The sun really has come out at last
It's been a lovely day for me.
Languishing on my new comfortable mattress, I woke up to a phone call from an ex-colleague. She missed me and was feeling rather miserable. We talked and it was good to hear her voice.
Attempted to do some housecleaning - a mission that failed as I found my new bed far more enticing. Had a few funky dreams but otherwise, it was a good day.
I've been feeling happy lately and it's not just the sex. I was happy before it, since Friday, for no good reason. I was just happy to be happy. Calm. Unworried. Unstressed. I felt taken care of. At peace.
Then as evening came, I got an offer letter in my email. I'll be working for the alternative (read: non mainstream media). It's exciting. It's scary. I can't wait.
With my f-buddy, it's a bit more complicated than I'd like. Beautiful boy but, still, a boy. It's supposed to be simple and uncomplicated but his friends think I'll break his heart. As if I would want to. He doesn't want a relationship. He just wants comfort and carnality. Which I can give.
As you know, I do want someone to love. To care for. To eventually settle down with and raise a holy terror or two with. But I haven't found that someone yet. It's brought me down sometimes but now, I'm trying to deal with that need by loving the people I'm with more. Being a better friend, colleague, worker, neighbour, sister. Writing. Singing. Emoting. I burn so much but I don't want to be consumed by that burning.
I'm happier now so I guess it's working.
Joy sometimes can come unexpectedly. I'm embracing it now.
Languishing on my new comfortable mattress, I woke up to a phone call from an ex-colleague. She missed me and was feeling rather miserable. We talked and it was good to hear her voice.
Attempted to do some housecleaning - a mission that failed as I found my new bed far more enticing. Had a few funky dreams but otherwise, it was a good day.
I've been feeling happy lately and it's not just the sex. I was happy before it, since Friday, for no good reason. I was just happy to be happy. Calm. Unworried. Unstressed. I felt taken care of. At peace.
Then as evening came, I got an offer letter in my email. I'll be working for the alternative (read: non mainstream media). It's exciting. It's scary. I can't wait.
With my f-buddy, it's a bit more complicated than I'd like. Beautiful boy but, still, a boy. It's supposed to be simple and uncomplicated but his friends think I'll break his heart. As if I would want to. He doesn't want a relationship. He just wants comfort and carnality. Which I can give.
As you know, I do want someone to love. To care for. To eventually settle down with and raise a holy terror or two with. But I haven't found that someone yet. It's brought me down sometimes but now, I'm trying to deal with that need by loving the people I'm with more. Being a better friend, colleague, worker, neighbour, sister. Writing. Singing. Emoting. I burn so much but I don't want to be consumed by that burning.
I'm happier now so I guess it's working.
Joy sometimes can come unexpectedly. I'm embracing it now.