Hmmm...
I could be depressed about today, but really that would defeat the whole purpose of trying to fix what it is that upset me- vague? yes, but tough.
I think I need to find some sort of resiliency... I was told something I didn't want to hear and at this point won't readily admit it's true.
I'd rather fix it than talk about it anymore.
Anyone who really knows me sees me as somewhat of a worrier, an overanalyzer, and it is getting the best of me at this stage of my life. There have been some decent periods, days/weeks where everything feels in place. But these past couple weeks anyhow have been devoid of that sense of stability. I think that's because (and yes this is some sort of admission for the above) I do get bogged down in things that "suck". Instead of saying that something sucks and moving on, I rave for much longer than necessary. (Pretty soon I won't be able to blame it on teenage angst either)... It is more than a little messed up, now that I think about it to complain for 3 days over something trivial and then only be happy about something great for a moment, letting stupid shit overshadow it.
So here's my plan:
First and foremost, this is a habit. Habits are hard to break. So instead of trying to not complain at all, I'm going for a more realistic approach. I will try and say here (and aloud) something good about any given day as often as I can. Bringing in the good will dilute the bad, for short term, and for long term, getting myself to think like this a little at a time will slowly change my outlook overall.
While I'm here- Today's decent things were:
-I got to relax
-mi novio got his meds for his throat
-I'm almost done my X-mas shopping
-I'm thinking I'm a little glad he noticed I was being shitty with my outlook... These past few days, I've been trying to not show my stress, but I guess I haven't been hiding it well. Which is a good thing. Hiding is bad. Fixing is good. His pointing out a lapse into some of my natural bad habits, has made me acutely aware of how noticeable they are not just within me (which is bad enough) but within us.
So let's try this positivity stuff.
I think I need to find some sort of resiliency... I was told something I didn't want to hear and at this point won't readily admit it's true.
I'd rather fix it than talk about it anymore.
Anyone who really knows me sees me as somewhat of a worrier, an overanalyzer, and it is getting the best of me at this stage of my life. There have been some decent periods, days/weeks where everything feels in place. But these past couple weeks anyhow have been devoid of that sense of stability. I think that's because (and yes this is some sort of admission for the above) I do get bogged down in things that "suck". Instead of saying that something sucks and moving on, I rave for much longer than necessary. (Pretty soon I won't be able to blame it on teenage angst either)... It is more than a little messed up, now that I think about it to complain for 3 days over something trivial and then only be happy about something great for a moment, letting stupid shit overshadow it.
So here's my plan:
First and foremost, this is a habit. Habits are hard to break. So instead of trying to not complain at all, I'm going for a more realistic approach. I will try and say here (and aloud) something good about any given day as often as I can. Bringing in the good will dilute the bad, for short term, and for long term, getting myself to think like this a little at a time will slowly change my outlook overall.
While I'm here- Today's decent things were:
-I got to relax
-mi novio got his meds for his throat
-I'm almost done my X-mas shopping
-I'm thinking I'm a little glad he noticed I was being shitty with my outlook... These past few days, I've been trying to not show my stress, but I guess I haven't been hiding it well. Which is a good thing. Hiding is bad. Fixing is good. His pointing out a lapse into some of my natural bad habits, has made me acutely aware of how noticeable they are not just within me (which is bad enough) but within us.
So let's try this positivity stuff.