(no subject)
No matter how many times people tell me to live in the "now" I just can not bring myself to do it. It is one of my worst qualities. Everytime I have something in my life that is so incredibly important to me I think of how it would feel to lose it, rather than thinking about how much joy it brings into my life. It is becoming a problem because lately all I do is cry myself to sleep thinking about how happy I am, and how soon the one thing that makes my life perfect is going to leave me. It’s strange cause I feel like for once everything in my entire life is going just right, and then I realize that one choice might or most likely could just fuck everything up? It seems like I am insane, and being selfish because my life will not be perfect anymore, but really I am just scared to see how I’m going to cope with such a major change.