living, finally, living
i love my family, i do. even if it's hard for me.
but i won't stand for racist reactionary bullshit in my house.
hate has consumed my family, but i will not let it become a part of me.
i'm reading castaneda, and it's difficult because my own beliefs are conflicting with the ideas of don juan, and even my worldview which i can't really help is interfering with my education.
i know i want to read more campbell, and im going to read "lila" by pirsig soon. oh and lots of revisiting, especially gandhi, nietzsche, and muhammad.
i guess i've been meditating alot on myself, and who i am, and what i mean to be. i'm really trying to embrace the principle of ahimsa on a personal level. i feel really lame in saying that it took me a long time of meditating on the idea of straight edge before i was led to ahimsa. i've really been trying to study alot too lately. especially just reading from a diversity of philosophies and even religious ideas. but i do think ahimsa is what i've searched for.
i really love belinda very much. she makes me smile.
i wish there was someone physically who i could become a serious student of. i need a teacher who lives in cary close enough that i can ride my bike to, and just learn from. i mean, alot of people in my life right now are teachers, i guess i'm just really looking for that archetypical teacher.
i don't know why my life has to be this great philosophical personal journey in my mind, objectively it must seem like i'm really lame. if i didn't know me, i would tell myself "you think too much".
but i won't stand for racist reactionary bullshit in my house.
hate has consumed my family, but i will not let it become a part of me.
i'm reading castaneda, and it's difficult because my own beliefs are conflicting with the ideas of don juan, and even my worldview which i can't really help is interfering with my education.
i know i want to read more campbell, and im going to read "lila" by pirsig soon. oh and lots of revisiting, especially gandhi, nietzsche, and muhammad.
i guess i've been meditating alot on myself, and who i am, and what i mean to be. i'm really trying to embrace the principle of ahimsa on a personal level. i feel really lame in saying that it took me a long time of meditating on the idea of straight edge before i was led to ahimsa. i've really been trying to study alot too lately. especially just reading from a diversity of philosophies and even religious ideas. but i do think ahimsa is what i've searched for.
i really love belinda very much. she makes me smile.
i wish there was someone physically who i could become a serious student of. i need a teacher who lives in cary close enough that i can ride my bike to, and just learn from. i mean, alot of people in my life right now are teachers, i guess i'm just really looking for that archetypical teacher.
i don't know why my life has to be this great philosophical personal journey in my mind, objectively it must seem like i'm really lame. if i didn't know me, i would tell myself "you think too much".