[FIC] See Your Face Again - Avengers - Steve/Tony
Title: See Your Face Again
Fandom: The Avengers
Pairing: Steve/Tony
Rating: PG13
Summary: Written for a prompt on avengerskinkmeme: For some reason (PTSD, failed mission, pure exhaustion, nightmare, etc.) Steve has a full blown panic attack and Tony is the only one around to help him. He talks him through it, helps him calm down, and is overall totally supportive and awesome while Steve falls apart.
Author's Note: This was also part of a fill for my h/c bingo
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Avengers Tower was quiet tonight.
Bruce was across town working on something with Reed Richards. Clint and Natasha were running a low graded mission for SHIELD. Thor was in New Mexico visiting Jane Foster.
That left two Avengers left in the tower. Tony Stark could be found in his usual spot at three in the morning; working in his lab with either ACDC or Black Sabbath blasting through the speakers, but his lab was soundproof so he didn’t disturb any slumbering avengers. He learned that the hard way one night, something he rather not discuss but included throwing knives and Natasha.
Usually he has a super soldier trying to pull his stubborn ass to bed, but he argued that he needed to upgrade the Iron Man suit. Steve finally gave in and left Tony to work in his lab, getting lost in his work.
Steve wished that he didn’t give into Tony and had made the stubborn billionaire come to bed.
Steve was stuck in a nightmare, a nightmare of his past and not one he could think he could get out of so soon.
His face was covered with sweat, features twisted in obvious pain. His body was restless, his breath coming out short and quick as he tried to fight off the memories.
The memories were coming in a rapid succession, almost as a sepia-toned film reel being sped up.
Stark Expo 1943 flashed through first. Memories of following behind Bucky and the dames he had managed to pick up. Howard Stark standing on stage with a car floating on its own for a few seconds before it dropped. Standing at the recruitment center before Bucky left for war.
“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.” “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.”
“You’re a punk.” “Jerk.” “Don’t win the war until I get there.”
Those images cut off as he’s thrown into boot camp all over again. Seeing Peggy for the first time, getting the flag, Dr. Erskine telling him he’s been chosen for the first super-serum.
“That you will stay who you are, not a perfect soldier, but a good man,”
Stepping into the pod, feeling his skin and bones, his cells rip apart to become something new, and reforming them all over again. He could still feel that ache. Then Dr. Erskine being shot, chasing after the HYDRA member.
Jumped again to finding out about the 107th, that Bucky wasn’t one of the ones who came back. Flying over enemy lines with Howard Stark and Peggy, jumping from the plane. Breaking into the HYDRA base to release over 400 men, then finding Bucky in Zola’s lab.
“I thought you were dead,” “I thought you were smaller.”
The first meeting with Red Skull, trying to escape the exploding building with Bucky, but making sure Buck got out no matter what.
“Just go! Get out of here!” “No! Not without you.”
Fast forward a little more and they were about to go through with their plan for that train, that god damn train.
“Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island?” “Yeah and I threw up?” “This isn’t payback is it?” “Now, why would I do that?”
The train, that fight. Blasted back, Bucky picking up his shield. Bucky being blasted off the side of the train. Him throwing his shield at the HYDRA robot before going to the gaping hole.
“Bucky! Hang on!”
Stepping out, reaching his hand out to him, his best friend.
“Grab my hand!”
The sound of the metal bar ripping from the train. Bucky’s face when it broke off completely and he began to fall to the icy river below. The last time he saw him.
His stomach dropping as Red Skull disappeared, realizing where the HYDRA ship was flying. Peggy’s voice as he patched in to the tower
“I’ll show you how, just be there.” “We’ll have the band play something slow.”
The jet started to turn downwards, towards the ocean. The ice, the ice that ripped him from the past, the ice that ripped everything he had away from. The cold hit him like a gunshot and everything went black. His thoughts jumping to Tony, hoping this wasn’t real and he’d get to wake up and see that face again.
Tony changed the angle of the hologram for the new upgrade of the Iron Man suit as he realized the volume of the music blaring in his study was being lowered.
“JARVIS, what the hell?” He called out the AI.
“I must say, this is important sir.”
“It’s only-“ he checks his watch and grimaces. “Four in the morning, what the hell could be important now?”
“It’s Captain Rogers, sir. I believe he is experiencing some distress, his vitals have been irregular.”
The minute JARVIS said Steve’s name Tony was putting the safety on everything, getting ready to leave the lab and check on Steve.
“How long has this been going on JARVIS?”
JARVIS wouldn’t interrupt him like this if he didn’t think it was an issue that needed to be immediately taken care of.
“For at least the past half-hour, sir, I apologize for not informing you earlier.” JARVIS’ voiced followed him as he ran up the stairs to their room, the elevator would be too slow at the moment.
Tony forced the door open to find the super-soldier laying on their bed, the younger man was covered in sweat but even in the moon-lit room, Tony could see he was trembling.
He cautiously walked over and knelt beside the bed, slightly nerved at how much the man in the bed was distressed.
Placing his on one of Steve’s arm, he tried to shake him awake. At first there was no response but soft, quick rambles of words that Tony couldn’t make out.
So, he tried to shake him a little harder. “Steve, c’mon, wake up. It’s not real. “ He was started to get even more concerned when the small tremble from minutes earlier started to turn into mild shiver.
“Dammit,” he sat on the bed, both hands on Steve’s shoulders. “Steve, wake up. You’re fine, you’re not in 1943 anymore, this is 2012.” He repeated that over and over, hoping that Steve would hear him.
Tony felt a small sliver of relief when he finally saw two blue eyes looking up at him, but that was quickly brushed aside when they wouldn’t focus.
“Sir, his breathing is highly irregular,” JARVIS’ voice came, making Tony fall back into reality and focus more on helping Steve.
He took one of Steve’s hands in his own, squeezing it slightly to bring the soldier back to reality. “Steve come on, talk to me,” he pleaded.
Steve’s body started to shiver more as he slowly came back to reality but that wasn’t comforting Tony all that much. He could tell from the man’s chest that his breathing wasn’t right. Short wheezing sounds could be heard coming from Steve’s mouth as his hand that wasn’t being hold by Tony’s went to his chest, grabbing in the middle, trying to make it better.
“Steve, you need to look at me,” Tony said gently, his voice surprisingly firm. He couldn’t freak out right now, he couldn’t.
Steve eyes weren’t focusing on anything, staring off into the corner. Tony took his other hand and placed it on Steve’s face, turning it so Steve was looking straight at him.
“Steve, it’s me Tony. Say something, please.” He stared at Steve, hoping that he could get through the fog of his past and bring him back to now, bring him back home to Tony.
Blue eyes caught and stared into brown, recognition giving Tony a quick chance of relief.
“Steve you need to calm down, you need to let me help you,” he spoke gently as he took his hand off of Steve’s face and placed it over the other one that had Steve’s hand already.
Steve tried to say something, smalls coughs escaped instead. Tears escaped as he looked at Tony, his breath still short and quick.
“JARVIS can you tell me anything?” Tony called out to the computer as he crawled up on the bed, getting behind Steve and pulling him into a sitting position against Tony’s chest.
“Scans show probable chest pains and an accelerated heart rate. I advise sir to get his breathing somewhere near regular.”
Tony wrapped his arm around Steve’s chest, shifting his position so that Steve’s head rested on his shoulder.
“Okay Steve, I need you to breathe with me alright. Please. In and out, in and out,” Tony whispered into Steve’s ear.
Steve gripped Tony’s arm as he tried to fall in sync with Tony. His chest felt tight, it hurt, it brought back memories of hi s pre-serum self, all the asthma attacks.
He looked up at Tony, his mind drifting back to when Bucky would do this for him.
Bucky wasn’t here, Tony was. Tony’s trying to help it but it just hurts.
“Come on Steve, we’re almost there. In and out, in and out,” Tony kissed the top of his head, his hand squeezing Steve’s shoulder.
They had nights like this before, ever since they started being..this. It wasn’t usually like this though. Steve was usually the one holding Tony, telling him everything will be alright. Holding him into his arms and kissing his neck until they fell asleep again.
He hated himself for not being here to help Steve right away but there’s nothing he could do about that now. He was just incredibly happy that he was here tonight and that Steve wasn’t alone.
Tony started to relax a little when Steve’s breathing started to become regular, his breathing finally matching that of Tony’s.
Steve’s let his fall into the curve of Tony’s neck, exhausted. Tony rubbed his arm and kissed his head again. “See, we’re the same. I’ve got you,” Tony whispered into his ear.
Tony could feel the hot tears falling on his skin and he wrapped both his arms around Steve, never wanting to let go. The shivering was starting to calm down but not by much. Tony could guess that that the shivering wouldn’t go away just yet.
“Hurts,” Steve mumbled into his neck, his voice small and quiet. He hated himself for letting Tony see him like this. He loved Tony so much and didn’t want to hurt him, he had to be the strong one.
“Steve, what hurts, you need to tell me,” Tony looked down at Steve, just wanting him to look up with those baby blues.
“Chest,” Steve let out in a quick breath. “Cold too, I don’t like the cold.”
Tony grabbed the comforter from the foot of the bed and pulled it up against Steve. He repositioned himself, fully planning on being there until Steve wanted to move.
“I know, but I’m not going to let you be cold,” he rubbed Steve’s arm.
Steve looked up at Tony, he could see the worry on the genius’ face. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, looking away.
Tony shook his head. “Steve, we’ve been through this. You have nothing to be sorry for, ever. This was just a bad night, I’m sorry I wasn’t here earlier.”
“That’s okay,” Steve mumbled into Tony’s chest, eyes staring at the soft glow that the arc reactor was giving off.
The two sat in silence for a few minutes. Tony kept rubbing Steve’s arms until the trembling stopped. Steve lifted his head and looked into Tony’s eyes. Seeing his face, he knew everything was going to be alright.
Tony gave him a small smiled and leaned down to kiss him. He felt the warmth of Steve’s lips against his and relief washed over him. He pulled away and smiled as Steve snuggled into chest more.
“JARVIS?”
“Captain Rogers vitals have gone back to almost normal, sir. Might I advise sleeping before the everyone comes back home?”
“Excellent idea JARVIS,” Tony said as he pulled the comforter up more to cover both him and Steve.
Steve looked up at him, kissing him on the lips again before he settled his head against the mans shoulders once more.
“Thank you, Tony,” he mumbled as his eyes began to droop.
“For what?”
“Making sure I saw your face again,” Steve began to drift off, this time nightmare free. He was in the arms of someone he loved and someone who wasn’t going to be leaving him anytime soon.