Fic: Hope is the Worst of Evils
Title: Hope is the Worst of Evils
Author: Aelora
Rating: PG (Eventual NC-17)
Warnings: zombies, character deaths, language, sexual situations, gore
Summary: This is not a love story. It’s not a story about friendship or family or a couple of boys who meet on a staircase one day and become the beginning, middle and end of one another’s lives. This is not a horror story or a character piece or a treatise on the apocalypse. This is a story about survival.
A/N: Special thanks to my betas - crazedwolf, who encourages my zombie obsession, wordplay, who just encourages, and whenidance, who is both an enabler and a very hotgood quick and dirty beta.
First off, I don't even know guys. The zombies grabbed me and wouldn't let go. This story is mostly angst. It’s putting our boys through hell, and spitting them back out again. It’s about how each of them copes differently with what is happening, and how that makes/breaks them together. It is a chaptered fic, and I hope to post 2 or so chapters a week, while trying to keep ahead of myself by 4 or so. This will end when the boys tell me it does, or there’s no one left to write about.
This is the shortest of the chapters. More of an intro, if you will.
And there, there overhead, there, there, hung over
Those thousands of white faces, those dazed eyes,
There in the starless dark, the poise, the hover,
There with vast wings across the cancelled skies,
There in the sudden blackness, the black pall
Of nothing, nothing, nothing - nothing at all.
The End of the World ~ Archibald MacLeish
Death is when the monsters get you.
STEPHEN KING, Salem's Lot
The only reason Kurt is going home for the weekend is because his dad is insisting. The epidemic that began only two months earlier continues to become more widespread and Kurt can hear the concern in his dad’s voice when they talk on his phone-come home, spend time with your family, you’re too far away for me to look out for you, I wish you were transferring sooner. He tries to get Blaine to come with him, but his friend has a report on the fall of the Roman Empire due on Monday, and he smiles as he points out that all they’d end up doing is watching Judy Garland movies and making playlists, and does Kurt really want him to fail?
Kurt knows he’s probably right but he still worries, still hates the idea of leaving Blaine at Dalton, and sure, the epidemic will likely never touch Westerville or Lima the way it has major cities around the world, but he can’t help but be a little protective. It’s what love does to a person, though he can’t really say as much to Blaine. So, he smiles, and tells him to be sure to text when he’s bored, and he’ll see him Monday morning.
When he gets home, he can feel the anxiety among his family like a palpable thing. No one really talks about it, but the television is always on quietly in the background, listening as news reports continue to pour in from the coasts, the larger cities in the country, and other countries around the world. They’re still trying to find Patient Zero; it began as a mutated version of swine flu somewhere in Asia that jumped species, and quickly began spreading. Reports say H4N2 is still mutating, but everything is sketchy. Journalists seem as lost as the general public they’re reporting to; governments are remaining quiet. All anyone really knows is that it travels from person to person like any other virus-a sneeze here, an uncovered cough there, germs passing from hand to hand, be careful kids and wash those hands before touching anyone after anything-and it begins as a very high fever. It’s probably safer not to go out in public places where you might be subjected to large groups of people.
International flights have temporarily been suspended. People in cities are seen walking along the streets in surgical masks. Restaurants are going out of business because no one wants to take the chance of eating out. Elementary schools are sending children home telling parents it might be better to home school for the time being. Hospitals are filled to overflowing. The death toll is mounting.
Sometimes Kurt and Finn will catch their parents whispering quietly to one another in the kitchen. When they realize the boys are there, they stop whatever they are saying and flash tense smiles. Kurt can’t help but feel like plans are being made that he’d rather not know anything about anyway. There’s a street corner in downtown Lima where a homeless man stands with a crudely written sign: The End is Here. At least he isn’t telling Kurt to pray about it-that would upset him more than the sentiment that the world might be ending, which he doubts anyway.
He meets up with Mercedes and Rachel at the playground in the exact center of where they all live. Their parents don’t want them to go to the mall, and most of the restaurants are closed - even the Lima Bean. None of them want to hang out at their respective houses because they’ve all noticed their parents tend to just stand around and watch them.
The first thing they say to him is, “Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell’s sick.”
It’s all they need to say. Lately, when you hear someone is sick, you don’t ask anything else. You don’t want to.
Kurt sits at the top of the slide as the two girls sit quietly in the swings; the playground is eerily empty except for them.
“National’s has been canceled for the time being,” Rachel says to neither of them, playing with the bottom button on her light blue cardigan. “I would think that music would be something people would want to hear right now.”
“Are you really comfortable with the idea of going to New York at the moment?” Mercedes asks, a little more sharply than she probably intended.
Rachel shrugs and grasps the chains of the swing on either side of her, pushing back and letting herself swing freely for a few quiet seconds. “It’s not like they’ve quarantined the city or anything.” She pauses, frowning. “You don’t think that will happen, do you? I mean, it couldn’t, of course.” She laughs, and there’s a nervous quality behind it.
Kurt doesn’t say anything.
Earlier that week, Nick had come running to Blaine’s room where they had been doing homework. He’d grabbed Blaine’s laptop from him, ignoring his protest as he opened the browser and typed in an address. It was a blog by some college student claiming that the government was keeping a lot more information from them on the epidemic than reported. The blogger claimed entire towns were being quarantined-no one was getting in, no one was getting out. The military was sweeping into places, and then, it was as if those places never existed. People were disappearing-important people in the government, the CDC, scientists, researchers. Hospitals were quietly closing, and no one seemed to know what happened to the patients.
Blaine had scoffed, told Nick there was no evidence behind any of the blogger’s claims, and he really needed to stop believing everything on the internet. Still, after Nick had left, a little crestfallen that Blaine hadn’t seemed as enthralled by the website as he was, Blaine had moved over to the bed where Kurt was sitting with his homework, and they’d held hands while they continued studying.
“Are you going to go back to Dalton for your last week?”
Kurt glances down at Mercedes at the question. “Why wouldn’t I?”
She and Rachel look at one another a moment before glancing back up at him. “A lot of the kids have stopped coming to school,” Rachel tells him. “We figured your dad wouldn’t want you being away anymore. And since you’re coming back to McKinley anyway…”
He clenches his teeth a moment as he glances out at the neighborhood surrounding the little park. It’s too quiet. No cars passing, no people out walking, not even dogs barking. It’s like the whole world is in hiding. “I think he wants me to stay. I think he’ll bring it up tomorrow. He and Carole keep-“ Kurt looks back down at the girls; they have shared expressions of worry on their faces. “If I can convince Blaine to come home with me, then I will.”
“Can’t he just go to his own home?”
Kurt doesn’t think Mercedes means her words to sound as cold as they do. Her family hasn’t been able to get a hold of her oldest brother who is away at college in Michigan for the last week. “Blaine’s parents haven’t answered his calls,” he says, and he knows Mercedes understands when she looks away silently.
“Do you think…” Rachel doesn’t finish her question, just stares up at Kurt with wide eyes.
He shrugs and looks away again. “Blaine says that sometimes they do that-take off to travel or something without telling him. He said he’ll worry when two weeks pass and there’s nothing.” He knows his friend was lying, though. Blaine has spent a lot of time staring at his phone over the last week.
Rachel’s phone chimes. She glances at it and sighs. “My dads want me home. They really don’t like me being gone for very long lately.”
“Same here,” Mercedes admits, and they both slip off the swings.
Kurt pushes his way down the slide, standing as both girls walk over to take turns hugging him. They seem to cling to each other an inordinate amount of time. Kurt tries not to believe that they’re honestly scared that something might happen; that they might not ever see each other again.
Still, as they all set off on their separate ways, he glances over his shoulder to see both of them glancing back as well. It’s enough to make his chest tighten with fear.
Kurt senses, but doesn’t know; it’s the last time that he sees either of them.
*************
Kurt had been right, of course, when he told Mercedes and Rachel that his dad was going to ask him to stay home come Sunday. It is during dinner. Kurt makes a comment that he texted Blaine earlier and hasn’t heard back yet. It has him worried. Blaine usually responds almost immediately.
“Kurt,” his dad begins, and when Kurt looks up, he does so with the knowledge of what is coming. “Carole and I’ve been talking, and we think it best that you don’t go back to Dalton. It doesn’t seem to make sense since your transfer will be official as of next week anyway. We want Finn to stay home, too. Neither of you should be going back to school at all until they get a handle on this epidemic.”
Finn looks up at that. “I don’t want to stay home. Things are weird enough, don’t you think? I mean, glee’s the only thing that takes my mind off of it anymore.”
Kurt’s glad that Finn’s the first to protest. He says, “I want to go back to Dalton for my last week. I don’t think there’s any reason it isn’t safe. Administration has been really careful-there are signs everywhere about reporting to the nurse if you aren’t feeling well, and they put up all kinds of automatic hand sanitizers around the buildings. There’s even a new cleaning crew that comes in and cleans our room for us-“
“Dude, you don’t have to clean your own room?” Finn asks, looking both disbelieving and envious.
Kurt opens his mouth to respond but his dad cuts him off, “That’s not the point, kiddo. Dalton’s just too far away for my comfort. I can’t get to ya quickly enough if there’s a problem.”
“We just want both of you boys safe until there’s a vaccination out there and things can get back to normal,” Carole says softly.
Both Finn and Kurt look over at her. She’s a nurse, the most knowledgeable one in the household. Her words don’t match her expression, and it’s obvious to both of them she’s a lot less confident about the thought of a vaccination than she says.
“I’ll call the schools in the morning,” Burt says.
Kurt remains silent for a few moments as he pushes the whole grain pasta around on his plate with his fork. Finally, he tells them, “I’m going back.”
“Kurt-“
He looks up to meet his dad’s gaze. “I can’t just leave Blaine there by himself, Dad. If nothing else, I at least have to go back and get him. Get my things. Stuff like that.”
“Your things aren’t important-they’ll still be there when this all blows over,” his dad replies. “As for Blaine… well, I’m sorry, Kurt, but I need to look out for my own son.”
Kurt sets his fork down, and folds his hands in his lap. “Blaine doesn’t have anyone else. He doesn’t have parents to look out for him because they aren’t responding to his calls. He’s my best friend. He’s-“ Kurt stops himself from going in to too much detail about what the boy means to him. He thinks his dad already knows anyway. “I need to at least bring him back here. Let him stay with us. He can sleep on the couch. Whatever. I am not going to leave him there.”
His dad glances over at Carole and they share a brief, silent look. When he looks back at Kurt, he says, “You can tell him he is welcome to stay here, but you’re not going to get him. He can drive himself. And for our family’s safety, I prefer he come tomorrow. The sooner he gets away from a school full of people, the better off he and we will be.”
Kurt nods, accepting the fact that this is as much as he’s going to get. He knows if he asks Blaine to get some things from his room, he will. Still, a part of him wants to be able to go back to Dalton, if only briefly, if only to wish his friends in the Warblers good luck. They might not be as close as the kids in New Directions, but he’s definitely grown fond of all of them, particularly a few. They’ve very much become a second family to him, and he hopes they all stay safe.
After dinner he tries calling Blaine, but only gets his voicemail. Not wishing to alarm his friend, he only says, “Hey, it’s me. Please call when you can-I need to talk to you about tomorrow. Thanks.”
He decides to text as well.
To: Blaine Anderson
From: Kurt Hummel
Haven’t heard from you. Worried. Plz txt. ~K
Kurt busies himself with his skin care regime while he waits. He can hear the television from downstairs; in the room next to him, Finn is on the phone with someone, possibly Puck, telling him about how he won’t be going back to school tomorrow. He says words like “this is insane”, “wish someone knew what was going on”, “Mom and Burt seem… scared”. Kurt tries to block it out, concentrates on his regime, wishing that Blaine would call. He just wants to hear his voice.
Over the next few hours, he leaves four more messages, sends more than two dozen texts. He curls up on his bed with his phone in his hand and eventually his eyes close of their own volition.
Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” jolts him awake. The light on the screen of his phone is almost blinding, but for a moment he can’t look away-the time reads 3:24. There are very few reasons Blaine would call at that time of night, and none of them are good.
“Why haven’t you called?” He asks immediately, not bothering to keep the upset from his voice.
“Kurt, things are… things are happening here.” There’s a tremor in Blaine’s voice; real, tangible fear.
Kurt sits up, pulling his knees to his chest. “Wh-what do you mean?”
“We’re quarantined. No one can get in or out.”
“Quaran-“ Kurt can’t even get the word out. He thinks of the website, thinks of the news reports of hospitals being quarantined and then… nothing. He jumps out of bed, turning on the light. “Blaine, I’m coming to get you-“
“Didn’t you just hear what I said?” Blaine’s tone goes from fearful to angry fairly quickly. “No one is getting in or out. Not students, not parents, not faculty. No one. ”
He just stops in the center of his room, wrapping his free arm around his chest. He’s chilled suddenly, goose bumps breaking out over his skin, even though he knows it’s mildly warm outside. “Blaine, what happened? Why did they do this?”
There’s a momentary silence and Kurt is afraid they lost their connection. Then, Blaine sighs. “Jeremy came back this afternoon from visiting his parents this weekend. He had a fever. ”
Kurt draws in a sharp breath-Jeremy is one of the Warblers he hasn’t really gotten all that close to, mostly because they hang in different circles other than rehearsal. “You didn’t-I mean none of the other Warblers got near him?”
“No,” Blaine says, and Kurt’s shoulders sag with relief. He knows he should be worried about Jeremy, but the thought that Blaine might have been exposed… “The nurse informed his roommate. He didn’t make it much past the front door.”
“Oh.” Kurt forces himself to sit in the chair at his vanity. He can tell Blaine’s story isn’t finished.
“They called a general assembly around two this afternoon. They came through and searched our rooms, collected our phones, Kurt. I don’t know if you tried to text or what, but, I don’t have my phone anymore. Luckily, Kendrick has this pre-paid one his grandma sent him to convince him to call her more-we’re all making calls on it. There isn’t much time left. ”
Kurt knows he’s talking about the minutes when he says there isn’t much time left, but there’s something sinister in the unspoken meaning behind the words.
“They kept us there for hours-they wouldn’t say much other than a student was sick and that we shouldn’t worry. They said our parents were being contacted-I think that’s bullshit. They even cut off our internet access. When we were finally allowed to leave, some of the students saw it when they went outside and they ran in to tell us-there’s military surrounding the school. Soldiers with guns, barricades, there’s even a tank, Kurt. A tank! ”
“Blaine-“
“This is serious, Kurt. I just had to call and tell you. Warn you not to try to come back tomorrow morning, though I’m sure it’s already on the news.” He pauses, and then adds, “I just wanted to be able to talk to you. ”
Kurt’s throat tightens. He’s trying not to think, he can’t even allow himself to imagine-but there’s finality to Blaine’s voice that’s impossible to ignore. “Blaine, everything is going to be fine. These are just precautionary measures. They were able to contain Jeremy, so the illness can’t spread. You-you guys are better off now. Safer. If they are keeping from anyone else getting in, that means it can’t touch you. This… this will all blow over and then the quarantine will be lifted.”
This is why Kurt has never gone into acting, has stuck to singing-he doesn’t believe a word he just said, and he can tell none of it was convincing.
There’s another brief silence, and then Blaine begins with, “Kurt,” and he’s heard that tone before, remembers what it was like standing there in the Lima Bean as Blaine so earnestly and honestly poured his heart out to him, told him how much he cared, how scared he was at the idea of screwing up what they had between them. And he feels terror filling him even before Blaine says, “This may be the last chance I have to say this- “
“Stop!” He snaps. “Blaine, don’t-just don’t!” He jumps to his feet and runs to his closest, yanking out clothes to put on. “I’m coming to get you. This isn’t going to happen. This can’t-“
“Dammit, will you shut up and listen to me for a moment, please? ”
It’s the pleading in Blaine’s voice that breaks him. He stops what he’s doing, letting his forehead drop against the closet door as the tears begin to fall.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes when it comes to you... us, ” Blaine tells him quietly. “I feel like I’ve wasted-everything. Every chance, every moment, and every word I should have been saying but never did. I need you to know that from the moment I met you, you’ve meant everything to me. Everything, Kurt. And I wish I hadn’t been such a coward. There are so many moments when I should have just shed my stupid fears about losing you and… and kissed you. I wanted-I want to kiss you, Kurt. You have no idea how many times, and now we won’t-we may never get that chance, and that’s my fault, and I just need you to know how sorry I am, how- “
“Please stop, Blaine,” Kurt begs, not bothering to hide the sounds of his crying. “Please. I can’t-this can’t be happening-“
“Courage,” Blaine whispers, and Kurt can hear his tears with the word that holds so much meaning between them, and he sobs, sliding to the floor.
“I love you, Blaine. I love you so much.”
“Oh, Kurt. I lov- “
The line goes silent.
Kurt panics, hitting *69 but Blaine doesn’t pick up. “The number you have reached has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please hang up and-”
Throwing his phone across the room angrily, Kurt buries his face into his hands, sobbing. His mind is chanting this can’t be happening, this can’t be happening, this can’t be happening even as the realist in him knows it is, knows it has. He should have forced Blaine to come home with him for the weekend. What the hell did the fall of the Roman Empire even mean now? The whole world is falling apart, his world is falling apart, and he’s helpless to do anything about it.
No. Not helpless.
Kurt lifts his head, thinking. The grounds on Dalton are huge. Almost three quarters of the property are surrounded by woods, orchards, farm land. There is no possible way that the military could be covering all of it. Surely there’s an opening, somewhere he can sneak through, get on to campus, find Blaine and get him out of there. If he doesn’t at least try-
There’s no point in thinking about it any longer. Yes, his dad is going to be angry, but at the moment, he doesn’t really care what his dad thinks.
An hour later, he’s downstairs, packing his messenger bags with things he might need, though he honestly has no idea-flashlight, some batteries, his dad’s Swiss army knife, some granola bars, two bottles of water, a map of Ohio. He’s dressed in colors he thinks will mostly blend into the foliage; olive green trousers tucked into his Doc Martens, a beige button down with brown checked vest and matching brown scarf wrapped around his neck. He figures he might as well be fashionable when sneaking past the military.
Beside him lays a box he hasn’t had the nerve to open yet. He’s still undecided as to whether or not he should take it. On the one hand, things could happen in which he’d need it. On the other hand, things could happen, which would make having it a bad thing. On the television playing quietly in front of him, the local news is reporting on business closures, more pleas coming in for parents to keep their kids at home, a press release from the White House for everyone to remain calm. Rioting continues to break out in major cities.
“Dude, what’s going on?”
Kurt spins around at Finn’s voice, flushing guiltily as his brother takes a moment to glance over his clothing, and then the messenger bag stuffed with supplies beside him. His eyes narrow a little as he steps forward.
“Burt doesn’t want us leaving the-“
“Blaine called,” Kurt tells him quietly, quickly. “One of the Warblers showed up sick. They’ve quarantined the school. The military has it surrounded-no one gets in, no one gets out. Finn, I have to try to get to him. I have to get him out of there.”
But Finn is already shaking his head. “No way. No way in hell, Kurt. You know how stupid it would be to even try something like that, not to mention even if you did succeed by some fricken miracle, your dad would have your hide when you got back here. Hell, he might not even let Blaine stay with us, he’d be so pissed.”
“I don’t care.” Kurt turns back to his packing, his eyes straying for a moment to the TV. “I have to do something.”
“I’m waking our parents up-“
“Finn, no!” Kurt whispers furiously, whirling around to grab him, stop him from heading upstairs. “What would you do if you were in my position?” He asks. “If this were Quinn, or Rachel, or even Puck? Would you just leave them there, knowing that with everything that’s happening, with everything-“ Kurt’s voice catches, and he can feels tears threatening again. “You might never see them again…”
Finn’s expression softens at that, and he reaches out to lay a hand on Kurt’s shoulder. “You really care about him, don’t you?”
Kurt just nods, dropping his gaze.
There’s a long silence where he tries to figure out just what he’ll do if Finn makes the choice to go and wake their parents. Could he make it to the car in time for them to be unable to stop him?
“Fine,” his stepbrother says after a moment. “But I’m going with you.”
Kurt looks up at him quickly. “No, Finn. You should stay here. This isn’t your problem. Dad and Carole need you here and-“
“I think your dad is pretty capable of looking after my mom,” Finn says with a small smile. “And vice versa. It’s not going to be easy getting onto the Dalton school grounds. You could use someone to back you up. Not to mention, do you really think Blaine is just going to walk off and leave his friends behind? You may need me there to hit him over the head and carry him out.”
Kurt hadn’t thought about that. And he finds himself wondering if he can possibly get all of the Warblers out at the same time. He certainly can’t get the whole school, but maybe the Warblers…
“Give me ten minutes to change and get some things together.”
“Five,” Kurt says, turning back to his own packing as he reaches out to pick up the untouched box.
“What’s that?”
Kurt opens the lid and beside him, Finn gasps.
“Dude, do you even know how to use that thing?”
“Yeah. Dad took me to target practice a few times a couple years back. Bonding time, or whatever.” He reaches in and pulls out the handgun, a Glock 17 9mm. He checks the chamber to make certain it’s empty before slipping it into his bag, and then gathers up the bullets in the bottom of the box, tucking them into the inside pocket.
“What… I mean, why do you think you need that?” Finn sounds nervous.
Kurt shrugs. “Just in case. There’s looting, rioting. Who knows what could happen?” He looks over at his stepbrother. “You’re down to four minutes. I will leave without you.”
Finn nods once before turning and taking the steps up to his room two at a time.
Before they head out, they leave a note on the credenza for their parents:
We’re going to Westerville. Dalton has been quarantined. Bringing Blaine home. Please don’t be angry, I we didn’t have a choice.
Love,
Kurt and Finn
There’s a brief report on Dalton as Kurt is about to turn off the TV. The footage is from the evening before, military vehicles dotted around the entrance, piles of sandbags and barricades set up, soldiers walking past with automatic weapons. Finn makes a noise beside him that causes Kurt to wonder if he’s rethinking this plan. Kurt only feels his own resolve harden. The reporter says the school has been quarantined, that a student is sick, that parents are demanding their children be released, and that nothing more has been heard from the administration. They show military personnel forcing parents away from the area, turning back cars, pushing people, shouting. Two soldiers approach the camera crew, and the screen goes blank.
Kurt turns off the TV. “Let’s go,” he says quietly.
Finn follows him out the door.
~TBC~
Part Two
Part Three
Author: Aelora
Rating: PG (Eventual NC-17)
Warnings: zombies, character deaths, language, sexual situations, gore
Summary: This is not a love story. It’s not a story about friendship or family or a couple of boys who meet on a staircase one day and become the beginning, middle and end of one another’s lives. This is not a horror story or a character piece or a treatise on the apocalypse. This is a story about survival.
A/N: Special thanks to my betas - crazedwolf, who encourages my zombie obsession, wordplay, who just encourages, and whenidance, who is both an enabler and a very hotgood quick and dirty beta.
First off, I don't even know guys. The zombies grabbed me and wouldn't let go. This story is mostly angst. It’s putting our boys through hell, and spitting them back out again. It’s about how each of them copes differently with what is happening, and how that makes/breaks them together. It is a chaptered fic, and I hope to post 2 or so chapters a week, while trying to keep ahead of myself by 4 or so. This will end when the boys tell me it does, or there’s no one left to write about.
This is the shortest of the chapters. More of an intro, if you will.
And there, there overhead, there, there, hung over
Those thousands of white faces, those dazed eyes,
There in the starless dark, the poise, the hover,
There with vast wings across the cancelled skies,
There in the sudden blackness, the black pall
Of nothing, nothing, nothing - nothing at all.
The End of the World ~ Archibald MacLeish
Death is when the monsters get you.
STEPHEN KING, Salem's Lot
The only reason Kurt is going home for the weekend is because his dad is insisting. The epidemic that began only two months earlier continues to become more widespread and Kurt can hear the concern in his dad’s voice when they talk on his phone-come home, spend time with your family, you’re too far away for me to look out for you, I wish you were transferring sooner. He tries to get Blaine to come with him, but his friend has a report on the fall of the Roman Empire due on Monday, and he smiles as he points out that all they’d end up doing is watching Judy Garland movies and making playlists, and does Kurt really want him to fail?
Kurt knows he’s probably right but he still worries, still hates the idea of leaving Blaine at Dalton, and sure, the epidemic will likely never touch Westerville or Lima the way it has major cities around the world, but he can’t help but be a little protective. It’s what love does to a person, though he can’t really say as much to Blaine. So, he smiles, and tells him to be sure to text when he’s bored, and he’ll see him Monday morning.
When he gets home, he can feel the anxiety among his family like a palpable thing. No one really talks about it, but the television is always on quietly in the background, listening as news reports continue to pour in from the coasts, the larger cities in the country, and other countries around the world. They’re still trying to find Patient Zero; it began as a mutated version of swine flu somewhere in Asia that jumped species, and quickly began spreading. Reports say H4N2 is still mutating, but everything is sketchy. Journalists seem as lost as the general public they’re reporting to; governments are remaining quiet. All anyone really knows is that it travels from person to person like any other virus-a sneeze here, an uncovered cough there, germs passing from hand to hand, be careful kids and wash those hands before touching anyone after anything-and it begins as a very high fever. It’s probably safer not to go out in public places where you might be subjected to large groups of people.
International flights have temporarily been suspended. People in cities are seen walking along the streets in surgical masks. Restaurants are going out of business because no one wants to take the chance of eating out. Elementary schools are sending children home telling parents it might be better to home school for the time being. Hospitals are filled to overflowing. The death toll is mounting.
Sometimes Kurt and Finn will catch their parents whispering quietly to one another in the kitchen. When they realize the boys are there, they stop whatever they are saying and flash tense smiles. Kurt can’t help but feel like plans are being made that he’d rather not know anything about anyway. There’s a street corner in downtown Lima where a homeless man stands with a crudely written sign: The End is Here. At least he isn’t telling Kurt to pray about it-that would upset him more than the sentiment that the world might be ending, which he doubts anyway.
He meets up with Mercedes and Rachel at the playground in the exact center of where they all live. Their parents don’t want them to go to the mall, and most of the restaurants are closed - even the Lima Bean. None of them want to hang out at their respective houses because they’ve all noticed their parents tend to just stand around and watch them.
The first thing they say to him is, “Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell’s sick.”
It’s all they need to say. Lately, when you hear someone is sick, you don’t ask anything else. You don’t want to.
Kurt sits at the top of the slide as the two girls sit quietly in the swings; the playground is eerily empty except for them.
“National’s has been canceled for the time being,” Rachel says to neither of them, playing with the bottom button on her light blue cardigan. “I would think that music would be something people would want to hear right now.”
“Are you really comfortable with the idea of going to New York at the moment?” Mercedes asks, a little more sharply than she probably intended.
Rachel shrugs and grasps the chains of the swing on either side of her, pushing back and letting herself swing freely for a few quiet seconds. “It’s not like they’ve quarantined the city or anything.” She pauses, frowning. “You don’t think that will happen, do you? I mean, it couldn’t, of course.” She laughs, and there’s a nervous quality behind it.
Kurt doesn’t say anything.
Earlier that week, Nick had come running to Blaine’s room where they had been doing homework. He’d grabbed Blaine’s laptop from him, ignoring his protest as he opened the browser and typed in an address. It was a blog by some college student claiming that the government was keeping a lot more information from them on the epidemic than reported. The blogger claimed entire towns were being quarantined-no one was getting in, no one was getting out. The military was sweeping into places, and then, it was as if those places never existed. People were disappearing-important people in the government, the CDC, scientists, researchers. Hospitals were quietly closing, and no one seemed to know what happened to the patients.
Blaine had scoffed, told Nick there was no evidence behind any of the blogger’s claims, and he really needed to stop believing everything on the internet. Still, after Nick had left, a little crestfallen that Blaine hadn’t seemed as enthralled by the website as he was, Blaine had moved over to the bed where Kurt was sitting with his homework, and they’d held hands while they continued studying.
“Are you going to go back to Dalton for your last week?”
Kurt glances down at Mercedes at the question. “Why wouldn’t I?”
She and Rachel look at one another a moment before glancing back up at him. “A lot of the kids have stopped coming to school,” Rachel tells him. “We figured your dad wouldn’t want you being away anymore. And since you’re coming back to McKinley anyway…”
He clenches his teeth a moment as he glances out at the neighborhood surrounding the little park. It’s too quiet. No cars passing, no people out walking, not even dogs barking. It’s like the whole world is in hiding. “I think he wants me to stay. I think he’ll bring it up tomorrow. He and Carole keep-“ Kurt looks back down at the girls; they have shared expressions of worry on their faces. “If I can convince Blaine to come home with me, then I will.”
“Can’t he just go to his own home?”
Kurt doesn’t think Mercedes means her words to sound as cold as they do. Her family hasn’t been able to get a hold of her oldest brother who is away at college in Michigan for the last week. “Blaine’s parents haven’t answered his calls,” he says, and he knows Mercedes understands when she looks away silently.
“Do you think…” Rachel doesn’t finish her question, just stares up at Kurt with wide eyes.
He shrugs and looks away again. “Blaine says that sometimes they do that-take off to travel or something without telling him. He said he’ll worry when two weeks pass and there’s nothing.” He knows his friend was lying, though. Blaine has spent a lot of time staring at his phone over the last week.
Rachel’s phone chimes. She glances at it and sighs. “My dads want me home. They really don’t like me being gone for very long lately.”
“Same here,” Mercedes admits, and they both slip off the swings.
Kurt pushes his way down the slide, standing as both girls walk over to take turns hugging him. They seem to cling to each other an inordinate amount of time. Kurt tries not to believe that they’re honestly scared that something might happen; that they might not ever see each other again.
Still, as they all set off on their separate ways, he glances over his shoulder to see both of them glancing back as well. It’s enough to make his chest tighten with fear.
Kurt senses, but doesn’t know; it’s the last time that he sees either of them.
*************
Kurt had been right, of course, when he told Mercedes and Rachel that his dad was going to ask him to stay home come Sunday. It is during dinner. Kurt makes a comment that he texted Blaine earlier and hasn’t heard back yet. It has him worried. Blaine usually responds almost immediately.
“Kurt,” his dad begins, and when Kurt looks up, he does so with the knowledge of what is coming. “Carole and I’ve been talking, and we think it best that you don’t go back to Dalton. It doesn’t seem to make sense since your transfer will be official as of next week anyway. We want Finn to stay home, too. Neither of you should be going back to school at all until they get a handle on this epidemic.”
Finn looks up at that. “I don’t want to stay home. Things are weird enough, don’t you think? I mean, glee’s the only thing that takes my mind off of it anymore.”
Kurt’s glad that Finn’s the first to protest. He says, “I want to go back to Dalton for my last week. I don’t think there’s any reason it isn’t safe. Administration has been really careful-there are signs everywhere about reporting to the nurse if you aren’t feeling well, and they put up all kinds of automatic hand sanitizers around the buildings. There’s even a new cleaning crew that comes in and cleans our room for us-“
“Dude, you don’t have to clean your own room?” Finn asks, looking both disbelieving and envious.
Kurt opens his mouth to respond but his dad cuts him off, “That’s not the point, kiddo. Dalton’s just too far away for my comfort. I can’t get to ya quickly enough if there’s a problem.”
“We just want both of you boys safe until there’s a vaccination out there and things can get back to normal,” Carole says softly.
Both Finn and Kurt look over at her. She’s a nurse, the most knowledgeable one in the household. Her words don’t match her expression, and it’s obvious to both of them she’s a lot less confident about the thought of a vaccination than she says.
“I’ll call the schools in the morning,” Burt says.
Kurt remains silent for a few moments as he pushes the whole grain pasta around on his plate with his fork. Finally, he tells them, “I’m going back.”
“Kurt-“
He looks up to meet his dad’s gaze. “I can’t just leave Blaine there by himself, Dad. If nothing else, I at least have to go back and get him. Get my things. Stuff like that.”
“Your things aren’t important-they’ll still be there when this all blows over,” his dad replies. “As for Blaine… well, I’m sorry, Kurt, but I need to look out for my own son.”
Kurt sets his fork down, and folds his hands in his lap. “Blaine doesn’t have anyone else. He doesn’t have parents to look out for him because they aren’t responding to his calls. He’s my best friend. He’s-“ Kurt stops himself from going in to too much detail about what the boy means to him. He thinks his dad already knows anyway. “I need to at least bring him back here. Let him stay with us. He can sleep on the couch. Whatever. I am not going to leave him there.”
His dad glances over at Carole and they share a brief, silent look. When he looks back at Kurt, he says, “You can tell him he is welcome to stay here, but you’re not going to get him. He can drive himself. And for our family’s safety, I prefer he come tomorrow. The sooner he gets away from a school full of people, the better off he and we will be.”
Kurt nods, accepting the fact that this is as much as he’s going to get. He knows if he asks Blaine to get some things from his room, he will. Still, a part of him wants to be able to go back to Dalton, if only briefly, if only to wish his friends in the Warblers good luck. They might not be as close as the kids in New Directions, but he’s definitely grown fond of all of them, particularly a few. They’ve very much become a second family to him, and he hopes they all stay safe.
After dinner he tries calling Blaine, but only gets his voicemail. Not wishing to alarm his friend, he only says, “Hey, it’s me. Please call when you can-I need to talk to you about tomorrow. Thanks.”
He decides to text as well.
To: Blaine Anderson
From: Kurt Hummel
Haven’t heard from you. Worried. Plz txt. ~K
Kurt busies himself with his skin care regime while he waits. He can hear the television from downstairs; in the room next to him, Finn is on the phone with someone, possibly Puck, telling him about how he won’t be going back to school tomorrow. He says words like “this is insane”, “wish someone knew what was going on”, “Mom and Burt seem… scared”. Kurt tries to block it out, concentrates on his regime, wishing that Blaine would call. He just wants to hear his voice.
Over the next few hours, he leaves four more messages, sends more than two dozen texts. He curls up on his bed with his phone in his hand and eventually his eyes close of their own volition.
Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” jolts him awake. The light on the screen of his phone is almost blinding, but for a moment he can’t look away-the time reads 3:24. There are very few reasons Blaine would call at that time of night, and none of them are good.
“Why haven’t you called?” He asks immediately, not bothering to keep the upset from his voice.
“Kurt, things are… things are happening here.” There’s a tremor in Blaine’s voice; real, tangible fear.
Kurt sits up, pulling his knees to his chest. “Wh-what do you mean?”
“We’re quarantined. No one can get in or out.”
“Quaran-“ Kurt can’t even get the word out. He thinks of the website, thinks of the news reports of hospitals being quarantined and then… nothing. He jumps out of bed, turning on the light. “Blaine, I’m coming to get you-“
“Didn’t you just hear what I said?” Blaine’s tone goes from fearful to angry fairly quickly. “No one is getting in or out. Not students, not parents, not faculty. No one. ”
He just stops in the center of his room, wrapping his free arm around his chest. He’s chilled suddenly, goose bumps breaking out over his skin, even though he knows it’s mildly warm outside. “Blaine, what happened? Why did they do this?”
There’s a momentary silence and Kurt is afraid they lost their connection. Then, Blaine sighs. “Jeremy came back this afternoon from visiting his parents this weekend. He had a fever. ”
Kurt draws in a sharp breath-Jeremy is one of the Warblers he hasn’t really gotten all that close to, mostly because they hang in different circles other than rehearsal. “You didn’t-I mean none of the other Warblers got near him?”
“No,” Blaine says, and Kurt’s shoulders sag with relief. He knows he should be worried about Jeremy, but the thought that Blaine might have been exposed… “The nurse informed his roommate. He didn’t make it much past the front door.”
“Oh.” Kurt forces himself to sit in the chair at his vanity. He can tell Blaine’s story isn’t finished.
“They called a general assembly around two this afternoon. They came through and searched our rooms, collected our phones, Kurt. I don’t know if you tried to text or what, but, I don’t have my phone anymore. Luckily, Kendrick has this pre-paid one his grandma sent him to convince him to call her more-we’re all making calls on it. There isn’t much time left. ”
Kurt knows he’s talking about the minutes when he says there isn’t much time left, but there’s something sinister in the unspoken meaning behind the words.
“They kept us there for hours-they wouldn’t say much other than a student was sick and that we shouldn’t worry. They said our parents were being contacted-I think that’s bullshit. They even cut off our internet access. When we were finally allowed to leave, some of the students saw it when they went outside and they ran in to tell us-there’s military surrounding the school. Soldiers with guns, barricades, there’s even a tank, Kurt. A tank! ”
“Blaine-“
“This is serious, Kurt. I just had to call and tell you. Warn you not to try to come back tomorrow morning, though I’m sure it’s already on the news.” He pauses, and then adds, “I just wanted to be able to talk to you. ”
Kurt’s throat tightens. He’s trying not to think, he can’t even allow himself to imagine-but there’s finality to Blaine’s voice that’s impossible to ignore. “Blaine, everything is going to be fine. These are just precautionary measures. They were able to contain Jeremy, so the illness can’t spread. You-you guys are better off now. Safer. If they are keeping from anyone else getting in, that means it can’t touch you. This… this will all blow over and then the quarantine will be lifted.”
This is why Kurt has never gone into acting, has stuck to singing-he doesn’t believe a word he just said, and he can tell none of it was convincing.
There’s another brief silence, and then Blaine begins with, “Kurt,” and he’s heard that tone before, remembers what it was like standing there in the Lima Bean as Blaine so earnestly and honestly poured his heart out to him, told him how much he cared, how scared he was at the idea of screwing up what they had between them. And he feels terror filling him even before Blaine says, “This may be the last chance I have to say this- “
“Stop!” He snaps. “Blaine, don’t-just don’t!” He jumps to his feet and runs to his closest, yanking out clothes to put on. “I’m coming to get you. This isn’t going to happen. This can’t-“
“Dammit, will you shut up and listen to me for a moment, please? ”
It’s the pleading in Blaine’s voice that breaks him. He stops what he’s doing, letting his forehead drop against the closet door as the tears begin to fall.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes when it comes to you... us, ” Blaine tells him quietly. “I feel like I’ve wasted-everything. Every chance, every moment, and every word I should have been saying but never did. I need you to know that from the moment I met you, you’ve meant everything to me. Everything, Kurt. And I wish I hadn’t been such a coward. There are so many moments when I should have just shed my stupid fears about losing you and… and kissed you. I wanted-I want to kiss you, Kurt. You have no idea how many times, and now we won’t-we may never get that chance, and that’s my fault, and I just need you to know how sorry I am, how- “
“Please stop, Blaine,” Kurt begs, not bothering to hide the sounds of his crying. “Please. I can’t-this can’t be happening-“
“Courage,” Blaine whispers, and Kurt can hear his tears with the word that holds so much meaning between them, and he sobs, sliding to the floor.
“I love you, Blaine. I love you so much.”
“Oh, Kurt. I lov- “
The line goes silent.
Kurt panics, hitting *69 but Blaine doesn’t pick up. “The number you have reached has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please hang up and-”
Throwing his phone across the room angrily, Kurt buries his face into his hands, sobbing. His mind is chanting this can’t be happening, this can’t be happening, this can’t be happening even as the realist in him knows it is, knows it has. He should have forced Blaine to come home with him for the weekend. What the hell did the fall of the Roman Empire even mean now? The whole world is falling apart, his world is falling apart, and he’s helpless to do anything about it.
No. Not helpless.
Kurt lifts his head, thinking. The grounds on Dalton are huge. Almost three quarters of the property are surrounded by woods, orchards, farm land. There is no possible way that the military could be covering all of it. Surely there’s an opening, somewhere he can sneak through, get on to campus, find Blaine and get him out of there. If he doesn’t at least try-
There’s no point in thinking about it any longer. Yes, his dad is going to be angry, but at the moment, he doesn’t really care what his dad thinks.
An hour later, he’s downstairs, packing his messenger bags with things he might need, though he honestly has no idea-flashlight, some batteries, his dad’s Swiss army knife, some granola bars, two bottles of water, a map of Ohio. He’s dressed in colors he thinks will mostly blend into the foliage; olive green trousers tucked into his Doc Martens, a beige button down with brown checked vest and matching brown scarf wrapped around his neck. He figures he might as well be fashionable when sneaking past the military.
Beside him lays a box he hasn’t had the nerve to open yet. He’s still undecided as to whether or not he should take it. On the one hand, things could happen in which he’d need it. On the other hand, things could happen, which would make having it a bad thing. On the television playing quietly in front of him, the local news is reporting on business closures, more pleas coming in for parents to keep their kids at home, a press release from the White House for everyone to remain calm. Rioting continues to break out in major cities.
“Dude, what’s going on?”
Kurt spins around at Finn’s voice, flushing guiltily as his brother takes a moment to glance over his clothing, and then the messenger bag stuffed with supplies beside him. His eyes narrow a little as he steps forward.
“Burt doesn’t want us leaving the-“
“Blaine called,” Kurt tells him quietly, quickly. “One of the Warblers showed up sick. They’ve quarantined the school. The military has it surrounded-no one gets in, no one gets out. Finn, I have to try to get to him. I have to get him out of there.”
But Finn is already shaking his head. “No way. No way in hell, Kurt. You know how stupid it would be to even try something like that, not to mention even if you did succeed by some fricken miracle, your dad would have your hide when you got back here. Hell, he might not even let Blaine stay with us, he’d be so pissed.”
“I don’t care.” Kurt turns back to his packing, his eyes straying for a moment to the TV. “I have to do something.”
“I’m waking our parents up-“
“Finn, no!” Kurt whispers furiously, whirling around to grab him, stop him from heading upstairs. “What would you do if you were in my position?” He asks. “If this were Quinn, or Rachel, or even Puck? Would you just leave them there, knowing that with everything that’s happening, with everything-“ Kurt’s voice catches, and he can feels tears threatening again. “You might never see them again…”
Finn’s expression softens at that, and he reaches out to lay a hand on Kurt’s shoulder. “You really care about him, don’t you?”
Kurt just nods, dropping his gaze.
There’s a long silence where he tries to figure out just what he’ll do if Finn makes the choice to go and wake their parents. Could he make it to the car in time for them to be unable to stop him?
“Fine,” his stepbrother says after a moment. “But I’m going with you.”
Kurt looks up at him quickly. “No, Finn. You should stay here. This isn’t your problem. Dad and Carole need you here and-“
“I think your dad is pretty capable of looking after my mom,” Finn says with a small smile. “And vice versa. It’s not going to be easy getting onto the Dalton school grounds. You could use someone to back you up. Not to mention, do you really think Blaine is just going to walk off and leave his friends behind? You may need me there to hit him over the head and carry him out.”
Kurt hadn’t thought about that. And he finds himself wondering if he can possibly get all of the Warblers out at the same time. He certainly can’t get the whole school, but maybe the Warblers…
“Give me ten minutes to change and get some things together.”
“Five,” Kurt says, turning back to his own packing as he reaches out to pick up the untouched box.
“What’s that?”
Kurt opens the lid and beside him, Finn gasps.
“Dude, do you even know how to use that thing?”
“Yeah. Dad took me to target practice a few times a couple years back. Bonding time, or whatever.” He reaches in and pulls out the handgun, a Glock 17 9mm. He checks the chamber to make certain it’s empty before slipping it into his bag, and then gathers up the bullets in the bottom of the box, tucking them into the inside pocket.
“What… I mean, why do you think you need that?” Finn sounds nervous.
Kurt shrugs. “Just in case. There’s looting, rioting. Who knows what could happen?” He looks over at his stepbrother. “You’re down to four minutes. I will leave without you.”
Finn nods once before turning and taking the steps up to his room two at a time.
Before they head out, they leave a note on the credenza for their parents:
We’re going to Westerville. Dalton has been quarantined. Bringing Blaine home. Please don’t be angry, I we didn’t have a choice.
Love,
Kurt and Finn
There’s a brief report on Dalton as Kurt is about to turn off the TV. The footage is from the evening before, military vehicles dotted around the entrance, piles of sandbags and barricades set up, soldiers walking past with automatic weapons. Finn makes a noise beside him that causes Kurt to wonder if he’s rethinking this plan. Kurt only feels his own resolve harden. The reporter says the school has been quarantined, that a student is sick, that parents are demanding their children be released, and that nothing more has been heard from the administration. They show military personnel forcing parents away from the area, turning back cars, pushing people, shouting. Two soldiers approach the camera crew, and the screen goes blank.
Kurt turns off the TV. “Let’s go,” he says quietly.
Finn follows him out the door.
~TBC~
Part Two
Part Three