Fic: Twist in My Reality p7/7 Tw/H2G2 xover (links to all parts)
Title: Twist in My Reality
Author: Aeron Lanart
Genre: Torchwood/H2G2 crossover
Pairing: Jack, Ianto
Rating: G.
Warnings and spoilers: It's silly. No spoilers.
Summary: Ianto and Jack end up somewhere rather interesting...
Disclaimer: Anyone/Anything you recognise is not mine. Belong to aunty beeb and Douglas Adams.
No copyright infringement intended, no profit made.
A/N: It's done! this fic was started in December as my 42nd piece of fic ever, but I kind of lost my way. I have to admit I'm not entirely happy with how I've finished it, but I just needed it to be done. Hope you've enjoyed my first foray into a fandom I've loved for years. You never know, there might be more from Arthur and the team at a later date.
And if you need to refresh your memory, here are links to the other parts.
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part 7
The scones and the second pot of tea were just a memory, and Ianto had managed to relax into enjoying Arthur’s company properly, when the door to the room exploded inwards. Ianto tried not to grin at Arthur’s long suffering sigh.
“You always have to make an entrance, don’t you? If you’re here, I suppose you’ve come to steal Ianto back.”
“Hope you don’t mind.”
“Wouldn’t matter if I did, I can’t keep either of you here.” Arthur leaned back in his seat with a wave of his hand. “And anyway, what excuse would I have to visit you and go to Cardiff Castle for tea if Ianto stayed?”
“Cardiff Castle? Tea?” Jack’s glare was met with an open and guileless smile from Ianto.
“It’s the best afternoon tea in Cardiff. I thought Arthur would appreciate it, so I gave him an open invite. That’s not a problem is it?” Ianto thought that Jack didn’t look best pleased about the idea, and breathed a silent sigh of relief when his expression cleared into a more normal Jack-like expression of amiability.
“No... no, of course not. It would be good to see you again, Arthur; away from...here.” Ianto swallowed another grin at Jack’s expression and the mis-done up buttons on his shirt. Having 3 arms obviously wasn’t always an advantage. Jack turned to grab his coat from the stand by the door.
“How was the Hallelujah chorus, sir?” Ianto asked innocently, Jack looked back at him, then grinned.
“Very... rousing. Now, are you ready to go home, Ianto?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
Arthur accompanied them back to the bridge, chattering about various things, but managing to explain that his own beacon could be programmed with any co-ordinates so he would be able to find his way back to them with no problems. Jack clapped him on the shoulder.
“I’ll let Ianto sort that one out with you before you come back here, I don’t think you want to be popping in out of nowhere into the middle of The Hub; someone might get the wrong idea.” Arthur visibly blanched; he’d had a few of those experiences already in his life and was not in a hurry to gain any more. Jack might only be teasing, but he did have a point. They reached the bridge with no interruptions from doors, Marvin or anything else to find that it was empty except for Trillian. She smiled brightly at them.
“I can put you down in almost exactly the same place as we picked you up; I think we can assume that no-one else has touched the beacon since you arrived as we’ve not had any other visitors. There will be a time lapse as you’ve been with us for just over a shipboard hour, but I’m not sure how that will translate into your time. You’ll be back the same day at least, that I can guarantee. Arthur will be picked up as soon as he signals he’s ready.”
“Thanks Trillian, you’re as efficient as ever.”
“And you’re just as incorrigible, Jack.” He smiled and tipped her a wink.
“I try my best.”
“Hmph. Now if you’d all just stand over there...” She indicated an unremarkable section of floor. The three men shuffled over to the spot. She glanced at them appraisingly, and then nodded. “Just one thing before you leave... would it be possible to destroy the files Torchwood hold on me?” Jack glanced at Ianto, Ianto shrugged.
“They probably already have been as they were part of the Torchwood One archive. If I do find them, I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thank you. And now, if you wouldn’t mind...” They shifted a little closer together, only to find themselves surrounded by a frenetic whirl of sparkles that suddenly seemed to implode on them, leaving their vision clouded by the sudden loss of brightness.
As their vision cleared Ianto realised they were exactly where they’d left, just as Trillian promised. He stepped carefully away from the table that contained the innocuous looking artefact that had sent them to the Heart of Gold. Arthur stepped closer.
“Yes, that’s definitely our missing beacon.” He reached out and flicked a near-invisible switch on the side before stowing it in his satchel, then he looked around himself. “It’s not very impressive in here.”
“That’s because you’re in the basement.” Jack said with a grin. “This is the archives and Ianto’s domain. If it looked impressive he’d never get any peace, would you Ianto?”
“None at all. This way, I also manage to exert a degree of control over how unknown artefacts are catalogued and documented. Even so, it obviously doesn’t always go quite according to plan.”
“Obviously,” replied Arthur dryly. “So, can I have a guided tour?”
“Let me check where the others are first, don’t want any awkward questions, do we?” Jack moved over to the computer terminal and tapped away at the keyboard for a few minutes. “They’ve all gone home except Tosh, and she’s just leaving so I guess you can have your guided tour after all. I’ll leave you in Ianto’s capable hands, I have work I should have been doing for the last hour, unfortunately. It’s been good to see you again Arthur, don’t leave it too long before you come back to visit.” Jack gave Arthur a parting hug and strode out of the room, footsteps echoing weirdly along the corridor.
“I can’t give you a proper cup of tea, Arthur, but I do have the wherewithal for a damn fine cup of coffee if you’re interested?”
“I think I can live with damn fine coffee; lead on, Ianto.”
Ianto enjoyed showing Arthur around the Hub, he seemed to be genuinely fascinated by what he was shown, despite him having become used to travelling the stars in an impossible ship. He also loved Myfanwy at first sight.
“I suppose a time-displaced Pterosaur is kind of old hat compared with 3 armed aliens and impossible space ships,” Ianto commented with a smile.
“You’re just jealous because she likes me,” said Arthur, giving her head a scratch as she butted against his hand.
“You’ll have to come back to visit her, now or she’ll pine for you.”
“I’d love to see her again. She’s a lot better looking than some people I’ve met.” Myfanwy preened under the attention. “See, you know I’m talking about you, don’t you, my gorgeous girl.”
Eventually, Ianto led Arthur up to the Tourist Information centre. He gestured around the small shop with a grin.
“This is the other part of my domain, and the best place for you to drop in if you’re coming to visit though I’d suggest you arrive in the office rather than out here. Wouldn’t want you scaring the tourists, now, would we?”
“You mean you actually *get* tourists in here?” Arthur looked around himself, gaping incredulously.
“A few. They’re usually lost.” Ianto grinned “Especially the ones who don’t come from this planet. They get special treatment though, and free travel advice.” Arthur chuckled.
“I just bet they do.” He looked wistfully at the front door, and then at what passed for a watch on his wrist. “I suppose I should be getting back, don’t want to keep Trillian hanging around waiting.”
“God forbid. You’d never hear the last of it, and she might not let you visit.” Ianto was under no illusion as to who really ran the Heart of Gold. “Still, the weather’s not been good today so if you did go outside you’d only get wet and Cardiff rain has a way of seeping into everything. Check the weather forecast and come back on a good day. I’ll give you a guided tour *outside* then.”
“I’ll look forward to it; and tea.”
“Oh I’m not going to let you forget that!” Ianto stepped around the desk and held the bead curtain aside for Arthur. The back office was bigger than it looked, and there was more than enough room for them both, even with Ianto giving Arthur plenty of space so he didn’t get transported back with him onto the Heart of Gold by mistake. It was a fascinating ship with even more fascinating people, but Ianto felt the need to stick with the familiar weirdness of Torchwood for a little while; he was convinced he was going to be dreaming about 3 armed androids singing the hallelujah chorus as it was. He watched Arthur dig around in his satchel for a moment, then moved over to the desk, scribbling a number on a piece of paper; he put it in Arthur’s hand and took a step back.
“What’s this?” Asked Arthur, staring at the paper in his hand.
“My mobile number in case you want to get in touch in a more conventional way. You never know, it might come in handy.”
“It might at that. Stranger things...” Ianto watched as Arthur secreted the paper away somewhere on his person before he pulled out the improbability beacon from his satchel. He pressed on a few hitherto unnoticed buttons and grinned. “That’s it; this place is now in my address book. I can drop in any time.”
“Great. And I meant what I said about checking the weather.”
“I will, don’t worry. I remember what English weather was like.” He reached out to shake Ianto’s hand. “It’s been so good to chat to someone who appreciates the finer points of an afternoon tea. I hadn’t realised how much I’d missed it.”
“Just wait until you go to the castle with me, you won’t know what’s hit you.”
“I can hardly wait. Goodbye Ianto.” They stepped away from each other as Arthur pressed another button on the beacon.
“’Bye Arthur. See you soon?”
“Definitely.” Arthur disappeared with a slight woosh of air and an explosion of purple sparkles, leaving Ianto alone once more in his office. He smiled to himself as he made his way back out to the tourist office, he was looking forward to meeting Arthur Dent again and getting to know him a little better. No doubt they’d find their afternoon tea interrupted by a weevil picnic or some other such piece of Cardiff strangeness, but at least it would be easier to deal with than an improbable space ship, a three armed alien and singing doors. Torchwood had never seemed so normal.
Author: Aeron Lanart
Genre: Torchwood/H2G2 crossover
Pairing: Jack, Ianto
Rating: G.
Warnings and spoilers: It's silly. No spoilers.
Summary: Ianto and Jack end up somewhere rather interesting...
Disclaimer: Anyone/Anything you recognise is not mine. Belong to aunty beeb and Douglas Adams.
No copyright infringement intended, no profit made.
A/N: It's done! this fic was started in December as my 42nd piece of fic ever, but I kind of lost my way. I have to admit I'm not entirely happy with how I've finished it, but I just needed it to be done. Hope you've enjoyed my first foray into a fandom I've loved for years. You never know, there might be more from Arthur and the team at a later date.
And if you need to refresh your memory, here are links to the other parts.
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part 7
The scones and the second pot of tea were just a memory, and Ianto had managed to relax into enjoying Arthur’s company properly, when the door to the room exploded inwards. Ianto tried not to grin at Arthur’s long suffering sigh.
“You always have to make an entrance, don’t you? If you’re here, I suppose you’ve come to steal Ianto back.”
“Hope you don’t mind.”
“Wouldn’t matter if I did, I can’t keep either of you here.” Arthur leaned back in his seat with a wave of his hand. “And anyway, what excuse would I have to visit you and go to Cardiff Castle for tea if Ianto stayed?”
“Cardiff Castle? Tea?” Jack’s glare was met with an open and guileless smile from Ianto.
“It’s the best afternoon tea in Cardiff. I thought Arthur would appreciate it, so I gave him an open invite. That’s not a problem is it?” Ianto thought that Jack didn’t look best pleased about the idea, and breathed a silent sigh of relief when his expression cleared into a more normal Jack-like expression of amiability.
“No... no, of course not. It would be good to see you again, Arthur; away from...here.” Ianto swallowed another grin at Jack’s expression and the mis-done up buttons on his shirt. Having 3 arms obviously wasn’t always an advantage. Jack turned to grab his coat from the stand by the door.
“How was the Hallelujah chorus, sir?” Ianto asked innocently, Jack looked back at him, then grinned.
“Very... rousing. Now, are you ready to go home, Ianto?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
Arthur accompanied them back to the bridge, chattering about various things, but managing to explain that his own beacon could be programmed with any co-ordinates so he would be able to find his way back to them with no problems. Jack clapped him on the shoulder.
“I’ll let Ianto sort that one out with you before you come back here, I don’t think you want to be popping in out of nowhere into the middle of The Hub; someone might get the wrong idea.” Arthur visibly blanched; he’d had a few of those experiences already in his life and was not in a hurry to gain any more. Jack might only be teasing, but he did have a point. They reached the bridge with no interruptions from doors, Marvin or anything else to find that it was empty except for Trillian. She smiled brightly at them.
“I can put you down in almost exactly the same place as we picked you up; I think we can assume that no-one else has touched the beacon since you arrived as we’ve not had any other visitors. There will be a time lapse as you’ve been with us for just over a shipboard hour, but I’m not sure how that will translate into your time. You’ll be back the same day at least, that I can guarantee. Arthur will be picked up as soon as he signals he’s ready.”
“Thanks Trillian, you’re as efficient as ever.”
“And you’re just as incorrigible, Jack.” He smiled and tipped her a wink.
“I try my best.”
“Hmph. Now if you’d all just stand over there...” She indicated an unremarkable section of floor. The three men shuffled over to the spot. She glanced at them appraisingly, and then nodded. “Just one thing before you leave... would it be possible to destroy the files Torchwood hold on me?” Jack glanced at Ianto, Ianto shrugged.
“They probably already have been as they were part of the Torchwood One archive. If I do find them, I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thank you. And now, if you wouldn’t mind...” They shifted a little closer together, only to find themselves surrounded by a frenetic whirl of sparkles that suddenly seemed to implode on them, leaving their vision clouded by the sudden loss of brightness.
As their vision cleared Ianto realised they were exactly where they’d left, just as Trillian promised. He stepped carefully away from the table that contained the innocuous looking artefact that had sent them to the Heart of Gold. Arthur stepped closer.
“Yes, that’s definitely our missing beacon.” He reached out and flicked a near-invisible switch on the side before stowing it in his satchel, then he looked around himself. “It’s not very impressive in here.”
“That’s because you’re in the basement.” Jack said with a grin. “This is the archives and Ianto’s domain. If it looked impressive he’d never get any peace, would you Ianto?”
“None at all. This way, I also manage to exert a degree of control over how unknown artefacts are catalogued and documented. Even so, it obviously doesn’t always go quite according to plan.”
“Obviously,” replied Arthur dryly. “So, can I have a guided tour?”
“Let me check where the others are first, don’t want any awkward questions, do we?” Jack moved over to the computer terminal and tapped away at the keyboard for a few minutes. “They’ve all gone home except Tosh, and she’s just leaving so I guess you can have your guided tour after all. I’ll leave you in Ianto’s capable hands, I have work I should have been doing for the last hour, unfortunately. It’s been good to see you again Arthur, don’t leave it too long before you come back to visit.” Jack gave Arthur a parting hug and strode out of the room, footsteps echoing weirdly along the corridor.
“I can’t give you a proper cup of tea, Arthur, but I do have the wherewithal for a damn fine cup of coffee if you’re interested?”
“I think I can live with damn fine coffee; lead on, Ianto.”
Ianto enjoyed showing Arthur around the Hub, he seemed to be genuinely fascinated by what he was shown, despite him having become used to travelling the stars in an impossible ship. He also loved Myfanwy at first sight.
“I suppose a time-displaced Pterosaur is kind of old hat compared with 3 armed aliens and impossible space ships,” Ianto commented with a smile.
“You’re just jealous because she likes me,” said Arthur, giving her head a scratch as she butted against his hand.
“You’ll have to come back to visit her, now or she’ll pine for you.”
“I’d love to see her again. She’s a lot better looking than some people I’ve met.” Myfanwy preened under the attention. “See, you know I’m talking about you, don’t you, my gorgeous girl.”
Eventually, Ianto led Arthur up to the Tourist Information centre. He gestured around the small shop with a grin.
“This is the other part of my domain, and the best place for you to drop in if you’re coming to visit though I’d suggest you arrive in the office rather than out here. Wouldn’t want you scaring the tourists, now, would we?”
“You mean you actually *get* tourists in here?” Arthur looked around himself, gaping incredulously.
“A few. They’re usually lost.” Ianto grinned “Especially the ones who don’t come from this planet. They get special treatment though, and free travel advice.” Arthur chuckled.
“I just bet they do.” He looked wistfully at the front door, and then at what passed for a watch on his wrist. “I suppose I should be getting back, don’t want to keep Trillian hanging around waiting.”
“God forbid. You’d never hear the last of it, and she might not let you visit.” Ianto was under no illusion as to who really ran the Heart of Gold. “Still, the weather’s not been good today so if you did go outside you’d only get wet and Cardiff rain has a way of seeping into everything. Check the weather forecast and come back on a good day. I’ll give you a guided tour *outside* then.”
“I’ll look forward to it; and tea.”
“Oh I’m not going to let you forget that!” Ianto stepped around the desk and held the bead curtain aside for Arthur. The back office was bigger than it looked, and there was more than enough room for them both, even with Ianto giving Arthur plenty of space so he didn’t get transported back with him onto the Heart of Gold by mistake. It was a fascinating ship with even more fascinating people, but Ianto felt the need to stick with the familiar weirdness of Torchwood for a little while; he was convinced he was going to be dreaming about 3 armed androids singing the hallelujah chorus as it was. He watched Arthur dig around in his satchel for a moment, then moved over to the desk, scribbling a number on a piece of paper; he put it in Arthur’s hand and took a step back.
“What’s this?” Asked Arthur, staring at the paper in his hand.
“My mobile number in case you want to get in touch in a more conventional way. You never know, it might come in handy.”
“It might at that. Stranger things...” Ianto watched as Arthur secreted the paper away somewhere on his person before he pulled out the improbability beacon from his satchel. He pressed on a few hitherto unnoticed buttons and grinned. “That’s it; this place is now in my address book. I can drop in any time.”
“Great. And I meant what I said about checking the weather.”
“I will, don’t worry. I remember what English weather was like.” He reached out to shake Ianto’s hand. “It’s been so good to chat to someone who appreciates the finer points of an afternoon tea. I hadn’t realised how much I’d missed it.”
“Just wait until you go to the castle with me, you won’t know what’s hit you.”
“I can hardly wait. Goodbye Ianto.” They stepped away from each other as Arthur pressed another button on the beacon.
“’Bye Arthur. See you soon?”
“Definitely.” Arthur disappeared with a slight woosh of air and an explosion of purple sparkles, leaving Ianto alone once more in his office. He smiled to himself as he made his way back out to the tourist office, he was looking forward to meeting Arthur Dent again and getting to know him a little better. No doubt they’d find their afternoon tea interrupted by a weevil picnic or some other such piece of Cardiff strangeness, but at least it would be easier to deal with than an improbable space ship, a three armed alien and singing doors. Torchwood had never seemed so normal.