The Noob Scale
Alright, because we have determined it is required, myself and Jacob are creating what is known as the "Noob Scale". Here we will breakdown our top 10 noobs of the week in increasing order of noobishness. This week we talk some real life, football, and some Worlds action Without further ado, here we go.
1. Gabriel Nassif and 3 hour long matches: Congrats on Top 8'ing Worlds. Good job of losing to a topdecking fool. You are a noob simply because when you have 300 life, you still can't find a way to win the game sometimes, making your matches take FOREVER!!!
2. Christopher Pike: You make the Noob list this week for just breathing. (just kidding) Mainly, you start out 3-0 and don't make top 8, then bother me in table judging and make me throw you out. Thanks.
3. Eli Manning/Tom Coughlin/the Giants: Eli Manning, you are not as good as your brother. And when you do actually play well, your team doesn't. Also you have a noobish coach
4. The Weather: Stop being so damned cold. I mean cold is one thing, but wind + 20 degrees, not so much.
5. Polonium 210: For making cheap shots on Russian spies. Don't think you are cool or anything.
6. Detroit Red Wings: Just when people start calling you good, you drop 6 of your last 8 games. Congrats noobs.
7. Makahito Mihara: YOU ARE A TOPDECKING NOOB. Though topdecking is noobish already and there is redundancy it is worth it. You are not higher on this list because you played 18 other possibly un-noobish rounds. I guess you deserve it when you completely luck out in 4 deciding games.
8. The Lions and the Patriots: In the fourth quarter there were 3 turnovers on 4 plays. THe Patriots should have destroyed the Lions, but instead let them have an 8 point lead. Detroit obviously blew it. I think Detroit will be up here for multiple weeks.
9. The BCS/Urban Meyer/Arkansas: Congrats to the BCS on not letting the two best teams in the country play for the title. Who cares about a rematch? Just because some vagina coach (Urban Meyer comes to mind and thats all I'm going to say about him) campaigns for his team, doesn't mean they are any good. Arkansas, way to lose and not even make it a close game for us. Also, USC, you will be making the noob list on the Rose Bowl week. I promise.
10. Chris Rose: Chris, you make the noobiest of all noob sports talk guys this week. In the BCS bowl announcement show, you have redefined retardation. I hope the plane you hop on to the Bowl games crashes, so I don't have to hear you. Otherwise, go play in traffic.
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And there you have it. Tune in next week for more noob action.
1. Gabriel Nassif and 3 hour long matches: Congrats on Top 8'ing Worlds. Good job of losing to a topdecking fool. You are a noob simply because when you have 300 life, you still can't find a way to win the game sometimes, making your matches take FOREVER!!!
2. Christopher Pike: You make the Noob list this week for just breathing. (just kidding) Mainly, you start out 3-0 and don't make top 8, then bother me in table judging and make me throw you out. Thanks.
3. Eli Manning/Tom Coughlin/the Giants: Eli Manning, you are not as good as your brother. And when you do actually play well, your team doesn't. Also you have a noobish coach
4. The Weather: Stop being so damned cold. I mean cold is one thing, but wind + 20 degrees, not so much.
5. Polonium 210: For making cheap shots on Russian spies. Don't think you are cool or anything.
6. Detroit Red Wings: Just when people start calling you good, you drop 6 of your last 8 games. Congrats noobs.
7. Makahito Mihara: YOU ARE A TOPDECKING NOOB. Though topdecking is noobish already and there is redundancy it is worth it. You are not higher on this list because you played 18 other possibly un-noobish rounds. I guess you deserve it when you completely luck out in 4 deciding games.
8. The Lions and the Patriots: In the fourth quarter there were 3 turnovers on 4 plays. THe Patriots should have destroyed the Lions, but instead let them have an 8 point lead. Detroit obviously blew it. I think Detroit will be up here for multiple weeks.
9. The BCS/Urban Meyer/Arkansas: Congrats to the BCS on not letting the two best teams in the country play for the title. Who cares about a rematch? Just because some vagina coach (Urban Meyer comes to mind and thats all I'm going to say about him) campaigns for his team, doesn't mean they are any good. Arkansas, way to lose and not even make it a close game for us. Also, USC, you will be making the noob list on the Rose Bowl week. I promise.
10. Chris Rose: Chris, you make the noobiest of all noob sports talk guys this week. In the BCS bowl announcement show, you have redefined retardation. I hope the plane you hop on to the Bowl games crashes, so I don't have to hear you. Otherwise, go play in traffic.
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And there you have it. Tune in next week for more noob action.