(no subject)
Lately I have become interested in those who have eating disorders.
While I do not envy them in any way, except maybe their thinness, I am entralled with the fact that these guys and girls can possibly live on only 200 calories a day while they work off 700 during exercise. I alone eat 215 calories a day just for breakfast, which includes a bowl of cereal, half a cup of skim milk and a small apple. I then go to the gym for anywhere from an hour to two and burn anywhere from 400-700 calories a day working out. I then come back and eat more, ususally topping off my day at 1200 to 1300 calories. Anyone with an eating disorder who was to read that would think of me as crazy, especially if I am working so hard to burn as many calories as they do, why would I go and mess it up by eating more? Because I like food. I love food. I, like those with e.d., have days where I binge and just shovel food in. I worry constantly about my weight. I would love to see my ribs more than I can now. I see them on my sides but they aren't promenant and if I move ever so right on my chest. I can trace my rib cage outline. I am no way overweight and in my opinion I could bear to lose twenty more pounds but I am coming to the acceptance that I, currently at 144-142 pounds(depending on the day), am starting to become happy with the size I am. I am not obese, over weight, have no rolls, and get compliments in a bikini, so I can't really complain. It currently beats the 175 I weighed little over a year ago. And while I see models and those thin girls who can eat everything and never gain a pound, I could never have a eating disorder. I began to develop one around the age of six and then again at eight but both times doctors and parents were quick to stop it. When I had those bouts with it, I was in the worst pain of my life. So While I would love to be Victoria Beckham skinny, I am more than happy to put up with the heavy weight of 144 and some flabby parts instead of having to spend my days doubled over from hunger pangs. But If you can manage it, then kudos to you, I can guarantee that you look better than I do and most definitely have stronger will power than I do.
While I do not envy them in any way, except maybe their thinness, I am entralled with the fact that these guys and girls can possibly live on only 200 calories a day while they work off 700 during exercise. I alone eat 215 calories a day just for breakfast, which includes a bowl of cereal, half a cup of skim milk and a small apple. I then go to the gym for anywhere from an hour to two and burn anywhere from 400-700 calories a day working out. I then come back and eat more, ususally topping off my day at 1200 to 1300 calories. Anyone with an eating disorder who was to read that would think of me as crazy, especially if I am working so hard to burn as many calories as they do, why would I go and mess it up by eating more? Because I like food. I love food. I, like those with e.d., have days where I binge and just shovel food in. I worry constantly about my weight. I would love to see my ribs more than I can now. I see them on my sides but they aren't promenant and if I move ever so right on my chest. I can trace my rib cage outline. I am no way overweight and in my opinion I could bear to lose twenty more pounds but I am coming to the acceptance that I, currently at 144-142 pounds(depending on the day), am starting to become happy with the size I am. I am not obese, over weight, have no rolls, and get compliments in a bikini, so I can't really complain. It currently beats the 175 I weighed little over a year ago. And while I see models and those thin girls who can eat everything and never gain a pound, I could never have a eating disorder. I began to develop one around the age of six and then again at eight but both times doctors and parents were quick to stop it. When I had those bouts with it, I was in the worst pain of my life. So While I would love to be Victoria Beckham skinny, I am more than happy to put up with the heavy weight of 144 and some flabby parts instead of having to spend my days doubled over from hunger pangs. But If you can manage it, then kudos to you, I can guarantee that you look better than I do and most definitely have stronger will power than I do.