i promised myself i wasnt going to cry.
wow. well this just royally sucks. so i didnt even know the mrs. duvall even had cancer until this summer. and now she's not going to be coming back to school ever again. she was such an a m a z i n g person, and its just going to be terrible on tuesday. ashley and i hope that mr. bennett has something for her when we go back. if he didnt, well, that would be just wrong. she was a part of the school, and even people who didnt know her should have to recognize that she was a very special person to a lot of us.
this year has just kind of sucked for the school. i will never go through another valentine's week, the way i used to. there will always be the thoughts of mr. harmon and mrs. simms in my mind. we lost two wonderful people in two days. and now mrs. duvall has succumbed to breast cancer. i will be wearing my pink band on monday, and i need to get one for ovarian cancer too.
i think monday i'll wear black, because its the right thing to do. its just so sad, she was always at all the plays, and concerts, and everything. she was soooooo nice to me and i know probably everyone else as well when i needed help in the office. i'll never forget the day that i was really sick and had to go home, and the nurse wasnt there, so i laid down on the couch in the office and she brought me a ginger ale from the teachers lounge and talked with me until my mom came. her name plaque was still in the office last week, i wonder if they'll keep it there. and if they'll make a plaque to go on the wall like they did for mrs. simms.
i hate death. i dont handle it well, never have, never will. first funeral i ever went to was for my granddad. i loved him so much, and i was only like 6 or 7 when he died, and i remember asking my mom why everyone was crying and where granddad was. (he was cremated). and mom couldnt stop crying long enough to tell me why. it was awful. i'm still not over tigger's death. i miss him every single day. and now harry's sick and tom wants to just put him down. what a freaking asshole, you dont take an animal's life just because you dont want to spend your money on his medicine to make him better again. we're going to have to put biffy down this fall too. but i'm already to terms with that. he's old and in a lot of pain. he's had a wonderful 14 year long life, pampered, cared for, never lacking for anything. he's not comfortable at all, and it makes me feel bad to look at him some days. he's so pitiful. its hard to think about life without him though. seeing as i cant remember life before him. if tom tries to have harry put down, there's no way i'll let him do it. harry's only 23 and that's not old for a horse. he's not that sick and tom has never had to pay for any of his other vet bills, we've always paid for them. he should just pay them and help harry get better. fucking bitch. only thinks of himself i swear. i couldnt imagine having harry put down, i've never lived here without him being in the field out back. even when we lived in the city, harry was here. it makes me so angry that he'd just take a life without even thinking about it, "oh, i'll have to pay money for it, he's old, have him put down. i dont care." grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. sometimes i really hate the man.
but i think i'm going to go get some ice cream and my pj's and maybe just lay in my bed for a while. i'm so tired of crying, of feeling sad, of everything bad that's going on right now. gotta focus on the good things...but the major good thing happens to be in pennsylvania right now. not with me. boo hoo cry about it. well, maybe i will. bitches.
i'll write soon.
kbye.
this year has just kind of sucked for the school. i will never go through another valentine's week, the way i used to. there will always be the thoughts of mr. harmon and mrs. simms in my mind. we lost two wonderful people in two days. and now mrs. duvall has succumbed to breast cancer. i will be wearing my pink band on monday, and i need to get one for ovarian cancer too.
i think monday i'll wear black, because its the right thing to do. its just so sad, she was always at all the plays, and concerts, and everything. she was soooooo nice to me and i know probably everyone else as well when i needed help in the office. i'll never forget the day that i was really sick and had to go home, and the nurse wasnt there, so i laid down on the couch in the office and she brought me a ginger ale from the teachers lounge and talked with me until my mom came. her name plaque was still in the office last week, i wonder if they'll keep it there. and if they'll make a plaque to go on the wall like they did for mrs. simms.
i hate death. i dont handle it well, never have, never will. first funeral i ever went to was for my granddad. i loved him so much, and i was only like 6 or 7 when he died, and i remember asking my mom why everyone was crying and where granddad was. (he was cremated). and mom couldnt stop crying long enough to tell me why. it was awful. i'm still not over tigger's death. i miss him every single day. and now harry's sick and tom wants to just put him down. what a freaking asshole, you dont take an animal's life just because you dont want to spend your money on his medicine to make him better again. we're going to have to put biffy down this fall too. but i'm already to terms with that. he's old and in a lot of pain. he's had a wonderful 14 year long life, pampered, cared for, never lacking for anything. he's not comfortable at all, and it makes me feel bad to look at him some days. he's so pitiful. its hard to think about life without him though. seeing as i cant remember life before him. if tom tries to have harry put down, there's no way i'll let him do it. harry's only 23 and that's not old for a horse. he's not that sick and tom has never had to pay for any of his other vet bills, we've always paid for them. he should just pay them and help harry get better. fucking bitch. only thinks of himself i swear. i couldnt imagine having harry put down, i've never lived here without him being in the field out back. even when we lived in the city, harry was here. it makes me so angry that he'd just take a life without even thinking about it, "oh, i'll have to pay money for it, he's old, have him put down. i dont care." grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. sometimes i really hate the man.
but i think i'm going to go get some ice cream and my pj's and maybe just lay in my bed for a while. i'm so tired of crying, of feeling sad, of everything bad that's going on right now. gotta focus on the good things...but the major good thing happens to be in pennsylvania right now. not with me. boo hoo cry about it. well, maybe i will. bitches.
i'll write soon.
kbye.