Continuing Monologue
Hey Everyone!
Please feel free to ignore me as I, yet again, use this journal for the working out of mental-emotional problems within my life at this moment in time. If only writing wasn't so theraputic you wouldn't have to deal with my selfish entries. Oh well. We all have our weak points.
Perhaps I've been looking at this the wrong way. I don't have to give up being a part of the community per se, but my role will have to be dumbed down. However, the dumbing down that I would need to do would require me to, basically, give up chatting on AIM to all my PO peeps. Out of all of my time spent on the net that is the one thing that takes up the most time since it delays me from completing my Internet Tasks (Posting) in a timely manner. I can dumb down my posting no problem. All I'll have to do is give up posting in the non-rp forums and I'm down to just a handful of posts and thus a handful of minutes to do them. But chatting takes up time, and time is the one constraint that always gets my goat.
It's an interesting thing, really. I've been thinking about all this stuff for a while now and within one week I've had both of my music teachers bring up the same subject without my having to prompt them. The thing is, their answers were both the same: You must dedicate to the music, you need to spend more time with the music, that is the Right Path. But I knew their answers would be the same since I already knew the answer. It's not the answer that I'm having problems with, it's the exceptance of that answer and what it entails for the changing of how I run my life. Again, the problem is that I must let go of one world to fully embrace another, and perhaps my reluctance stems from a fear of what this new world might have in store for me. Obviously I've been doing music for a long time and know a lot of the ins and outs of this world, but I've always been on a surface level. What I need to do is plunge into the depths, experiencing the full emersion, for that is the only path to a rebirth and the continuance of my journey.
WHOA. Damn you Joseph Campbell. You knew this would happen! It's the classic hero journey as acted out through my own life and mental processes and dilemas! It's scary how the parallels start lining up. Of course, now I must tell you all to go read that book yet again. Because, obviously, it's awesome.
Anyway, the dilema is now clear and set as thus: I must cross the threshold of this journey, plunging into the new world and experiencing the emersion and rebirth, or I must go back from whence I came in defeat and shame and either start another journey or live my life in poverty of experience. Indeed, it's like the choice that was given to Achilles. A short life of high adventure, strife and heroism or a long life of mediocrity.
The choice that I must make is clear.
I SHALL PLUNGE TO THE DEPTHS OF ALL AND LET NO MAN STAY ME FROM THIS DREAM!
I go now to instigate my adventure! Oh wonderful readers, wish me luck, wish me courage, wish me life as I wish it upon all of you! Let life take you and let love fill your hearts and minds for this life, when well lived, is too short!
I am free.
Join the Fun
~Weiler
Please feel free to ignore me as I, yet again, use this journal for the working out of mental-emotional problems within my life at this moment in time. If only writing wasn't so theraputic you wouldn't have to deal with my selfish entries. Oh well. We all have our weak points.
Perhaps I've been looking at this the wrong way. I don't have to give up being a part of the community per se, but my role will have to be dumbed down. However, the dumbing down that I would need to do would require me to, basically, give up chatting on AIM to all my PO peeps. Out of all of my time spent on the net that is the one thing that takes up the most time since it delays me from completing my Internet Tasks (Posting) in a timely manner. I can dumb down my posting no problem. All I'll have to do is give up posting in the non-rp forums and I'm down to just a handful of posts and thus a handful of minutes to do them. But chatting takes up time, and time is the one constraint that always gets my goat.
It's an interesting thing, really. I've been thinking about all this stuff for a while now and within one week I've had both of my music teachers bring up the same subject without my having to prompt them. The thing is, their answers were both the same: You must dedicate to the music, you need to spend more time with the music, that is the Right Path. But I knew their answers would be the same since I already knew the answer. It's not the answer that I'm having problems with, it's the exceptance of that answer and what it entails for the changing of how I run my life. Again, the problem is that I must let go of one world to fully embrace another, and perhaps my reluctance stems from a fear of what this new world might have in store for me. Obviously I've been doing music for a long time and know a lot of the ins and outs of this world, but I've always been on a surface level. What I need to do is plunge into the depths, experiencing the full emersion, for that is the only path to a rebirth and the continuance of my journey.
WHOA. Damn you Joseph Campbell. You knew this would happen! It's the classic hero journey as acted out through my own life and mental processes and dilemas! It's scary how the parallels start lining up. Of course, now I must tell you all to go read that book yet again. Because, obviously, it's awesome.
Anyway, the dilema is now clear and set as thus: I must cross the threshold of this journey, plunging into the new world and experiencing the emersion and rebirth, or I must go back from whence I came in defeat and shame and either start another journey or live my life in poverty of experience. Indeed, it's like the choice that was given to Achilles. A short life of high adventure, strife and heroism or a long life of mediocrity.
The choice that I must make is clear.
I SHALL PLUNGE TO THE DEPTHS OF ALL AND LET NO MAN STAY ME FROM THIS DREAM!
I go now to instigate my adventure! Oh wonderful readers, wish me luck, wish me courage, wish me life as I wish it upon all of you! Let life take you and let love fill your hearts and minds for this life, when well lived, is too short!
I am free.
Join the Fun
~Weiler