Fun & Confirmation

[aekiy]

Two weeks ago, as well as Monday of last week, I worked an early shift at work, filling in for the other full-timer who was out on vacation.  During this time, I put in extra hours to cover the workload and also to take this past Friday off work without using any vacation days.  I hit 80 hours a little before six o'clock on Thursday evening and

Comments

[primaldog]

This pretty well confirms that I am diabetic, in addition to being gluten intolerant, arthritic, and.. borreliotic

Uhm, have you had a health professional back up these allegations? I'd be careful about declaring yourself all these things before being looked at by a doctor.

[aekiy]

Like I said, with as much certainty as I can before I can see a doctor. I got 123, which is lower-end borderline, and that's without having any starches, or any sugars other than from fruit for the past some months. Jana, who has diabetes, regularly gets around 126. It's in the range that it should be controllable through diet and exercise. That's the best information I have to go on until I start working from home, which should save me enough money so that I can afford to buy health insurance and start seeing doctors.

[primaldog]

Even before seeing a doctor, this isn't 'knowing', and it won't be until these findings are confirmed by a health professional. I mean if I where you and I had all these problems, I would've been saving up for a health insurance plan long before, and not spent money on things like a new laptop and videogames.

Just a thought.

[aekiy]

I qualified that "knowing" with "as well as I can," as I mentioned in the last comment. I have been saving as much money as I can, but it still isn't enough, and I haven't been spending money on laptops and video games. I got the laptop because I required it to go to school, as my old one isn't working, and because I didn't have to pay anything for it. I won't have to start paying on it until March, by which time I'll be both saving extra money and making more money than I am now. I've also spent a sum total of about $100 on video games in the past four years.

[primaldog]

I'm pretty sure you've spent alot more than that, based alone on what I've seen, let alone others. I'm not even going to bother bringing up the second laptop, in addition to all the weekend roadtrips (I wish I could afford to go away on weekends like that!)--but my point has been made clear.

It seems to me that all you feel like doing is contenting yourself with perpetuating the image of being broken, and not doing anything about the alleged health problems you claim to have. Therefore, my ability to give a crap is rapidly waning, and the long list of problems is growing to a point of sheer ridiculousness.

Right now Duo and I are placing bets on how long it takes you to run crying back to Des. Again. Care to give us a clue?

[aekiy]

I'm pretty sure you've spent alot more than that, based alone on what I've seen, let alone others.

Well, you're wrong. I recently spent $20 to purchase a replacement for my Diablo II: Lord of Destruction expansion disc that got lost. Prior to that, I spent $70 on World of WarCraft in January because my brother wanted me to play with him, but since he never really played and I didn't like the game, I stopped playing in February, canceled the subscription and gave the game to kyrin7 to use the remaining time. Before that, I spent $20 on that cheesy Diablo clone game when I was out with Duo. Before that, I spent $15 on Phantasy Star Online: Blue Burst back in late spring/early summer, 2005. So that's $125, not counting the $60 I spent purchasing copies of Diablo as gifts for animelily, diraskyria and datacat (I didn't count those because they weren't for me

[primaldog]

r no one see me as broken, but I'd also rather not be sick as I am. I have no care for creating an image of myself, but I will not censor myself from talking about my health problems just because people have created this paranoid conspiracy theory that I'm faking the whole thing to get attention.

Well, perhaps putting yourself in other people's shoes might help you realize what might make people think that way, and maybe you could help yourself in thinking more positively by not jumping to conclusions and all these half-cocked diagnoses without the opinion of a health professional.

Now, it seems clear that you're not trying to be helpful at all; I read this as an attack on my person.

You read everything as an attack on your person. Wether it is or not is irrelevant because you are going to percieve it as such wether I say it isn't or it is. I so knew you where going to reuse that tired old line again.

I love her, I genuinely do, even if that doesn't make sense, and even if it's harmful to me. I've realized recently that it

[aekiy]

You read everything as an attack on your person. Wether it is or not is irrelevant because you are going to percieve it as such wether I say it isn't or it is. I so knew you where going to reuse that tired old line again.No, I don't. What started out as a skeptical point regarding my self-diagnosis turned into a discussion about how everything about me is wrong. How, exactly, does Des have anything to do with whether or not I'm diabetic? You completely changed the subject in order to say something that you knew would be hurtful to me. That is why I perceive it as an attack; obviously, under most circumstances, you wouldn't actually tell me that you're attacking me. That's the way these things go

[primaldog]

Also, you don't need to try to prove anything for me with regards to expenses, you're not even including both laptops, let alone the expenses you jack up going out to eat at all these expensive places, and numerous other things we could sit here all night and argue about. But I'm not, because in the end its useless, and sick people such as yourself probably won't get the hint anyway.

[aekiy]

I eat at an $8.95 Indian buffet a couple times a week. Other than that, I eat out of the refrigerator. I eat at the buffet because it's all I can eat, which means extra nutrition that I need, and a relatively balanced meal, which is something I don't know how to cook for myself. I'm working on that. The other laptop was a cheapy that cost the same as one month of health insurance, doctor and hospital fees not included. I bought that one as a spare so that I could send my VAIO in for repairs and still have something to use to attend my online classes

[aekiy]

That should be "I'm only now separating myself from the patterns..."

[helen99]

But... While you were at my place you kept saying you were recovering from patterns that you'd picked up elsewhere (your parents' place, the relationship with predikit, the cult, etc. You move from place to place, and at each new place, the last place is indicated as the source of residual patterns.

All these patterns are your own. Do not indicate my name or my house as their source, neither the good nor the bad. You're going to school and arranging your work schedule in a way that is beneficial to you. That's not a result of me or my house. Nor is your being messed up.

Oh, and if you are diabetic, hie thee to a doctor pronto. That is some serious stuff. If your parents won't help, maybe your diabetic uncle will.

[aekiy]

I wasn't meaning your house was the source of my patterns, just that I'm starting to realize the patterns I developed while I was there (and some other things lingering from before, and how they feed into each other).

[helen99]

Ah, ok.

[primaldog]

You can criticize all you like, but quite frankly, until you are living on your own, outside of your family's house, paying your way for everything, working full-time throughout the year, while pursuing a degree, you have no basis from which to criticize my life.

You conveniently left out the little fact that I have lived on my own before, in NY, working 60-hour work weeks on no health insurance whatsoever on a shit job. But I'm not about to get into a pissing contest over this with you--I'm done. Not only with this, but with all this whiny bullshit pity-me routines that you always seem to like to play. You're apparent stupidity is not my problem--maybe instead of deliberately overloading yourself, you might put that money you're spending on stressing yourself by working and going to school full time into improving your health, instead of overstressing yourself then whining about how put-out, victimized and tragic you are. It doesn't impress me.

(Continued from previous)

[aekiy]

Yes, I've been a complete idiot about that for a long, long time. I understand that. I just never wanted to become bitter and cynical to the point that I chose to hate people that I truly care about simply because it was more convenient, and I gave her extra chances because I value the ideal of giving people the chance to create a new life and prove themselves better. No, I probably shouldn't have given her as many chances as I have. It's probably a trivial point, and maybe it's just me being defensive, but I've never actually gone to her -- she's always come to me. I think that's been part of the problem, that she's come to me and I haven't turned her away