Leaving Oz.
My mind changes soo quickly. Today, I'm feeling great. I feel totally different from yesterday. When I'm lying on my bed in the morning, I'm in a totally different world than when I step outside and begin my day. After I wrote my last entry, I got dressed and went to my first day of my accounting class. I thought I was going to hate it. Turns out, I love it. It makes me so eager to start my own business and follow my dreams. The teacher is this butch lesbian in a muu muu, but damn, does she know what she is talking about! She has her own business and loves to teach. It couldn't get any better.
I'm trying to figure out what makes me want the things I want. I was reading my friend Janice's blog about how she was talking with one of her friends who graduated and is designing low-cost homes for underprivilaged people in Africa. She said she used to want to have a Maserati in two years, jet-set around the world, have a hip urban loft, and be one of the leading architects in LA by the age of 25. Then she paused and realized this doesn't mean anything to her.
..then I began to think. It's hard to stay true to yourself in a world of media that's telling you who you should be. It's the advertising, the shows, the billboards. Then on top of that, you have your friends who gave in to it and are telling you that this "thing" is what you need to be happy and wanted. The media tells us what to like, what to want, what is "hot." Why can't we figure it out for ourselves?
I'm a child of the media. I didn't have many friends growing up. In fact, I would go as far to say that the tv was my best friend. It was comforting to see these images of people living there lives, having fun, and hoping that one day I could be that person. Those images of california and living that dream life are soo ingrained in my mind that I can't get it out. I've already been to california. I've already realized that that's not how life is. Yet I still want to go back and try again.
Well fuck that. I love San Antonio. I'm happy here. From now on, I'm living life, not watching it.
...well of course I'll still indulge myself with some tv, but you get the idea. lol
I'm trying to figure out what makes me want the things I want. I was reading my friend Janice's blog about how she was talking with one of her friends who graduated and is designing low-cost homes for underprivilaged people in Africa. She said she used to want to have a Maserati in two years, jet-set around the world, have a hip urban loft, and be one of the leading architects in LA by the age of 25. Then she paused and realized this doesn't mean anything to her.
..then I began to think. It's hard to stay true to yourself in a world of media that's telling you who you should be. It's the advertising, the shows, the billboards. Then on top of that, you have your friends who gave in to it and are telling you that this "thing" is what you need to be happy and wanted. The media tells us what to like, what to want, what is "hot." Why can't we figure it out for ourselves?
I'm a child of the media. I didn't have many friends growing up. In fact, I would go as far to say that the tv was my best friend. It was comforting to see these images of people living there lives, having fun, and hoping that one day I could be that person. Those images of california and living that dream life are soo ingrained in my mind that I can't get it out. I've already been to california. I've already realized that that's not how life is. Yet I still want to go back and try again.
Well fuck that. I love San Antonio. I'm happy here. From now on, I'm living life, not watching it.
...well of course I'll still indulge myself with some tv, but you get the idea. lol