Dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole!
Hey Everyone,
Seems more and more like I turn to this thing for comfort these days. Perhaps that's because I'm too busy to take any real comfort from my friends. I actually got to hang out with one of my really good friends this last weekend after not seeing him for over three months. It was nice. It's always good to be reminded that there are people out there who actually like you.
My mother threatened to throw me out this morning, which, when I really think about it, isn't all that surprising, but it scared the sh*t out of me. I thought to myself: 'If I wasn't so afraid of the pain I'd probably slit my wrists today.' Nowhere to go for 'ole Weiler if I get thrown out. I'd be living on the streets, I guess, though I think that someone might take me in, but, in the end, I'd rather not impose. It would only lead to the same situation all over again. Whoever takes me in would get sick of my pretty quickly and then they'd have to throw me out and, really, I don't want to do that to one of my friends. That's just not cool. The sad part is that I'm working my butt off in school and my job, but there's no way I could afford an apartment right now, and I'm totally gridlocked AT LEAST until I get through this quarter. The problem is (welcome to Weiler thinking and planning out loud, please feel free to stop reading at your leisure) I need to get through school (AA degree) before I can take time off to work full time. For those of you who have been keeping up with my posts (no one? I figured as much ^_^ ) you can understand how my school-timing dilemma really doesn't add any positives to the picture. My one hope is that if things get really really bad that I can move in with my dad and start looking for a job near school or down where he lives. Besides that... things look as bleak as they've ever been. In some ways I hope I don't get kicked out just for what that would mean with my relationship with Mom. As corny as it might sound, I really don't want to piss her off and I'd rather that I got out of that house on good terms with her. Having her kick me out would really sour the relationship, and she's the only mom I've got, ya know? I'd rather not have that messed up. Plus, I feel like I owe her. She did raise me and has put up with me this whole time. Of course, she's made me feel like shit for almost all that time, but, really, that's what parents do, I hear. Man, I am one messed up cookie, eh? I think I need a cyanide.
Join the Fun
~Weiler
Seems more and more like I turn to this thing for comfort these days. Perhaps that's because I'm too busy to take any real comfort from my friends. I actually got to hang out with one of my really good friends this last weekend after not seeing him for over three months. It was nice. It's always good to be reminded that there are people out there who actually like you.
My mother threatened to throw me out this morning, which, when I really think about it, isn't all that surprising, but it scared the sh*t out of me. I thought to myself: 'If I wasn't so afraid of the pain I'd probably slit my wrists today.' Nowhere to go for 'ole Weiler if I get thrown out. I'd be living on the streets, I guess, though I think that someone might take me in, but, in the end, I'd rather not impose. It would only lead to the same situation all over again. Whoever takes me in would get sick of my pretty quickly and then they'd have to throw me out and, really, I don't want to do that to one of my friends. That's just not cool. The sad part is that I'm working my butt off in school and my job, but there's no way I could afford an apartment right now, and I'm totally gridlocked AT LEAST until I get through this quarter. The problem is (welcome to Weiler thinking and planning out loud, please feel free to stop reading at your leisure) I need to get through school (AA degree) before I can take time off to work full time. For those of you who have been keeping up with my posts (no one? I figured as much ^_^ ) you can understand how my school-timing dilemma really doesn't add any positives to the picture. My one hope is that if things get really really bad that I can move in with my dad and start looking for a job near school or down where he lives. Besides that... things look as bleak as they've ever been. In some ways I hope I don't get kicked out just for what that would mean with my relationship with Mom. As corny as it might sound, I really don't want to piss her off and I'd rather that I got out of that house on good terms with her. Having her kick me out would really sour the relationship, and she's the only mom I've got, ya know? I'd rather not have that messed up. Plus, I feel like I owe her. She did raise me and has put up with me this whole time. Of course, she's made me feel like shit for almost all that time, but, really, that's what parents do, I hear. Man, I am one messed up cookie, eh? I think I need a cyanide.
Join the Fun
~Weiler