hanging in there
Hey everybody. I had a bit of a culture shock coming back to Niihama after the Tokyo trip, and though I still miss Tokyo, I seem to be getting settled in again fairly well. But of course I'm already planning my next trip!
Getting to Nagasaki on the first night is going to be a bitch, mostly because I have work, and by the time I get out, my options will be limited. It looks like to get there, I'll have to take a bus from here to Matsuyama, a bus from that station to the port, then a ferry to get to Kokura Port in Northern Kyushuu, and then a bus from there to Nagasaki City, so I'll arrive Saturday morning around 10:30 in the morning. Phew. On the way back, I'll take an overnight bus from Nagasaki to Kobe, spend the day in Kobe, and then take a bus from there to Niihama, getting me back home around 9:30. This trip is not until July, that's how little I have to do here and how excited I already am to leave again. ^_^;;;
I also have takarazuka tickets for the end of May! I'm going with a friend to see a show called Trafalgar. It's some kind of historical military piece, so lots of cool military uniforms (we're talking 17-1800s here, so the highly decorated type with epaulettes and stuff.)... plenty to look at, though it might be tricky to understand. We'll see.
I participated in an undokai (Sports Festival) last Sunday with a coworker. It made me think of the undokai episodes in Azumanga Daioh, only for this one, non-students could participate too. It was nothing too complicated, just relays and stuff, kinda like field days in American schools, I suppose. It was fun, though I did have to deal with one old man who very rudely asked my coworker if I was the company president's son's wife. First, he asked *over me, I was right there in front of him,* and I had already said hello or whatever in Japanese, so he had no business assuming I wouldn't understand him, especially if he was going to assume I was *married* to a Japanese person. Married to someone I wouldn't be able to talk to! Plus, there was the assumption that the only reason I'd be here in Japan, particularly here in Niihama, was through marriage to some guy in the company. It's not like he's never met OSU interns working for Ichimiya Group before, because apparently George (the intern before me) also participated in this thing. I bet no one asked if he was married to some girl from the company... *grumble* Then of course when we set him straight, he then asked if I was single, and proceeded to suggest a bunch of guys I'd never heard of from here and there, and I'm like, "I DON'T WANT A HUSBAND RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!" What business is it of this guy's, or anybody's, if I'm single? I'm lonely a good bit of the time, yes, but the solution is not necessarily that I need to find a man to take care of. I'm quite happy with my friends, and my family is waiting for me to return home. Spending time with them plus me time keeps me fairly busy. I know everyone's worried about the aging population in Japan and all, that's another reason everyone's pushing marriage so much, but it's not like I can help them with that. Even if I do get married and start pumping out kids, they will never be full Japanese, and we all know that's what they're looking for. What do they care if I'm off having white kids? They don't need those. I have things I want to do, and I can do them without a husband or children. So leave me the fuck alone!
All racist comments, rampant sexism and stupid assumptions about What Women Want aside, I still feel like I'm too young to get married. Not that there's a definite rule for when you are and aren't. Age is (supposedly) just a number. I know some people marry early and that works for them, but I'm really not ready. And as much as I'd like to finally have sex, I'm not entirely sure I'm ready for even that... Hell, I barely have time to sleep, much less date, and I'm not interested in anyone here. The male gaijin around here are kinda slim pickings, and it's kindof like any tight-knit group, where everyone has dated everyone else, and drama is constantly simmering underneath the surface of it all. I'm not touching that. As for Japanese guys, well. My Japanese is good enough for day to day stuff and maybe some discussion on current events/anime/that sort of thing, but I still lack the vocabulary and the grasp on nuance to have more... delicate conversations with anyone. And even if I did, it seems most Japanese guys are even less likely to want to talk about their feelings than American guys are, plus, whether they felt the same way or not, if I were dating a Japanese guy, everyone around us would expect that if we got serious/got married, I'd have to stay with him here forever. And at this point, I kinda think I'd rather die. Because no matter how long you've been here, no matter how good your Japanese is, you'll always be a gaijin. I have no future here, if I'll always be treated like an object. Now, mayyyybe in Tokyo I could possibly be okay, gaijin are old news over there by now, which is probably why I felt so much more comfortable there, but there's still the fact that I'd be very, very far away from family and friends, particularly Phillip, and I couldn't deal with that. Right now, I just want to go all the places I want to go, see the things I want to see, have a good time, study hard, and then leave, as planned, in August/September. No unfulfilled desires or regrets. After that, I'd like to keep in touch with the friends I've made, because they are awesome. And I know I'll probably miss my Japanese teacher most of all, because she is also awesome. I never came here hoping I'd find a guy, and I haven't found one. I'm fine with that, it makes my life a lot easier. So I really want people to stop asking me if I like anyone, because the answer is decidedly no, and it doesn't matter. I've got more important things to think about.
Sigh. Okay, I feel a little better.
Finally, I'd like to ask some advice. For those who didn't see my Facebook status thing, I'm thinking of buying a wig for my Lenalee cosplay, which involves green hair with bangs and long pigtails. I have three choices: buy a short wig and attachable pigtails, a long wig that I'll have to tie into pigtails myself, or one that's already done into pigtails for me, but will probably need to be adjusted to sit higher on my head. Thoughts on what might be easiest to work with? I've never even bought a wig before, much less styled one, but I'll probably be getting more in the future. I'm actually also thinking of getting a nice purple one, just for fun (i.e. scaring the natives. >:D)
Getting to Nagasaki on the first night is going to be a bitch, mostly because I have work, and by the time I get out, my options will be limited. It looks like to get there, I'll have to take a bus from here to Matsuyama, a bus from that station to the port, then a ferry to get to Kokura Port in Northern Kyushuu, and then a bus from there to Nagasaki City, so I'll arrive Saturday morning around 10:30 in the morning. Phew. On the way back, I'll take an overnight bus from Nagasaki to Kobe, spend the day in Kobe, and then take a bus from there to Niihama, getting me back home around 9:30. This trip is not until July, that's how little I have to do here and how excited I already am to leave again. ^_^;;;
I also have takarazuka tickets for the end of May! I'm going with a friend to see a show called Trafalgar. It's some kind of historical military piece, so lots of cool military uniforms (we're talking 17-1800s here, so the highly decorated type with epaulettes and stuff.)... plenty to look at, though it might be tricky to understand. We'll see.
I participated in an undokai (Sports Festival) last Sunday with a coworker. It made me think of the undokai episodes in Azumanga Daioh, only for this one, non-students could participate too. It was nothing too complicated, just relays and stuff, kinda like field days in American schools, I suppose. It was fun, though I did have to deal with one old man who very rudely asked my coworker if I was the company president's son's wife. First, he asked *over me, I was right there in front of him,* and I had already said hello or whatever in Japanese, so he had no business assuming I wouldn't understand him, especially if he was going to assume I was *married* to a Japanese person. Married to someone I wouldn't be able to talk to! Plus, there was the assumption that the only reason I'd be here in Japan, particularly here in Niihama, was through marriage to some guy in the company. It's not like he's never met OSU interns working for Ichimiya Group before, because apparently George (the intern before me) also participated in this thing. I bet no one asked if he was married to some girl from the company... *grumble* Then of course when we set him straight, he then asked if I was single, and proceeded to suggest a bunch of guys I'd never heard of from here and there, and I'm like, "I DON'T WANT A HUSBAND RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!" What business is it of this guy's, or anybody's, if I'm single? I'm lonely a good bit of the time, yes, but the solution is not necessarily that I need to find a man to take care of. I'm quite happy with my friends, and my family is waiting for me to return home. Spending time with them plus me time keeps me fairly busy. I know everyone's worried about the aging population in Japan and all, that's another reason everyone's pushing marriage so much, but it's not like I can help them with that. Even if I do get married and start pumping out kids, they will never be full Japanese, and we all know that's what they're looking for. What do they care if I'm off having white kids? They don't need those. I have things I want to do, and I can do them without a husband or children. So leave me the fuck alone!
All racist comments, rampant sexism and stupid assumptions about What Women Want aside, I still feel like I'm too young to get married. Not that there's a definite rule for when you are and aren't. Age is (supposedly) just a number. I know some people marry early and that works for them, but I'm really not ready. And as much as I'd like to finally have sex, I'm not entirely sure I'm ready for even that... Hell, I barely have time to sleep, much less date, and I'm not interested in anyone here. The male gaijin around here are kinda slim pickings, and it's kindof like any tight-knit group, where everyone has dated everyone else, and drama is constantly simmering underneath the surface of it all. I'm not touching that. As for Japanese guys, well. My Japanese is good enough for day to day stuff and maybe some discussion on current events/anime/that sort of thing, but I still lack the vocabulary and the grasp on nuance to have more... delicate conversations with anyone. And even if I did, it seems most Japanese guys are even less likely to want to talk about their feelings than American guys are, plus, whether they felt the same way or not, if I were dating a Japanese guy, everyone around us would expect that if we got serious/got married, I'd have to stay with him here forever. And at this point, I kinda think I'd rather die. Because no matter how long you've been here, no matter how good your Japanese is, you'll always be a gaijin. I have no future here, if I'll always be treated like an object. Now, mayyyybe in Tokyo I could possibly be okay, gaijin are old news over there by now, which is probably why I felt so much more comfortable there, but there's still the fact that I'd be very, very far away from family and friends, particularly Phillip, and I couldn't deal with that. Right now, I just want to go all the places I want to go, see the things I want to see, have a good time, study hard, and then leave, as planned, in August/September. No unfulfilled desires or regrets. After that, I'd like to keep in touch with the friends I've made, because they are awesome. And I know I'll probably miss my Japanese teacher most of all, because she is also awesome. I never came here hoping I'd find a guy, and I haven't found one. I'm fine with that, it makes my life a lot easier. So I really want people to stop asking me if I like anyone, because the answer is decidedly no, and it doesn't matter. I've got more important things to think about.
Sigh. Okay, I feel a little better.
Finally, I'd like to ask some advice. For those who didn't see my Facebook status thing, I'm thinking of buying a wig for my Lenalee cosplay, which involves green hair with bangs and long pigtails. I have three choices: buy a short wig and attachable pigtails, a long wig that I'll have to tie into pigtails myself, or one that's already done into pigtails for me, but will probably need to be adjusted to sit higher on my head. Thoughts on what might be easiest to work with? I've never even bought a wig before, much less styled one, but I'll probably be getting more in the future. I'm actually also thinking of getting a nice purple one, just for fun (i.e. scaring the natives. >:D)