I thought my ears had decieved me
I thought Chris had to be lying to me when she said that Terry gave Jen all his Dnd Books. But surely it must be true. And the last gaming master is gone. And life seems so...bad. First off, I cant help but be angry. I heard they still have gaming during the week. Though terry told me that he needed time alone. I know that Jim wont even concider
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Secondly i am glad you spent time with your dad. He needs you to spend time with him. (And i am surprised that you allowed him to give you his books. And that you didnt argue with him about what he said about growing up) I guess it just still erks me that you quit hars game, though you were playing his before those other ones. That just wasnt the right thing to do. I am upset because basicly i wont get to talk to you at all now. Har and I sacraficed to go to game. But no one will even try for his game. Its really not fair to him. I see you online right before game sometimes on sundays. I mean you dont have to game every week, it would just be nice to see you online once in a while. Where we all can talk.
Thirdly. You and chrissy do not have the time to make up a campagin. It takes a lot of time and effort. And if you dont have enough time in your schedual to play harleys game (which was your excuse after all) how could you have the time to make up a campaign. And Chrissy may get pissed at me about this (this is MY journal after all) But chrissy can not make an endepth character to play let alone think up characters and ideas for a game. She also spends all her free time with Anthony. Even i hardly get to see her anymore and she is my own sister. You two have school and other activites that get in the way. Besides you two will be out of the area in perhaps a year. So even though its an honorable idea. you need to look at the facts. Chrissy is gone as early as this summer to an internship, or she screws up her schooling.
Harley thought of running a campaign. But truthfully he would have to quit Sunday nights. And he is not about to screw everyone , especially Rhett and Tj Out of our sunday nights. That would be wrong. And no matter how much we want to see you guys, it wouldnt be right to write off other friends.
You say Jim is too busy to move his games. (Which i dont , but will try to understand. Some small hope of him moving All Flesh must be eaten, would have been cool... but you already have a group and im sure we are too old for it )
Terry is giving up, If he gave you his books, and said he is too old. That is it. I can sit here and hope that its just all a bad dream, but why waste the energy.
Rhett gave up. (Which Terry always would tease him about that) At least Rhett never gave up his books.
I think Har and I are just going to have to live with not being able to game friday nights. And If I gotta bitch and complain about it I will. I have to adjust. If I cant adjust in my own journal I might as well stop writing this damn stupid thing.
It just hurts. At least everyone else of you got reasons to get together. We were always out of the loop with that. And now we are completely out of the loop. Just have to face facts.
As to war craft. Well im just not going there anymore. It is just crap really. And I think its more childish than playing DnD. With DnD you get to spend time with your friends. That is what it is for. So truthfully its not that healthy for your dad to be playing all by himself. Wouldnt that give him even more time to think about things? I worry that the more he goes into his shell the more he will push everyone out.
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Now that gaming is done. I know that no one will really care about getting things together since both your dad and Rhett is out. Most of you have mondays. Which i am sure is satisfying for all of you. So it really doesnt matter if Har and I are out of the picture. And well it really bothered me. And I know so well that no one will go out of their way to see us or plan things with us. And why should they? We are 45 minutes away. Which I guess seems like forever for some people. Even when we were in town. No one ever invited us or asked if we wanted to go on Saturday movie days. Or to go out drinking sat night. ( I know i sound like a scorned little kid, but I am just stating the facts.) Or to get together anytime during the weekend. Unless we tried to invite ourselves. We just got invited to game, and well we were happy. And I just have to get over that its over. And I am better now. I realize that this is just like many other times in my life. Friends come and go often through ones life. And this is just one of the times that they will be leaving ours. And I just have to deal with it. I am sorry that I made harley find us a home near indiana. I feel bad because we could have lived in ohio or south of pittsburgh which would have been cheaper. But I insisted near Indiana so that we would be near our gaming family, and near my mother. But even my mother wont visit us, so I guess it didn't matter. And it was kinda stupid of us. But i love my house. And well we will survive. I still have gaming grey. And I am going to start writing again. And as for time for me and har...well we are still working on that. We wont be coming to Indiana for a while. We both need to calm down and take time for ourselves. And we have so much to work on to get the house in shape for the party. And Paige and Owen are going to join Saturday swim classes. And luckily some old friends called me this past two weeks, making me feel a bit better about the loss. Actually I think God sent them as messengers to me, to keep me a bit sane. And not to give up completely on people other than Harley. So we are surviving. I hope your father is doing better. And that Renea will wake up and see the good man he is. And i hope that you wont be so pissed at me as you were. Because its just not worth it.
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