White people are funny?
Tonight, at Barnes and Noble some black guy started laughing at me for no reason. He just looked at me once over and chuckled to himself as we got on the escalator and on our way up he says to me, "man, you are funny." I was puzzled. "i didn't even say anything. what's so funny about me?" he says, "you don't have to. white people are funny." and i didn't know a good comeback to that, quite honestly. i mumbled something like, "well, i'm also from the middle east. you may be laughing at a terrorist. next time you board a plane, watch out." it was a cheap stereotype and not a very obvious one since i was wearing a sidebag with a bandolier of buttons, one of which read "I love mullets." i'm just glad that he didn't use the comeback, "next time i'm in abu ghraib, i'll check you out." :P
I wish i could replay that conversation and say something more pointed than the weak shit i could offer. If i were feeling like Woody Allen, i might have said something self-effacing, most along the lines of, "do i seem funny to you now? you should see me when i put on a jock strap." I don't think Allen would actually say that, and since it is not very pointed what god would it do anyway? The black guy would just laugh at me a little more. White people are funny. Eh, probably.
I got bummed out today. Even prior to the Barnes and Noble incident, i was complaining to Henry about not thinking clearly and being all out of sorts. Henry and I were supposed to meet for a cup of chai at Mudspot in the village. On my way there, i was passing by Astor Place and saw this jazz band that had put on an astonishing number. The soloist was an old black guy, short and paunchy, with a white puff of hair and a gravelly voice like Louis Armstrong's. The trombonist looked like an extra from a medieval film, a white guy with long shaggy hair; he sported a stylish grey fedora and his trombone was hanging from a dirty bandana tied around his neck. With his free hand, he played a digital organ. The other white guy on the band called himself "Bad Billy from the Bronx" played the guitar, and he wore a clean black fedora, a dark suit with shoulder pads, and polished shoes, also black. Shortly after i arrived, they were joined by a black dude in dreadlocks and Neo shades, like he had just jumped out of Matrix 2; he played the tub--which is a bass-like instrument that consists of a string, a stick and a tub. I watched them for an hour or more, and called Henry to meet me there. But by the time Henry arrived, i was feeling kinda odd, like i had spent all my energy admiring that awesome music.
What do two guys talk over chai? "Lord of the Rings is a good movie but it would have been better if they had cut out those parts with hobbits and just left in the battle scenes." Henry suggested and i halfheartedly agreed that the porno version, which i barely knew about from the short bits caught on Showtime, was much, much better: "Lord of the G-strings." The idea there is that three female hobbits are entrusted with the g-string of power, which must be destroyed. Needless to say, they have wild adventures getting the g-string to the eye mountain. There are some interesting interpretations of the character as well. For example, Gandalf is a drunkard. "How do they know about the existence of the g-string, Gandalf? I thought it was a secret." Gandalf: "Oh that, i got drunk at the tavern the ther night and blabbed it to a few people. I apologize." But the g-string itself is just a big nothing. It makes its wearer a nymphomaniac. I mean, that is not a remarkable g-string, especially for hobbits, who are known to have large hairy feet.
So anyway, despite this lively conversation, i was still bummed out by the time i got to the Barnes and Noble and didnt have a comeback ready for the black dude who thought i looked funny.
I wish i could replay that conversation and say something more pointed than the weak shit i could offer. If i were feeling like Woody Allen, i might have said something self-effacing, most along the lines of, "do i seem funny to you now? you should see me when i put on a jock strap." I don't think Allen would actually say that, and since it is not very pointed what god would it do anyway? The black guy would just laugh at me a little more. White people are funny. Eh, probably.
I got bummed out today. Even prior to the Barnes and Noble incident, i was complaining to Henry about not thinking clearly and being all out of sorts. Henry and I were supposed to meet for a cup of chai at Mudspot in the village. On my way there, i was passing by Astor Place and saw this jazz band that had put on an astonishing number. The soloist was an old black guy, short and paunchy, with a white puff of hair and a gravelly voice like Louis Armstrong's. The trombonist looked like an extra from a medieval film, a white guy with long shaggy hair; he sported a stylish grey fedora and his trombone was hanging from a dirty bandana tied around his neck. With his free hand, he played a digital organ. The other white guy on the band called himself "Bad Billy from the Bronx" played the guitar, and he wore a clean black fedora, a dark suit with shoulder pads, and polished shoes, also black. Shortly after i arrived, they were joined by a black dude in dreadlocks and Neo shades, like he had just jumped out of Matrix 2; he played the tub--which is a bass-like instrument that consists of a string, a stick and a tub. I watched them for an hour or more, and called Henry to meet me there. But by the time Henry arrived, i was feeling kinda odd, like i had spent all my energy admiring that awesome music.
What do two guys talk over chai? "Lord of the Rings is a good movie but it would have been better if they had cut out those parts with hobbits and just left in the battle scenes." Henry suggested and i halfheartedly agreed that the porno version, which i barely knew about from the short bits caught on Showtime, was much, much better: "Lord of the G-strings." The idea there is that three female hobbits are entrusted with the g-string of power, which must be destroyed. Needless to say, they have wild adventures getting the g-string to the eye mountain. There are some interesting interpretations of the character as well. For example, Gandalf is a drunkard. "How do they know about the existence of the g-string, Gandalf? I thought it was a secret." Gandalf: "Oh that, i got drunk at the tavern the ther night and blabbed it to a few people. I apologize." But the g-string itself is just a big nothing. It makes its wearer a nymphomaniac. I mean, that is not a remarkable g-string, especially for hobbits, who are known to have large hairy feet.
So anyway, despite this lively conversation, i was still bummed out by the time i got to the Barnes and Noble and didnt have a comeback ready for the black dude who thought i looked funny.