Mid Morning Thoughts
Today is the first time this term that I've been in the room to hear Kat's alarm go off. It always scares me, and makes me feel vaguely guilty to have been sitting in the room in the (semi) dark on my laptop while she's sleeping. But honestly, there's no other way to get work done when you wake up at 7 and your room mate sleeps till 11.
I went to breakfast this morning, and calculus, and really, it hasn't been so bad to have a 1st hour class. Dare I say, I sort of like it? I'll probably hate it by the end of the term, but right now I really love going to bed before midnight and waking up at 7am. It feels healthy, like I'm awake to see the world and not sleeping through it. It's different than just staying up late at night, somehow, even though I know my waking hours are the same. *shugs*
I went to the gym after math, and it was nice, going back after slacking for the last month. I've kinda missed the burning, wobbly feeling in my arms after benching a good set, and love that feeling of my muscles stetching every time I breath out after doing crunches. Yeah, I'm crazy, I know.
People who were interested in working out more last term, are you still interested? It's nice having a group of people to call who'll come to the gym with me... I'll probably tend to go more during the day, since I have a free-er schedule this term. Most likely Th. and Fri. during 2nd hour, and, maybe Monday 5th hour, or at 7pm. Tuesday are aerobics as usual, and weekends are anytime. Drop a comment if you're interested any of those times (or have times you're going...)
The weather was gorgeous this morning (another reason to love mornings? I think so), lightly windy and very very sunny. I think today's going to be a good day. I'm hosting a prospective student for lunch who's interested in Computer Science, so I can warn them in advance show off the department a little. *innocent grin* And I may go cook dinner with Erin tonight, so that'll be fun (yay home-made meals!).
Finally, I wondered if I should address this or let it go, but you deserve a reply, even if you don't want one:
Maybe you thought I was lashing out at you for daring to write what you think in your journal, but I wasn't trying to. I've been rebuked for ranting in my own journal enough that I hope I didn't come off as 'holier than thou', or imply that your opinions aren't valid. I don't know you well anymore, certainly not as well as many, and maybe I had no right to comment on something so sensitive. But we used to be friends once, and I still care about you, even if I'm not there all the time. I don't want to see you hurt, and I don't want to see you hurting others, because I've been on that side of your temper before too.
I loved reading your journal entries, even after we hadn't seen each other in months, and seeing you moving past all that shit you pulled in high school. You seemed so much more solid than I had seen you in high school, and it reminded me of times during rituals, when the three of us could talk openly, and maybe we didn't know what we were talking about, but we were confident and devoted, and cared. Seeing you sliding back into that 'fuck everyone' attitude, closing yourself off because you had a bad experience, I really just wanted to slap you.
You're so much better than that.
Maybe you don't see it, but I've seen you thinking and acting like you actually care about your life, and I've seen you be a loyal friend and someone who knows how to use their intellegence. And I've seen you be a selfish, whiny, inconsiderate child. So maybe it's not my place to comment on which you should be, but I hoped, I still hope, that you'll figure out how much better you are when you don't close yourself off. You have so much to offer, don't let your anger irrationalize you.
In any case, I'm sorry if I hurt you. I like to think that I had good intentions, but I suppose those pave the way to hell anyway.
I went to breakfast this morning, and calculus, and really, it hasn't been so bad to have a 1st hour class. Dare I say, I sort of like it? I'll probably hate it by the end of the term, but right now I really love going to bed before midnight and waking up at 7am. It feels healthy, like I'm awake to see the world and not sleeping through it. It's different than just staying up late at night, somehow, even though I know my waking hours are the same. *shugs*
I went to the gym after math, and it was nice, going back after slacking for the last month. I've kinda missed the burning, wobbly feeling in my arms after benching a good set, and love that feeling of my muscles stetching every time I breath out after doing crunches. Yeah, I'm crazy, I know.
People who were interested in working out more last term, are you still interested? It's nice having a group of people to call who'll come to the gym with me... I'll probably tend to go more during the day, since I have a free-er schedule this term. Most likely Th. and Fri. during 2nd hour, and, maybe Monday 5th hour, or at 7pm. Tuesday are aerobics as usual, and weekends are anytime. Drop a comment if you're interested any of those times (or have times you're going...)
The weather was gorgeous this morning (another reason to love mornings? I think so), lightly windy and very very sunny. I think today's going to be a good day. I'm hosting a prospective student for lunch who's interested in Computer Science, so I can warn them in advance show off the department a little. *innocent grin* And I may go cook dinner with Erin tonight, so that'll be fun (yay home-made meals!).
Finally, I wondered if I should address this or let it go, but you deserve a reply, even if you don't want one:
Maybe you thought I was lashing out at you for daring to write what you think in your journal, but I wasn't trying to. I've been rebuked for ranting in my own journal enough that I hope I didn't come off as 'holier than thou', or imply that your opinions aren't valid. I don't know you well anymore, certainly not as well as many, and maybe I had no right to comment on something so sensitive. But we used to be friends once, and I still care about you, even if I'm not there all the time. I don't want to see you hurt, and I don't want to see you hurting others, because I've been on that side of your temper before too.
I loved reading your journal entries, even after we hadn't seen each other in months, and seeing you moving past all that shit you pulled in high school. You seemed so much more solid than I had seen you in high school, and it reminded me of times during rituals, when the three of us could talk openly, and maybe we didn't know what we were talking about, but we were confident and devoted, and cared. Seeing you sliding back into that 'fuck everyone' attitude, closing yourself off because you had a bad experience, I really just wanted to slap you.
You're so much better than that.
Maybe you don't see it, but I've seen you thinking and acting like you actually care about your life, and I've seen you be a loyal friend and someone who knows how to use their intellegence. And I've seen you be a selfish, whiny, inconsiderate child. So maybe it's not my place to comment on which you should be, but I hoped, I still hope, that you'll figure out how much better you are when you don't close yourself off. You have so much to offer, don't let your anger irrationalize you.
In any case, I'm sorry if I hurt you. I like to think that I had good intentions, but I suppose those pave the way to hell anyway.