I guess this is part of the problem of the style of journal I am writing -- I try to describe my reflections / responses without actually detailing the situations that cause them. I do this mainly because I find it more interesting to write, and assume others will find it more interesting to read. Also, it provides a certain degree of privacy on the public domain. I guess it can make things confusing and abstract though.
Basically, to a certain degree I've been feeling like a space-filler in people's lives lately. Simply a form requiring a formal response. A face to say hello or goodbye to.
I guess part of it could be taking a trip and talking with people who I know a bit less well. It just frustrates me when I have a conversation in which I feel the other person might as well be talking to anyone -- their responses don't really depend on me being who I am.
The thing is, as often happens with abstraction, it seems broader and more of a blanket generalization that it should. Last night I was focusing on certain things that annoyed me, but I realize that I have quite a decent number of friends who really know me well (you very very much included in that list of course :-D ) and this is a bit of an overreaction. Its more of a certain pattern of interaction that I find annoying than a complaint about my life / friends. But I don't regret posting it. As mentioned in my first entry, these entries are moments, not my permanent status, and I think this is a decently well-worded description of a momentary reflection.
Thanks for being there though and noticing / responding. *Smiles.* It's hardly a formal response, and that makes me really happy. And I'm so glad to have someone who knows me as you do. Simply remembering that (as well as my other close friends) partially negates the reason for my writing.
I guess this is part of the problem of the style of journal I am writing -- I try to describe my reflections / responses without actually detailing the situations that cause them. I do this mainly because I find it more interesting to write, and assume others will find it more interesting to read. Also, it provides a certain degree of privacy on the public domain. I guess it can make things confusing and abstract though.
Basically, to a certain degree I've been feeling like a space-filler in people's lives lately. Simply a form requiring a formal response. A face to say hello or goodbye to.
I guess part of it could be taking a trip and talking with people who I know a bit less well. It just frustrates me when I have a conversation in which I feel the other person might as well be talking to anyone -- their responses don't really depend on me being who I am.
The thing is, as often happens with abstraction, it seems broader and more of a blanket generalization that it should. Last night I was focusing on certain things that annoyed me, but I realize that I have quite a decent number of friends who really know me well (you very very much included in that list of course :-D ) and this is a bit of an overreaction. Its more of a certain pattern of interaction that I find annoying than a complaint about my life / friends. But I don't regret posting it. As mentioned in my first entry, these entries are moments, not my permanent status, and I think this is a decently well-worded description of a momentary reflection.
Thanks for being there though and noticing / responding. *Smiles.* It's hardly a formal response, and that makes me really happy. And I'm so glad to have someone who knows me as you do. Simply remembering that (as well as my other close friends) partially negates the reason for my writing.
*Hugs*
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