ever since you learned to walk you ran away

Jul 05, 2005 00:35

where is belinda?
tonite was awesome, im glad to have great friends like rich, sarah, and travis
i cant get the dirt off my feet
setting off explosions is a funny way to express pride in your country.

my parents let people come in our house tonite, people i didnt really like.
this woman, my moms friends with, saw me, every fucking time she said "you look like a goddamn amish"
i wanted to punch her in the face.
my sister was here, i was again reminded of how quick she is to get angry, how she takes every single gesture personally. the people i actually like are her friend erin and my roommates boyfriend rob.

im losing sight of being vegan.
no one in my family has supported me. most people think it's a joke, or that im just incredibly naive, or that im too idealistic. that's why i don't respect most people. i have a difficult relationship with humanity. my religion says we're all connected, but i couldn't feel more alienated by a group of people. ive lost sight with alot of things i care about. helping other people, i really thought was important, but most people don't think so. im so disillusioned, but it's completley understandable to lose energy when really the people who should care about you are never there.

"zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance" is turning out great. books are my favorite escape. "Home Movies" is still one of my favorite tv shows.

existentialism reminds me of so much, and i forget why i live. why i bother. why create so much that will be ultimately forgotten and destroyed?
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