Dear Sirs
As you are probably aware your attempts to keep the universe ripe with free energy today was very successful. Let me be the first to say 'Bravo' the irony was palpable. I wonder at your reasoning for inflicting such an interesting day on me today. I generally reserve sparing with the universe for times that are not exams. So please understand the difficulty i have not feeling somewhat wronged. As I address you both as Sir out of great respect for your abilities and function in the cosmos I overly personify you. I see you as wise gentlemen who understand the need of such action to occur in the world. We seem to differ on acceptable timing.
When all is said and done though you remain my teachers and the source of much revelation in my life. As I saw him drowning today I laughed. There was nothing left to do. I couldn't drag him from the water, and those who saw me grappling to save him left unconcerned, and left huge wakes to slam into his sides. He so rarely gets out into the world. He's been with me in my worst hours. Hours alone in the night when we were homeless nomads. And now as I try to get ready for my last set of major undergraduate exams you try and take him from me. I won't really know for a few days, tomorrow evening at the soonest. And from my experience in situations like this he will never be the same, a dingy shadow of my daring cohort. I laughed because you have taught me well over the years. I laughed because there was nothing I could do, and I recognize that now. I've felt a near calm at riding my unease lately. Stability in the chaos that drives me forward. Things are going well as things go bad because it keeps going and it will until the time it doesn't. At that point it won't matter, at least not for me. So thankyou for showing me that I have learned from you. In hard times I can still deal with such an upset. I know that given the chance things can and will go wrong. and I thankyou sir for teaching me that. I know that what one views as the right order of things will invariably be inverted by you sir to what ever purpose you have, i feel i understand it sometimes, even when I'm the butt of your joke. I can try and recognize your statement.
That has been your greatest gift to me. Without decided rhythm or motivation you've made my life fun, you've made my life hell, you.... you have made my life interesting. As I ran today, I knew i was to late. He was helpless bobbing there while we looked on. I reacted, I cursed the universe, I cursed the statue of Jesus (as son of a one time thunder god turned master of the universe one would think protection of students on exam day might be possible) I don't believe in those forces as sentient or directed no more that I see you as discreet entities, the universe is simply a very large blunt surface my insignificant rage can bounce against. But wave between laughing and screaming, now screaming would simply be catharsis through the parody of what someone else I might be would do. It sucks, its over, I still have to deal with it tomorrow, and the next day. I didn't get all the studying done I wanted to today and had to abandon a friend to fate. So now I sit here, tired and alone but content. You have hardened me to your presence. I know you and see you in the world. You can still shock me, remind me of my limited control, but now Its a game i am willing to play. I know you'll keep playing. You must to drive change and prevent stagnation. I know stagnation leads to death. So now when you catch me I react and let the moment pass. Laugh that you got me again. You my eternal teachers. Reminders of the things out there that are bigger than me. Those universal beasts I fear and revere as shapers of history.
When all is said and done though you remain my teachers and the source of much revelation in my life. As I saw him drowning today I laughed. There was nothing left to do. I couldn't drag him from the water, and those who saw me grappling to save him left unconcerned, and left huge wakes to slam into his sides. He so rarely gets out into the world. He's been with me in my worst hours. Hours alone in the night when we were homeless nomads. And now as I try to get ready for my last set of major undergraduate exams you try and take him from me. I won't really know for a few days, tomorrow evening at the soonest. And from my experience in situations like this he will never be the same, a dingy shadow of my daring cohort. I laughed because you have taught me well over the years. I laughed because there was nothing I could do, and I recognize that now. I've felt a near calm at riding my unease lately. Stability in the chaos that drives me forward. Things are going well as things go bad because it keeps going and it will until the time it doesn't. At that point it won't matter, at least not for me. So thankyou for showing me that I have learned from you. In hard times I can still deal with such an upset. I know that given the chance things can and will go wrong. and I thankyou sir for teaching me that. I know that what one views as the right order of things will invariably be inverted by you sir to what ever purpose you have, i feel i understand it sometimes, even when I'm the butt of your joke. I can try and recognize your statement.
That has been your greatest gift to me. Without decided rhythm or motivation you've made my life fun, you've made my life hell, you.... you have made my life interesting. As I ran today, I knew i was to late. He was helpless bobbing there while we looked on. I reacted, I cursed the universe, I cursed the statue of Jesus (as son of a one time thunder god turned master of the universe one would think protection of students on exam day might be possible) I don't believe in those forces as sentient or directed no more that I see you as discreet entities, the universe is simply a very large blunt surface my insignificant rage can bounce against. But wave between laughing and screaming, now screaming would simply be catharsis through the parody of what someone else I might be would do. It sucks, its over, I still have to deal with it tomorrow, and the next day. I didn't get all the studying done I wanted to today and had to abandon a friend to fate. So now I sit here, tired and alone but content. You have hardened me to your presence. I know you and see you in the world. You can still shock me, remind me of my limited control, but now Its a game i am willing to play. I know you'll keep playing. You must to drive change and prevent stagnation. I know stagnation leads to death. So now when you catch me I react and let the moment pass. Laugh that you got me again. You my eternal teachers. Reminders of the things out there that are bigger than me. Those universal beasts I fear and revere as shapers of history.