Why is it that after you spin for a while the room keeps spinning after you stop?
You know how sometimes you throw your internal clock off by sleeping too long. Yeah, I do that a lot. My internal clock = broken! I haven't slept in 18 hours or since 4 p.m. yesterday, and quite frankly I don't intend to for at least another eight hours.
The only decent way I have ever found to reset my clock or at least make it so I could go to sleep at a decent hour after sleeping in WAY too late is to just stay wake all day through till the next day and just skip a night of sleeping. It works, sometimes, I think...Thing is I sometimes fall asleep early and get like a four hour nap. Kinda throws off the whole system...Oh well. Nothing else works...
Yeah, I don't post in here much. Or ever. Thing is right now the sleepies are kinda starting to kick in, unfortunately I cant go to sleep yet if this is to work. So I need to stay active and thus awake. The good news is I have tons of energy to burn after having stayed in this damn computer chair pretty much all night. The bad news is I don't really want to do any of the things available to me to do. Then it occurred to me that posting in my livejournal was something to do and would kill time. Yay!
Well now that the explanation into my sudden bout of insanity is relieved I can continue. I would like to point out that I am normally insane anyways, its just that this is an abnormal flavor of insanity for me. Bad aftertaste though...
Back to the point, wait I didn't have one yet...anyhow apparently Joy's family "really wants me to come" to some dinner or function or gathering or ritual sacrifice...no fugging idea. But there was mention of fillet mignon. Turns out her family actually likes me. (weird huh? Everyone else in the world hates me except for these people I can barely stand most of the time) Apparently my coming over to take care of joy while she had the ear infection really impressed them.
Unfortunately I only did that because I don't have a job. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I could be able to take care of her while she was sick, but I really wonder how well they will keep liking me without income. I might be too self-conscious, but I really feel like a total fuggin mooch all the goddamn time. I'll get to that in a moment I guess.
Back to going to this thing, I am wondering if I should bring moneys. I don't know. Fillet mignon ain't cheap and I don't know how they are affording it, these people live well above their means. Thing is I don't know if I want to impress them or not. Truthfully I think I should just go about my business as usual. I'm in a relationship with Joy, not them. However they are a part of her life and thus vicariously mine. So I have to deal with them, I just don't know how much effort its worth.
I need to get more info on this from Joy I guess.
Well in other not so new NEWS, I still haven't gotten off my dead dying ass to get a job. I just really don't like any of the job opportunities I have. I don't want to become a retailer slave like josh or jon. I want something with a bit more expression and intelligence. But I have no work experience and thus can't be too picky. I would honestly love a job working with computers. I should get my A+ certification. Don't think it would be too hard, would have to study a little though.
If anybody can suggest a good job for me please speak up. No, I'm serious. HELP ME!!!
Yeah turns out I am putting too much pressure on myself to get a job. Not that I don't need to get one. I realized the other night that I feel like the whole of my world hinges on me getting a job. It doesn't, I needed to step back. So I am kinda taking a vacation of sorts in my own mind to solve this. Find my center, regain my calm, figure out who the fuck I am again. Yeah, that last one is going to be hard what with my delusions of grandeur.
I don't know why I feel like adding this, but I really love Joy. Damnedest thing, I can't figure it out. Its like when I try to figure out why I love her I can't think of anything in particular. But I do, and thats all that matters I guess. I do wish she would cheer up some. I guess I see more of her depressed side than the rest of y'all. I kinda miss the cheery lunatic girl I fell in love with. She kinda had a breakdown of sorts after moving.
To put it clearly she started really leaning on me for stability in her life. Sadly it pushed my life out of stability, but I was able to give her some nonetheless. I'm trying to regain my footing, and hopefully helping her to find hers as well. I really do think she needs more faith in herself. But I have no room to speak there.
I feel like such a hypocrite sometimes. I suggest people do all these things even though I don't myself. I'm like a smoker who can't break the habit; I try to quit, I fail, and then I tell everybody else how bad a habit it is. At least I never did take up smoking except second hand. Damn I miss those alveoli...
Yeah, that leads to another thing I say I will do but never do. Get in better health. I am such a slacker. ~sigh~
Oh, well I'm running out of steam. 'Bout time too, as it is this thing is so long ain't nooooooooobody gonna read it. But in case you have gotten this far, I apologize for the inconvenience and regret to inform you that the portion of your life you wasted cannot be recovered. So long, farewell, and thanks for all the fish...42 muthafukka!
The only decent way I have ever found to reset my clock or at least make it so I could go to sleep at a decent hour after sleeping in WAY too late is to just stay wake all day through till the next day and just skip a night of sleeping. It works, sometimes, I think...Thing is I sometimes fall asleep early and get like a four hour nap. Kinda throws off the whole system...Oh well. Nothing else works...
Yeah, I don't post in here much. Or ever. Thing is right now the sleepies are kinda starting to kick in, unfortunately I cant go to sleep yet if this is to work. So I need to stay active and thus awake. The good news is I have tons of energy to burn after having stayed in this damn computer chair pretty much all night. The bad news is I don't really want to do any of the things available to me to do. Then it occurred to me that posting in my livejournal was something to do and would kill time. Yay!
Well now that the explanation into my sudden bout of insanity is relieved I can continue. I would like to point out that I am normally insane anyways, its just that this is an abnormal flavor of insanity for me. Bad aftertaste though...
Back to the point, wait I didn't have one yet...anyhow apparently Joy's family "really wants me to come" to some dinner or function or gathering or ritual sacrifice...no fugging idea. But there was mention of fillet mignon. Turns out her family actually likes me. (weird huh? Everyone else in the world hates me except for these people I can barely stand most of the time) Apparently my coming over to take care of joy while she had the ear infection really impressed them.
Unfortunately I only did that because I don't have a job. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I could be able to take care of her while she was sick, but I really wonder how well they will keep liking me without income. I might be too self-conscious, but I really feel like a total fuggin mooch all the goddamn time. I'll get to that in a moment I guess.
Back to going to this thing, I am wondering if I should bring moneys. I don't know. Fillet mignon ain't cheap and I don't know how they are affording it, these people live well above their means. Thing is I don't know if I want to impress them or not. Truthfully I think I should just go about my business as usual. I'm in a relationship with Joy, not them. However they are a part of her life and thus vicariously mine. So I have to deal with them, I just don't know how much effort its worth.
I need to get more info on this from Joy I guess.
Well in other not so new NEWS, I still haven't gotten off my dead dying ass to get a job. I just really don't like any of the job opportunities I have. I don't want to become a retailer slave like josh or jon. I want something with a bit more expression and intelligence. But I have no work experience and thus can't be too picky. I would honestly love a job working with computers. I should get my A+ certification. Don't think it would be too hard, would have to study a little though.
If anybody can suggest a good job for me please speak up. No, I'm serious. HELP ME!!!
Yeah turns out I am putting too much pressure on myself to get a job. Not that I don't need to get one. I realized the other night that I feel like the whole of my world hinges on me getting a job. It doesn't, I needed to step back. So I am kinda taking a vacation of sorts in my own mind to solve this. Find my center, regain my calm, figure out who the fuck I am again. Yeah, that last one is going to be hard what with my delusions of grandeur.
I don't know why I feel like adding this, but I really love Joy. Damnedest thing, I can't figure it out. Its like when I try to figure out why I love her I can't think of anything in particular. But I do, and thats all that matters I guess. I do wish she would cheer up some. I guess I see more of her depressed side than the rest of y'all. I kinda miss the cheery lunatic girl I fell in love with. She kinda had a breakdown of sorts after moving.
To put it clearly she started really leaning on me for stability in her life. Sadly it pushed my life out of stability, but I was able to give her some nonetheless. I'm trying to regain my footing, and hopefully helping her to find hers as well. I really do think she needs more faith in herself. But I have no room to speak there.
I feel like such a hypocrite sometimes. I suggest people do all these things even though I don't myself. I'm like a smoker who can't break the habit; I try to quit, I fail, and then I tell everybody else how bad a habit it is. At least I never did take up smoking except second hand. Damn I miss those alveoli...
Yeah, that leads to another thing I say I will do but never do. Get in better health. I am such a slacker. ~sigh~
Oh, well I'm running out of steam. 'Bout time too, as it is this thing is so long ain't nooooooooobody gonna read it. But in case you have gotten this far, I apologize for the inconvenience and regret to inform you that the portion of your life you wasted cannot be recovered. So long, farewell, and thanks for all the fish...42 muthafukka!