Summers End
Now deep in the melancholia of summers end. It went far too quick for me this year and without enough resources to fully enjoy, with a sweeping but shortlived spiritual buzz at the beginning put to rest by more hard realities midway, and strangely the best weather happened when I could least afford to take advantage of it. A good fortnight of beautiful days for the last 2 weeks turned to a dark rainy shroud this weekend and looks to continue all week. My closest friend and best connection more or less moved from the area on a business trip that has me neon green with envy and damn bored without him, since I never seem to connnect with 90% of the people I know around here. My personal self employing business ran out of steam weeks ago leaving me completely broke with now huge credit bills, and even though I finally somehow got hired for a job last week after searching for almost a year, its really not making me feel any better, its just another $8/hour job at a copy shop that has me up at 7 am to wait on more college kids, a demoralizing denouement to an otherwise empowering self sustainablity, the hours of which completely conflict with amberwoodrose's hours so we shall once again only see each other an hour at bedtime and weekends only.
With nothing to look forward to this fall but repaying bills, long hard hours, low pay and more isolation, I dont know if I can deal. Quantum entanglement notwithstanding, this world is a drag. Its always seems much more about micromanaging megamateriality than any spiritual growth despite all efforts to the contrary, at least in our age. Mweanwhile and not to mention...I cant even pay for my LJ until I get a handle on things.
There is a opportunity I might get an old cool job back working for my main book dealer in his warehouse full of old comics, where familiarity and experience and better opportunity overall (I can even get paid in cash or resellable books there!) will ensure a much better job experience than the very sad average, not to mention would be a hell of a lot more fun.
With nothing to look forward to this fall but repaying bills, long hard hours, low pay and more isolation, I dont know if I can deal. Quantum entanglement notwithstanding, this world is a drag. Its always seems much more about micromanaging megamateriality than any spiritual growth despite all efforts to the contrary, at least in our age. Mweanwhile and not to mention...I cant even pay for my LJ until I get a handle on things.
There is a opportunity I might get an old cool job back working for my main book dealer in his warehouse full of old comics, where familiarity and experience and better opportunity overall (I can even get paid in cash or resellable books there!) will ensure a much better job experience than the very sad average, not to mention would be a hell of a lot more fun.