Change is good.... right?
With every day that passes, we change, never to be the same. I forget this far too often. How this relates to my life, or more particularly my last post, is that I should not try to make something about myself the same as it once was.
During the time in my life where I felt the most passion, I was depressed. The things that would get me excited included gothic music, martial arts movies with lots of power and destruction, anime involving vampires or death in some way, and poetry resembling that of Edgar Allen Poe's. That's the way it was when I was depressed, those things awakened a certain feeling inside me that I don't feel anymore.
I'm realizing now that this is ok. I was mistaking my inability to be aroused by the dark things in life for being "separated from my emotions". The truth is, I am just as connected to my emotions as I was back then. The difference is that depression is a much stronger emotion than what I feel now.
For me to long for that feeling I once had, would be the same as longing to feel depressed. This is not my intention. Instead I should be grateful that things are not exactly as they were during that time. I should be trying to move forward. Unfortunately, I'm unsure as to where that is...
During the time in my life where I felt the most passion, I was depressed. The things that would get me excited included gothic music, martial arts movies with lots of power and destruction, anime involving vampires or death in some way, and poetry resembling that of Edgar Allen Poe's. That's the way it was when I was depressed, those things awakened a certain feeling inside me that I don't feel anymore.
I'm realizing now that this is ok. I was mistaking my inability to be aroused by the dark things in life for being "separated from my emotions". The truth is, I am just as connected to my emotions as I was back then. The difference is that depression is a much stronger emotion than what I feel now.
For me to long for that feeling I once had, would be the same as longing to feel depressed. This is not my intention. Instead I should be grateful that things are not exactly as they were during that time. I should be trying to move forward. Unfortunately, I'm unsure as to where that is...