(no subject)
i am totally losing touch with reality. like, things are starting to blur around the edges and things don't feel the way that they're supposed to. for instance, cashmere. cashmere does NOT feel how it should feel.
i feel like i am in a stupor. i see things in my periphery and i lose track of what time it is. i've already started missing class and feeling sick and sleeping at the most inopportune times. the inside of my head is on a loop and the transition is gritty and blurry but it keeps taking me backbackback to the same frame of mind. and my mind is malframed.
i try so hard to keep all of the pieces together but i feel like i've been given corn syrup instead of super glue so even though it all congeals, it warps and melts and shifts and the cracks reappear and i'm sinking down through the viscosity.
acceptance is my fair-weather friend and repositioned vocal chords sing tunes of haunting pasts, coupled with digital ghosts and malevolent reminders that my life now is not my life then. not that i necessarily want it to be. i just know it's no longer slightly reminiscent of joshua pre-avalanche(s).
i can stare at the wall, the sky, nothing, everything and think with a desolate mind that i want to be SOMETHING, ANYTHING absolutely real again.
i feel like i am in a stupor. i see things in my periphery and i lose track of what time it is. i've already started missing class and feeling sick and sleeping at the most inopportune times. the inside of my head is on a loop and the transition is gritty and blurry but it keeps taking me backbackback to the same frame of mind. and my mind is malframed.
i try so hard to keep all of the pieces together but i feel like i've been given corn syrup instead of super glue so even though it all congeals, it warps and melts and shifts and the cracks reappear and i'm sinking down through the viscosity.
acceptance is my fair-weather friend and repositioned vocal chords sing tunes of haunting pasts, coupled with digital ghosts and malevolent reminders that my life now is not my life then. not that i necessarily want it to be. i just know it's no longer slightly reminiscent of joshua pre-avalanche(s).
i can stare at the wall, the sky, nothing, everything and think with a desolate mind that i want to be SOMETHING, ANYTHING absolutely real again.