SPN: After the War {Sam/Castiel R}
Title: After the War
Author: aerithqoc
Rating: R
Spoilers: Up until 5x22.
Warnings: m/m, non-graphic sex, h/c, cheesiness.
Word Count: 1200
Disclaimer: None of the people, places or things mentioned in this fic belong to me.
Summary: Castiel returns to the battlefield one last time. Not to fight but to forget.
A/N: I’m not sure where this one came from, a need to write some angsty and cheesy romantic Sassy after watching Swan Song again I guess. :)
Title is from the song of the same name by Paul Gross. Beautiful song.
~ * ~ * ~
It was the night before the night before Sam was due to make his plunge into Hell.
Castiel had no doubts in his mind that the night just before his fall, Sam needed to stay by his brother’s side and speak of things only they should ever know and understand. Castiel understood it, he encouraged it.
So, it was the night before his last night on earth that he came to Castiel, as per their agreement. It wasn’t exactly romantic and spontaneous and screaming of fairytale romance or anything like that but when Sam walked into the room and immediately grasped his smaller hand tightly in his giant paw, Cas couldn’t fully hold back the flash of joy in his heartbroken eyes.
“Cas...”
“Sam.”
Sam huffed a laugh and pulled him close, tucking the angel’s face into his neck but keeping their hands tightly joined. Castiel inhaled deeply the familiar scent of Sam that had given him so much comfort so often, especially lately with his shaky introduction to his newfound humanity.
Not surprising how quickly it had escalated into something more between them.
His arm wrapped around Sam’s back, fingers splayed across tight, strong muscles. Muscles that would soon no longer belong to him. There would no longer be comfort from that scent. It would all be... his soon.
“You are going to die, Sam.”
Sam blinked a little at the plainly stated words, even now Castiel still couldn’t understand subtly. Sam was actually a little glad about that.
“Yeah... I am.”
“I... do not want you to go. I know that it is selfish of me when there’s so much at stake... but I find it hard to care when it means you’re going to be gone.”
Sam held him closer. “That’s a very human thing, Cas. Don’t worry about it.”
“Don’t worry?” Castiel pulled his head back and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he stared up into Sam’s hazel eyes. “You are going to Hell and you want me not to worry about it?”
Sam shook his head. “What I mean is that you’ll eventually be able to move on, and it’ll be better.”
“Move on?” Castiel tilted his head as he thought about that. “I do not like that either.”
“Cas... it’s alright you know. It’s alright to move on.”
“I do not want to move on.” Cas closed his eyes, his mind focused on memories of vivid smiles and hot touches and soothing words; the only things that kept him from pulling out a damn gun and blowing himself away with the sheer madness of the world he had now fallen into.
Sam sighed, easily seeing through him, and gave a smile so sad that Cas could have sworn Dean could feel it from the other side of the house. “I don’t want anyone to linger on my memory. I’ve told Dean to move on, and now I’m telling you.”
“But I’ve liked this.” The angel muttered in a slightly small voice. “I don’t want to forget.”
“Castiel I-”
“No, Sam. I will not forget you. Do not ask me to forget you, because I refuse.”
Sam’s mouth twitched a little, unsure which direction to fall into. Then he simply nodded.
“Well okay...” He said with a small but somewhat content breath. “But if you have to remember anything about me, just ... just... let it be...”
Castiel knew the kiss was coming but the power, the flurry of emotion and need within that kiss was breaking him and they clutched tightly onto each other, fingers digging through jackets and shirts.
“Cas...” His name was moaned across his lips as Sam’s hands fell lower.
Castiel blinked slowly, his coat and tie and shirt fell to the floor in a slow motion blur and joined Sam’s clothes on the floor.
It was Sam who smiled first and cupped his face, but it was the angel who had pushed the distance forward first.
Lips touched again, soft and tender kisses turning rushed and desperate so quickly and the rest of their clothing was lost along the way.
Bodies fell onto the bed, slick with sweat and need and heartbreak as they writhed against one another. And then with one another.
Lips touched, hands wandered, hips thrust.
They groaned each other’s name like a prayer as they moved as one, joint and thrusting and groaning and moaning and clawing and coming with cries neither could hear any longer through their blind lust.
They fell in a heap upon each other, one final kiss before reality rushed at them again. Then it was Castiel cradling Sam, it was Sam burying his nose into Cas’s neck and inhaling that sweet scent and wrapping his arms around Cas’ lower back.
“If it’s any consolation, I don’t want to go either.”
That one honest phrase had Cas falling to pieces but all he gave was a brief dip of his head as he rubbed Sam’s naked back once more.
For it wouldn’t matter what Sam wanted. In the end, if the world needed him to do this, then Sam would do it in a heartbeat. The needs of the many and all that.
It didn’t make it hurt any less though.
~ * ~ * ~
And so, it was the day after the day after the day the world didn’t end.
Castiel stood on the once battlefield alone.
The ground is not scorched. The earth is not upturned. Trees still stand strong and untroubled.
Not a single thing is different to the naked eye. But there is something different.
Castiel’s hand rests over that spot on the ground, feeling the residual thrum of energy recoiling from that spot; the spot where Sam Winchester had made a final leap of faith with Lucifer and Michael in tow.
He could almost feel the pain seeping from the no longer existent wound in the world, could almost feel from the depths of time the roars of agony of the man he once- no, he still adored oh so very much.
“Cas... it’s alright you know. It’s alright to move on.”
His hand finally curled into the ground and ripped into grass and soil and roots.
“I don’t want anyone to linger on my memory. I’ve told Dean to move on, and now I’m telling you.”
His hands closed against the cold air that he could no longer truly feel.
“... if you have to remember anything about me...”
Castiel inhaled deeply, smelling the dirt and the dusty air but he didn’t appreciate it.
“Just... let it...”
The fingers of his other hand touched his lips, felt the burn still whisper across them.
“Just let it be...”
“No.”
Castiel’s hand released its death grip on the planet and he rose to his full height, bits of dirt falling from his fingers forever.
He shook his head, fingers still tickling his lips and he reluctantly pulled them away.
Sam Winchester was gone now. He was trapped in the lowest levels of Hell, in the Cage locked away so deep no angel could reach.
The first blob of rain fell on his cheek and trickled down to his chin. The second hit the ground long after Castiel had vanished.
“How could I ever forget you, Sam?”
~ * ~ * ~
Author: aerithqoc
Rating: R
Spoilers: Up until 5x22.
Warnings: m/m, non-graphic sex, h/c, cheesiness.
Word Count: 1200
Disclaimer: None of the people, places or things mentioned in this fic belong to me.
Summary: Castiel returns to the battlefield one last time. Not to fight but to forget.
A/N: I’m not sure where this one came from, a need to write some angsty and cheesy romantic Sassy after watching Swan Song again I guess. :)
Title is from the song of the same name by Paul Gross. Beautiful song.
~ * ~ * ~
It was the night before the night before Sam was due to make his plunge into Hell.
Castiel had no doubts in his mind that the night just before his fall, Sam needed to stay by his brother’s side and speak of things only they should ever know and understand. Castiel understood it, he encouraged it.
So, it was the night before his last night on earth that he came to Castiel, as per their agreement. It wasn’t exactly romantic and spontaneous and screaming of fairytale romance or anything like that but when Sam walked into the room and immediately grasped his smaller hand tightly in his giant paw, Cas couldn’t fully hold back the flash of joy in his heartbroken eyes.
“Cas...”
“Sam.”
Sam huffed a laugh and pulled him close, tucking the angel’s face into his neck but keeping their hands tightly joined. Castiel inhaled deeply the familiar scent of Sam that had given him so much comfort so often, especially lately with his shaky introduction to his newfound humanity.
Not surprising how quickly it had escalated into something more between them.
His arm wrapped around Sam’s back, fingers splayed across tight, strong muscles. Muscles that would soon no longer belong to him. There would no longer be comfort from that scent. It would all be... his soon.
“You are going to die, Sam.”
Sam blinked a little at the plainly stated words, even now Castiel still couldn’t understand subtly. Sam was actually a little glad about that.
“Yeah... I am.”
“I... do not want you to go. I know that it is selfish of me when there’s so much at stake... but I find it hard to care when it means you’re going to be gone.”
Sam held him closer. “That’s a very human thing, Cas. Don’t worry about it.”
“Don’t worry?” Castiel pulled his head back and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he stared up into Sam’s hazel eyes. “You are going to Hell and you want me not to worry about it?”
Sam shook his head. “What I mean is that you’ll eventually be able to move on, and it’ll be better.”
“Move on?” Castiel tilted his head as he thought about that. “I do not like that either.”
“Cas... it’s alright you know. It’s alright to move on.”
“I do not want to move on.” Cas closed his eyes, his mind focused on memories of vivid smiles and hot touches and soothing words; the only things that kept him from pulling out a damn gun and blowing himself away with the sheer madness of the world he had now fallen into.
Sam sighed, easily seeing through him, and gave a smile so sad that Cas could have sworn Dean could feel it from the other side of the house. “I don’t want anyone to linger on my memory. I’ve told Dean to move on, and now I’m telling you.”
“But I’ve liked this.” The angel muttered in a slightly small voice. “I don’t want to forget.”
“Castiel I-”
“No, Sam. I will not forget you. Do not ask me to forget you, because I refuse.”
Sam’s mouth twitched a little, unsure which direction to fall into. Then he simply nodded.
“Well okay...” He said with a small but somewhat content breath. “But if you have to remember anything about me, just ... just... let it be...”
Castiel knew the kiss was coming but the power, the flurry of emotion and need within that kiss was breaking him and they clutched tightly onto each other, fingers digging through jackets and shirts.
“Cas...” His name was moaned across his lips as Sam’s hands fell lower.
Castiel blinked slowly, his coat and tie and shirt fell to the floor in a slow motion blur and joined Sam’s clothes on the floor.
It was Sam who smiled first and cupped his face, but it was the angel who had pushed the distance forward first.
Lips touched again, soft and tender kisses turning rushed and desperate so quickly and the rest of their clothing was lost along the way.
Bodies fell onto the bed, slick with sweat and need and heartbreak as they writhed against one another. And then with one another.
Lips touched, hands wandered, hips thrust.
They groaned each other’s name like a prayer as they moved as one, joint and thrusting and groaning and moaning and clawing and coming with cries neither could hear any longer through their blind lust.
They fell in a heap upon each other, one final kiss before reality rushed at them again. Then it was Castiel cradling Sam, it was Sam burying his nose into Cas’s neck and inhaling that sweet scent and wrapping his arms around Cas’ lower back.
“If it’s any consolation, I don’t want to go either.”
That one honest phrase had Cas falling to pieces but all he gave was a brief dip of his head as he rubbed Sam’s naked back once more.
For it wouldn’t matter what Sam wanted. In the end, if the world needed him to do this, then Sam would do it in a heartbeat. The needs of the many and all that.
It didn’t make it hurt any less though.
~ * ~ * ~
And so, it was the day after the day after the day the world didn’t end.
Castiel stood on the once battlefield alone.
The ground is not scorched. The earth is not upturned. Trees still stand strong and untroubled.
Not a single thing is different to the naked eye. But there is something different.
Castiel’s hand rests over that spot on the ground, feeling the residual thrum of energy recoiling from that spot; the spot where Sam Winchester had made a final leap of faith with Lucifer and Michael in tow.
He could almost feel the pain seeping from the no longer existent wound in the world, could almost feel from the depths of time the roars of agony of the man he once- no, he still adored oh so very much.
“Cas... it’s alright you know. It’s alright to move on.”
His hand finally curled into the ground and ripped into grass and soil and roots.
“I don’t want anyone to linger on my memory. I’ve told Dean to move on, and now I’m telling you.”
His hands closed against the cold air that he could no longer truly feel.
“... if you have to remember anything about me...”
Castiel inhaled deeply, smelling the dirt and the dusty air but he didn’t appreciate it.
“Just... let it...”
The fingers of his other hand touched his lips, felt the burn still whisper across them.
“Just let it be...”
“No.”
Castiel’s hand released its death grip on the planet and he rose to his full height, bits of dirt falling from his fingers forever.
He shook his head, fingers still tickling his lips and he reluctantly pulled them away.
Sam Winchester was gone now. He was trapped in the lowest levels of Hell, in the Cage locked away so deep no angel could reach.
The first blob of rain fell on his cheek and trickled down to his chin. The second hit the ground long after Castiel had vanished.
“How could I ever forget you, Sam?”
~ * ~ * ~