Response.
IT'S CALLED BEING A FRIEND, JUSTIN.
And I've tried my damndest to be a good friend to you, and yes, in cases, I've gone above and beyond what I would have done on a normal day. I was there to try to cheer you when you were afraid of being alone on your birthday; I effing opened my house to you when you were down about being unable to attend Comic Con. I've tried to cheer you when you've been in emo mode and I've tried to support you when you were in need of it. I've driven miles and stayed up late and worked very hard to be a friend to you, because I know how it feels to be abandoned and I didn’t want you to feel the same way.
BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE YOUR FRIEND.
And for what? To be attacked like this? Was my friendship not enough for you? ... Or was it simply that unimportant to you that you would treat me in such a way, through my memory to the fires simply because I can't return the depth of affection you claim to feel for me?
And THAT is another source of hurt, Justin, because I've tried DAMN HARD to prevent this scenario. I have never once encouraged you to harbor feelings toward me. As a matter of fact, I have tried to deter such emotional attachment since day one. I asked you, told you, and warned you not to try to make anything more of me than a friend. I made it perfectly clear that I could offer no more than my friendship. And I told you these things in an attempt to spare your feelings and to prevent you from hurting. I have never deceived you. I have done everything in my power to dissuade you, and you did not heed me.
For over a year now, my closest friends have warned me that you would only hurt me. They've told me time and again that it's the way you operate; you become friends with a girl and for a while everything is fine and normal, but when she can't reciprocate feelings of attraction or affection, you alienate her and paint her as a temptress, betrayer, or cold-hearted bitch to anyone who will listen. But I still maintained my friendship with you, Justin; I gave you the benefit of the doubt because I couldn't believe a friend as nice as you would hurt me like that.
I put my faith in you, Justin. Blindly, and trustingly ... and look where it's gotten me!
Slandered on your LiveJournal. Ridiculed at Disneyland. Blatant belittlement of our friendship in texts. Glares and cold shoulders and the same damn alienation that my friends warned me would come!!
And I REFUSE to take this sort of treatment from you because I DO NOT believe that it is fair.
What have I EVER DONE to you, besides treat you with respect and equality? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS SORT OF TREATMENT FROM YOU, JUSTIN? Did our friendship mean so little? Or are you simply one of those countless guys who only maintains a friendship with a girl contingent upon receiving something more? I don't need any more of that type in my life! I've been trying to systematically remove such people from my friends because they AREN'T really my friends! Because to me, friendship is unconditional; I refuse to play games with others, and in return, I expect to remain free from such game-playing myself.
I thought I knew you, Justin. I thought you were my friend. And I thought you could accept me as a friend in turn.
But I guess that I was deluded, too.
And I've tried my damndest to be a good friend to you, and yes, in cases, I've gone above and beyond what I would have done on a normal day. I was there to try to cheer you when you were afraid of being alone on your birthday; I effing opened my house to you when you were down about being unable to attend Comic Con. I've tried to cheer you when you've been in emo mode and I've tried to support you when you were in need of it. I've driven miles and stayed up late and worked very hard to be a friend to you, because I know how it feels to be abandoned and I didn’t want you to feel the same way.
BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE YOUR FRIEND.
And for what? To be attacked like this? Was my friendship not enough for you? ... Or was it simply that unimportant to you that you would treat me in such a way, through my memory to the fires simply because I can't return the depth of affection you claim to feel for me?
And THAT is another source of hurt, Justin, because I've tried DAMN HARD to prevent this scenario. I have never once encouraged you to harbor feelings toward me. As a matter of fact, I have tried to deter such emotional attachment since day one. I asked you, told you, and warned you not to try to make anything more of me than a friend. I made it perfectly clear that I could offer no more than my friendship. And I told you these things in an attempt to spare your feelings and to prevent you from hurting. I have never deceived you. I have done everything in my power to dissuade you, and you did not heed me.
For over a year now, my closest friends have warned me that you would only hurt me. They've told me time and again that it's the way you operate; you become friends with a girl and for a while everything is fine and normal, but when she can't reciprocate feelings of attraction or affection, you alienate her and paint her as a temptress, betrayer, or cold-hearted bitch to anyone who will listen. But I still maintained my friendship with you, Justin; I gave you the benefit of the doubt because I couldn't believe a friend as nice as you would hurt me like that.
I put my faith in you, Justin. Blindly, and trustingly ... and look where it's gotten me!
Slandered on your LiveJournal. Ridiculed at Disneyland. Blatant belittlement of our friendship in texts. Glares and cold shoulders and the same damn alienation that my friends warned me would come!!
And I REFUSE to take this sort of treatment from you because I DO NOT believe that it is fair.
What have I EVER DONE to you, besides treat you with respect and equality? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS SORT OF TREATMENT FROM YOU, JUSTIN? Did our friendship mean so little? Or are you simply one of those countless guys who only maintains a friendship with a girl contingent upon receiving something more? I don't need any more of that type in my life! I've been trying to systematically remove such people from my friends because they AREN'T really my friends! Because to me, friendship is unconditional; I refuse to play games with others, and in return, I expect to remain free from such game-playing myself.
I thought I knew you, Justin. I thought you were my friend. And I thought you could accept me as a friend in turn.
But I guess that I was deluded, too.