Of new leaves and new semesters
School starts (again) in little over 9 hours, and it's probably not the best time for me to even attempt to revive this little ole journal of mine (is there ever a right time, though, I wonder) and yet here I am doing exactly that. But hey, I never claimed to be normal, anyway.
I was wondering before I opened this why I should even bother commemorating (celebrating? announcing?) the coming academic year. After all, I never did in the past. I suppose, though, that that's exactly it. Maybe cause this semester matters. ('21 units and a PE, it better matter', I hear my mom saying in my head. '23k ain't change, honey!')
It matters cause I'm realizing I'm building my future here. (2 semesters to go before internship and a year to my graduating thesis and I don't know if I even *know* enough) I'm building my future and I'm freaking scared cause young people my age, the good ones, the ones I look up to, they have plans. Heck, some are even living out said plans already. I have plans, too. But plans are scary and I don't really have the best record for following through. Idk, I guess I'm scared of failure (and how cliched is that, right?) I mean, yes everyone probably is. But I've never really set myself up for anything expecting to fail. It's never even been a possibility, not looming at the back of my head, nothing. (and damn, am I cocky or what?) But then towards the end of this summer I kind of looked at my work ethic and realized, wow, have I been coasting it. I can hardly believe how lucky I have been so far, in all honesty.
So. This semester matters. Mainly cause this is me trying to change for the better. (wake up earlier, start projects earlier, even turn them in earlier!) Because this is me (belately) realizing that all the books and movies and shows (and yes, fic) will be there for a long long time, but my chance at the whole education thing is a one shot deal that I better not fuck up. And yes, this is me growing up, I think; being responsible for a change.
And good Lord, I sincerely hope it works out well. So here's to the coming semester. May we have many fond and fantastic memories. *cheers*
And Columbia? You best be waiting for me cause I *am* coming. :D
/long ass feelings-related post
Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com
I was wondering before I opened this why I should even bother commemorating (celebrating? announcing?) the coming academic year. After all, I never did in the past. I suppose, though, that that's exactly it. Maybe cause this semester matters. ('21 units and a PE, it better matter', I hear my mom saying in my head. '23k ain't change, honey!')
It matters cause I'm realizing I'm building my future here. (2 semesters to go before internship and a year to my graduating thesis and I don't know if I even *know* enough) I'm building my future and I'm freaking scared cause young people my age, the good ones, the ones I look up to, they have plans. Heck, some are even living out said plans already. I have plans, too. But plans are scary and I don't really have the best record for following through. Idk, I guess I'm scared of failure (and how cliched is that, right?) I mean, yes everyone probably is. But I've never really set myself up for anything expecting to fail. It's never even been a possibility, not looming at the back of my head, nothing. (and damn, am I cocky or what?) But then towards the end of this summer I kind of looked at my work ethic and realized, wow, have I been coasting it. I can hardly believe how lucky I have been so far, in all honesty.
So. This semester matters. Mainly cause this is me trying to change for the better. (wake up earlier, start projects earlier, even turn them in earlier!) Because this is me (belately) realizing that all the books and movies and shows (and yes, fic) will be there for a long long time, but my chance at the whole education thing is a one shot deal that I better not fuck up. And yes, this is me growing up, I think; being responsible for a change.
And good Lord, I sincerely hope it works out well. So here's to the coming semester. May we have many fond and fantastic memories. *cheers*
And Columbia? You best be waiting for me cause I *am* coming. :D
/long ass feelings-related post
Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com