(no subject)
I have been having a really hard time the past week +, going through a very down period...mostly exacerbated by feeling rejected and not respected in a particular situation and not having the chance to communicate that...also exacerbated by everyone being at odds with everyone else right now, not knowing what is up with friends, people suddenly being gone, and my best girlfriend going away for a month last week, so I feel so so lonely right now. It has been so nice getting to feel like I have a best friend again, but there are lines we have not crossed yet, like being really emotional and really empathetic, which can be scary, and I miss that so so much. and I miss the person who used to always be there for me.
partly I have no idea what to do with myself. I have no plans, nothing I am invested in (besides bike stuff) and nothing that I am doing *for myself*, which is so important. to have projects and goals and connections, but to also just do things for me, that I like and that make me feel good. I just sit here all day and wonder what will come of me. I feel confused and empty, like I don't even know what I enjoy.
people can be so amazing and frustrating and confusing, and I always wonder what it is that people see when they see me.
partly I have no idea what to do with myself. I have no plans, nothing I am invested in (besides bike stuff) and nothing that I am doing *for myself*, which is so important. to have projects and goals and connections, but to also just do things for me, that I like and that make me feel good. I just sit here all day and wonder what will come of me. I feel confused and empty, like I don't even know what I enjoy.
people can be so amazing and frustrating and confusing, and I always wonder what it is that people see when they see me.