Frustrations, wishes, imporovements, and colds
The Day Hospital program is going well. I will later embellish on some of the problems I have been having with the program. Particular concerns and maybe even my triumphs.
Has anyone noticed that when you tell a health care professional "I have no money in the bank." or "I am broke." They totally don't seem to understand that concept?
I am also having a fear that they may reject me for disability because they think it might hinder my progress. It's a complicated situation because I cannot work, not support myself, and even if I could it would need to be part time, and part timers don't get benefits, so either way I wouldn't be able to afford medication. This is why I truly need the assistance.
Overall there are many things I am finding out about myself, and why I am the way I am now.
After I get better I have also decided that it would be the best thing for me to be able to go to school.
I kind of wish right now that there were Pagan support groups in Toronto. (For those with mental disabilities.) I would love to see that and attend that. I find they are all Christian programs and tend to instill or at least use Christ as the foundation of the wellness in the groups. They really aren't for me. Plus I fear the discrimination when some find out that I am Wiccan.
I also wish I could afford to go to group circles and community rituals. I am to shy and poor at the moment to seek anyone out regarding the subject. (Part of my social disorder I suppose.) I still have lots to learn and would love to learn. There is so much on my emotional and mental plate right now that it is all throwing me for a loop.
I suppose they are right that it needs to get worse and uncomfortable before it gets any better.
The Psychiatrist also suggests that when I leave day hospital I think about being referred to another location to continue the program. It is free but I have no money for the commute. Or they want me to pay for an art course to help me get going outside and socializing. Ok where am I going to get the money for the course and the transit fare? It's like everything in the world needs money to be able to get well.
I fear I wont be able to get any assistance.
I am incapable of working right now because any high stress environment might make me relapse, and a few psychiatrists know this, but the head psychiatrist who has only met me once for 15 minutes is probably calling all the shots. I have a fear that she will force me to fend for myself and I will later end up going back to day hospital program again on a relapse for a longer portion of time, as some have experienced.
Anyway all I can concentrate on right now is getting better. I am sick at home with a bad cold. I keep sneezing and hacking up a lung.
On a great note I am very proud of myself because I was able to learn how to make miso soup! Yum! It's my fave to eat for breakfast now with a side of edamame.
I love being pescetarian! ^^
Has anyone noticed that when you tell a health care professional "I have no money in the bank." or "I am broke." They totally don't seem to understand that concept?
I am also having a fear that they may reject me for disability because they think it might hinder my progress. It's a complicated situation because I cannot work, not support myself, and even if I could it would need to be part time, and part timers don't get benefits, so either way I wouldn't be able to afford medication. This is why I truly need the assistance.
Overall there are many things I am finding out about myself, and why I am the way I am now.
After I get better I have also decided that it would be the best thing for me to be able to go to school.
I kind of wish right now that there were Pagan support groups in Toronto. (For those with mental disabilities.) I would love to see that and attend that. I find they are all Christian programs and tend to instill or at least use Christ as the foundation of the wellness in the groups. They really aren't for me. Plus I fear the discrimination when some find out that I am Wiccan.
I also wish I could afford to go to group circles and community rituals. I am to shy and poor at the moment to seek anyone out regarding the subject. (Part of my social disorder I suppose.) I still have lots to learn and would love to learn. There is so much on my emotional and mental plate right now that it is all throwing me for a loop.
I suppose they are right that it needs to get worse and uncomfortable before it gets any better.
The Psychiatrist also suggests that when I leave day hospital I think about being referred to another location to continue the program. It is free but I have no money for the commute. Or they want me to pay for an art course to help me get going outside and socializing. Ok where am I going to get the money for the course and the transit fare? It's like everything in the world needs money to be able to get well.
I fear I wont be able to get any assistance.
I am incapable of working right now because any high stress environment might make me relapse, and a few psychiatrists know this, but the head psychiatrist who has only met me once for 15 minutes is probably calling all the shots. I have a fear that she will force me to fend for myself and I will later end up going back to day hospital program again on a relapse for a longer portion of time, as some have experienced.
Anyway all I can concentrate on right now is getting better. I am sick at home with a bad cold. I keep sneezing and hacking up a lung.
On a great note I am very proud of myself because I was able to learn how to make miso soup! Yum! It's my fave to eat for breakfast now with a side of edamame.
I love being pescetarian! ^^