(no subject)
i dreamt this morning that i was an alcoholic, and i couldn't remember how i became one. the dream began actually while i was in a treatment clinic in nyc, and i know that belinda, rich, shannon, gabe, and lyssa were in the city also and came to my group sessions to support me. i also had incredible memory loss of the past two years, and i remember in group session once i yelled at lyssa and it was really unfair to her. i also walked out of group once to get some soy sauce and root beer in paper bags and when i came back i offered the soy sauce to gabe who was unusually excited about it. i remember walking in central park with rich and shannon, and i climbed into this sculpture and thought about how much i hurt belinda. later i was reading this journal someone kept apparently about me and my past and the beginnings of my drinking, and rich was with me, and i cried alot, i cried because i was embarrassed and helpless.