*sigh*

[afaintcry]

i'm kind of tired of this whirlwind of theories about my health.  the latest one would mean surgery, which sometimes also requires radiation, but it has a decent chance of fixing me with only minimal medication intake after that.  despite what i tell myself i always get my hopes up that this will be it, that this test will give me the answer, that things will get better, not worse, in the next few months.  the reality is that the chance of diagnosis is so minimal it's not even worth considering.

what would life be like if i was normal...?  i don't think i'm ready for that, but i still wish it every day.