it would've looked like if it didn't. That is why this one is called "the alternative ending to Or I'm Gone."

deepasocean January 18 2012, 16:35:35 UTC

I don't want to make you feel bad or anything. I understand that this is the alternate ending. But when I reading this, especially to the part where Peter started to sense something's wrong and thus started to be with Neal more often, I can't help thinking that this version is more likely to end happy. Until that part, everything just seems heading that way. But maybe it's just me.
But nevertheless, thank you so much for having that "happy-ending" verse. It crushed me to read a sad-end. I'm a sucker for a happy-end. I know it's only fic, but a great written story always make me feel upset or happy for the characters as if they're real people that I care about.

afiawri January 18 2012, 19:32:33 UTC

I find myself baffled, then. The real story has a happy ending, leaving a negative review on the alternate ending because it's unhappy serves no purpose. You can go on thinking of this alternate ending as a 'what if' that can run through one of the character's minds, if that's what suits you.