(no subject)
ok...*deep breath* more than likely, this entry is going to piss alot of you off. actually, what i'm doing in the next few days will, and for that, i'm sorry. for the past few weeks i've been experimenting, and going through alot of changes in how i view life/myself/others. i've wanted to write about it, but frankly, i think i'd scare the shit out of some of you. others of you wouldn't understand, and i have no way of explaining what i'm doing, or why, to you. this lj is going to be split from now on. i will be making some entries public, they will be indentical to the random ones i do now. light quizzes, random funny things, etc. the other part is going to be an actual journal, somewhere for me to vent some of the things i'm experimenting with. i'm sure this isn't the best way for you to go find stuff, but i'm too damn lazy to find a good webpage on the topic. should you not know what BDSM or S&M are, go google/altavista those terms. and yea, i'm sure 90% of it will be porn, which is incredibly not helpful... if you already know what those mean, then this is probably the part where you freak out, lol. for those unsure, the most comprehensive explanation of 'BDSM' is "Bondage&Domination-Domination&Submission-SadoMasicism." lol, that would be where the rest of you give the screen a very cute 'wtf...' look. anyways, despite the fact that most of you know me as one of the more assertive/dominant people you know, lol, yes, i currently wear a locked collar owned by a Domme in PA. her name is Dove, and yes, she's older than me...by 22 years. i'm 21, she's 43. age doesn't matter to me, and should it matter or freak you out, feel free to take me off your list now. yes, i am still with my girlfriend Eve, and don't have any intentions of changing that fact yet. lol, should polyamory bug you, lol, once again, take me off your list. i will be gone christmas til tuesday with Eve down at Dove's house, so hopefully that will kill all the "omg, does Eve know???" questions... >_<
the main point of this entry is to inform my buddy list that unless you comment here with a reason you wish to stay on the list, my buddy list plans to lose 70% of its members. now, lets hit a couple points here. as i said, some entries will still be public, so if you like my random (and rare, lol) entries, then keep me on your friends page, and you will still obviously see the public ones. second, if i take you off my list, that DOES NOT mean anything bad about you. it means that this part of me is not something i feel comfortable sharing with you. i already have a few people in mind that i need to drop, and i've known some of you for years in person. i don't know how to explain why i'm dropping you, except to say that if you keep me on your friends list, i still plan to go to your pages to read your journals. but it frustrates me to no end that i feel the need to vent or just ramble about things...and i have a journal made for that...but i can't use it because i keep thinking, 'no, i shouldn't write that, they don't know, what would they think...' yea, that's crap, lol, it's my journal, and if i'm going to have this thing, i might as well use it.
another question is why don't i just use a friends filter to make certain entries visible to only certain people? because i've heard too many stories about entries that should have been private, or one filter, and got posted under the wrong one. yea, i don't want to deal with the worry that i misposted something, cuz i'm really good at that. i'm incredibly talented at mis-posting things, and before i make an ass of myself...yea, i'm just declaring it 'my damn journal' and i'm going to cull my list accordingly so that i feel comfortable useing my journal.
hoookay, lol, sooo, posting a comment to the effect of 'keep me!' isn't going to do much, if i'm going to post some of the more publically humiliating things i've ever done...i damn well better have a good reason why i should let you see it. and yes, i already have some people in mind that won't be staying no matter what they say, and some that will be staying even if they don't so much as twitch. (so yea, marlianna, lol, don't bother commenting, you're stuck reading my crap no matter what). i think i've gotten to that i'm doing things at this point for my own reasons, so any negative reactions you wish to post to this, or to the fact that i've deleted you, please feel free to let me know. perhaps i've judged you wrong, and that's perfectly possible. if you understand what i mean when i say i'm in BDSM, and am collared, and i deleted you, and you think you want to learn or tag along on my adventure, then let me know. as we all know, i'm an ass, and i'd rather delete someone and add them back later then leave someone and have them flip out because of what i'm doing...
hopefully this makes sense to everyone, and i start messing with my friends page friday i believe...
fyi, this entry will be public for the random nutcases who have me added to their lists but i don't have added back. when i start messing with my list friday, this will be friends only. so if you aren't on my list currently, you'd better call me an asshole fast.....
the main point of this entry is to inform my buddy list that unless you comment here with a reason you wish to stay on the list, my buddy list plans to lose 70% of its members. now, lets hit a couple points here. as i said, some entries will still be public, so if you like my random (and rare, lol) entries, then keep me on your friends page, and you will still obviously see the public ones. second, if i take you off my list, that DOES NOT mean anything bad about you. it means that this part of me is not something i feel comfortable sharing with you. i already have a few people in mind that i need to drop, and i've known some of you for years in person. i don't know how to explain why i'm dropping you, except to say that if you keep me on your friends list, i still plan to go to your pages to read your journals. but it frustrates me to no end that i feel the need to vent or just ramble about things...and i have a journal made for that...but i can't use it because i keep thinking, 'no, i shouldn't write that, they don't know, what would they think...' yea, that's crap, lol, it's my journal, and if i'm going to have this thing, i might as well use it.
another question is why don't i just use a friends filter to make certain entries visible to only certain people? because i've heard too many stories about entries that should have been private, or one filter, and got posted under the wrong one. yea, i don't want to deal with the worry that i misposted something, cuz i'm really good at that. i'm incredibly talented at mis-posting things, and before i make an ass of myself...yea, i'm just declaring it 'my damn journal' and i'm going to cull my list accordingly so that i feel comfortable useing my journal.
hoookay, lol, sooo, posting a comment to the effect of 'keep me!' isn't going to do much, if i'm going to post some of the more publically humiliating things i've ever done...i damn well better have a good reason why i should let you see it. and yes, i already have some people in mind that won't be staying no matter what they say, and some that will be staying even if they don't so much as twitch. (so yea, marlianna, lol, don't bother commenting, you're stuck reading my crap no matter what). i think i've gotten to that i'm doing things at this point for my own reasons, so any negative reactions you wish to post to this, or to the fact that i've deleted you, please feel free to let me know. perhaps i've judged you wrong, and that's perfectly possible. if you understand what i mean when i say i'm in BDSM, and am collared, and i deleted you, and you think you want to learn or tag along on my adventure, then let me know. as we all know, i'm an ass, and i'd rather delete someone and add them back later then leave someone and have them flip out because of what i'm doing...
hopefully this makes sense to everyone, and i start messing with my friends page friday i believe...
fyi, this entry will be public for the random nutcases who have me added to their lists but i don't have added back. when i start messing with my list friday, this will be friends only. so if you aren't on my list currently, you'd better call me an asshole fast.....