on life, poly, and pirates.
So. firstly, life is grand. it really is. not bragging, just happy.
i have a great job. im tired from it, its a longish commute, i have to get up early, and its very hard work physically, and i love it. also, it pays a bunch, and will shortly pay more (retro pay, too!)
i have a great household, great friends, and a great crew (of pirates) all of whom have earned my love and returned it with equal vigor.
I have two wonderful ladies in my life and many others floating in and out. but those two. man.
I really do love them both very much. And both of them seem to return that feeling to some degree. both have been a great help in putting aright my mind, and i dont deserve either of them, but im not complaining. helps that they seem to like each other a great deal as well ;)
so that all said, there are niggling things that burrow in my brain, though with far less fury than usual. and one ive thought through recently has to do with one of the odd "problems" with poly i had not previously seen.
namely, letting go of things that arent going to work. for me at least, poly makes this harder, because i cannot just tell myself "that didnt work out, but this over here did, so we'll go with that!" I want it all to wrok out! it makes me a little greedy, i guess. mostly, it gives me trouble with saying something is just done and over for good. it encorages me to leave doors open. this is not always good, though mostly it is.
I think a bit of distance from certain influences is needed. this is logistically difficult, but not impossible. besides which, i have been mia for a while, so:
those of you who feel neglected! i am reversing everyones dibs on my time for a while! for the next few weeks, priority for visiting is reversed, so if you want to see me, say so, and ill do my best to make it happen! k? k.
love you all.
i have a great job. im tired from it, its a longish commute, i have to get up early, and its very hard work physically, and i love it. also, it pays a bunch, and will shortly pay more (retro pay, too!)
i have a great household, great friends, and a great crew (of pirates) all of whom have earned my love and returned it with equal vigor.
I have two wonderful ladies in my life and many others floating in and out. but those two. man.
I really do love them both very much. And both of them seem to return that feeling to some degree. both have been a great help in putting aright my mind, and i dont deserve either of them, but im not complaining. helps that they seem to like each other a great deal as well ;)
so that all said, there are niggling things that burrow in my brain, though with far less fury than usual. and one ive thought through recently has to do with one of the odd "problems" with poly i had not previously seen.
namely, letting go of things that arent going to work. for me at least, poly makes this harder, because i cannot just tell myself "that didnt work out, but this over here did, so we'll go with that!" I want it all to wrok out! it makes me a little greedy, i guess. mostly, it gives me trouble with saying something is just done and over for good. it encorages me to leave doors open. this is not always good, though mostly it is.
I think a bit of distance from certain influences is needed. this is logistically difficult, but not impossible. besides which, i have been mia for a while, so:
those of you who feel neglected! i am reversing everyones dibs on my time for a while! for the next few weeks, priority for visiting is reversed, so if you want to see me, say so, and ill do my best to make it happen! k? k.
love you all.