bumpitybump
I don't have the confidence to say those three words. so small, but not minuscule in meaning.
I'm a writer.
Meeting Ruth last night, and hearing her say that, without hesitance or embarrassment made my heart pause for a moment before carrying on in its cowardly beat.
The truth is, as much as I would like to believe that I'm one, I feel otherwise. To declare what I think I am to the world, to let the words escape my body and define my existence....takes so much courage and confidence. Both which I lack sorely. I can say that I am stupid, or I'm a bimbo, or I'm superficial, because those are tags that I'm comfortable in...even if they do make my skin itch. I can admit that I've replaced my knowledge of literary terminology with designer brands, and I study shoe designs more avidly than words found in a book. But I can't tell you what's good about me.....because I think I'd cry if you tried to make me find something good about myself.
What defines a writer anyway?
Is it something that you simply are, or is it something that you become? or is it something that you believe in, but whether you actually are one is left to the opinions of outsiders? do we define ourselves, or is it the people around us who decide? is believing in anything good enough to have it come true? I want to be a rock at the bottom of a meandering river, so does that mean that I am?
*slaps fist onto palm* That's it!
The next time someone asks me what I am/do. I'll answer without fear, without qualms, and in perfect serenity.
"I'm a rock. watch me bump along."
Bliss.
I'm a writer.
Meeting Ruth last night, and hearing her say that, without hesitance or embarrassment made my heart pause for a moment before carrying on in its cowardly beat.
The truth is, as much as I would like to believe that I'm one, I feel otherwise. To declare what I think I am to the world, to let the words escape my body and define my existence....takes so much courage and confidence. Both which I lack sorely. I can say that I am stupid, or I'm a bimbo, or I'm superficial, because those are tags that I'm comfortable in...even if they do make my skin itch. I can admit that I've replaced my knowledge of literary terminology with designer brands, and I study shoe designs more avidly than words found in a book. But I can't tell you what's good about me.....because I think I'd cry if you tried to make me find something good about myself.
What defines a writer anyway?
Is it something that you simply are, or is it something that you become? or is it something that you believe in, but whether you actually are one is left to the opinions of outsiders? do we define ourselves, or is it the people around us who decide? is believing in anything good enough to have it come true? I want to be a rock at the bottom of a meandering river, so does that mean that I am?
*slaps fist onto palm* That's it!
The next time someone asks me what I am/do. I'll answer without fear, without qualms, and in perfect serenity.
"I'm a rock. watch me bump along."
Bliss.