I'm going home....
Since christmas I have yet to be home and have yet to have been able to leave this infernal prison. But now... Today... I'm going home. I am finally able to go home and see my family again. Though, it will be quite a challenge to get around for right now, I am still going home. I have both my heels needing immediate care and surgery and due to the stress of limping on my toes my left foot has a torn tendon/ligament and my right ligament/tendon is ripping. It makes me heart sick to know that I will not get to fully enjoy my weekend away. It makes me heart sick knowing I really can't do anything... I am strictly forbidden to being on my feet. I was not allowed crutches nor a wheelchair...... so it confines me to my bed. Maybe with help I can get to a couch. But other than that, the only other moving around I am granted is to go to the bathroom. I am officially a gimp. And I am reminded so every time I step out my door. Yes, I still get around. I know I am not permitted to leave the confines of my room unless to go to Wellness (and Safety has to be called to get me), but I leave anyway. I can not be locked away for almost a month feeling immobile. I am a Plasterer. I am Foreman of my trade. I am maintenance D.A. at my dorm as well as SGA office assistant. I am a judge on campus. I am not used to lying still in wait and hopes that I will heal in time for my next assignment. I am not used to lying in wait to begin with anymore. I do not know what to do with myself with so much time suddenly thrust into my grasp. I do not like the idea that I have so much time contemplate. I know my mind will begin to dwell upon my own self pity and self worth. I remember the days when I was begging for an opportunity as such as this to sit and do nothing, to be lazy. As I reflect back now, I wonder why I would ever want such an "opportunity." I have enough trouble finding sleep, let alone finding a time to be lazy. I am always on the go and up on my feet. They are my money. They are my job. And now... They are lost to me.