(no subject)
so...things change....in an interesting and sporadic (sp?) way....hmmm. quite unexpected. but what now? where to go here? i feel that there are different options i could take...but which one is the best? or am i just screwing myself over for getting in this far? aaaahhhh....life must always be diffiult in my world. i wish that i could just know what was going to happen in the future and then i could make a much more educated decision. but unfortunately i do not feel that that is going to happen. why is it when you get what you want for some reason there are always strings attatched? b/c i feel that more effort could and should be made. one day i hope to reach pefection....a situation stringless. b/c i feel that the right situation is stringless...which would go to show why i have not been in that perfect situation b/c i am still dealing with leftover strings. but knowing this still does not help me with current events. or the fact that i torture myself. but if i had not tortured myself this long then i would not have this possible opportunity to begin with...haha i dont know if thats such a good thing though. but part of me wonders if maybe i do actually know what the hell im doing. but lets be serious here. lol, i am quite sure this is not the case. well that is enough early morning rambling for me.....i am off to bed....